Apologies - I was using it in the sociological/anthropological sense. I have an academic background in network theory, and there it does not carry the negative connotation that it does in "real life" conversation. It merely describes from an analytical viewpoint how people make connections, including deep friendships. Again, deep apologies for misrepresenting (unintentionally) what you said. We meant the same things but were using different language.

;)

It is what it is regardless of how people feel about the terminology and how people rationalize it. I chose my friends because I like something about them which consists of how my life benefits from being their friend. I don't have any friends who have nothing positive to offer to my life and whose accomplishments/overall life pattern are not in line with mine. That's the same logic as why I don't have friends who can't pass a criminal background check or whose association with me would reflect poorly on my own background check. That's all the same process of social capital/social ties/networking/social networking/and whatever individuals and fields of expertise choose to call it.

It is also not always conscious. Your ties to people are being built (or broken) even when you are not thinking along those lines. And those who are in privileged positions have an even greater privilege of gaining strong networks even when they claim to be unconcerned with such.

Granted, though I know I have benefited when I have made friends, or at least gotten to know, people who I wouldn't normally consider myself drawn to. It's the "meet the right kind of people" aspect of "networking" as described here that rubs me a bit the wrong way. But I completely get what you're saying. And while I'm sure I unconsciously do it, I just don't think in terms of "networking." For more on why, see below. :D

No apologies necessary. I recognize that the concept has its place, and that its more academic usage is somewhat different from the more common usage.

My dislike for it comes from three sources:

1) Overuse of the term in business-speak;
2) Overuse of the term in a way that I think reinforces the dynamic I described above; and perhaps most importantly
3) My extreme (and slightly neurotic) dislike of taking nouns like "network" and turning them into verbs. (You'll also never hear me use "impact" as a verb -- the very thought makes me shudder.)

http://open.salon.com/files/calvin1220998977.bmp

I don't like it when meteorologists turn the word 'overnight' into a noun. (Ex: We can expect rain during the overnight.) I don't like it.

I think we can shift the paradigm and think out of the box about how to network. HA!

I accept the term network, just like I use the phrase "working the room" as a description for what you do at a cocktail party or chamber of commerce function. I consider it shorthand for what you do, not a derogatory or predatory thing.

And I think the older you get (but maybe this is trending younger?) the more you seek friends with purpose. Probably because it's harder to make friends the older you get, but I don't ever remember saying as a kid, oooh, I could be friends with her, and working toward that goal. But as an adult (particularly having to start from scratch in a foreign country) it happens ALL THE TIME. So yes, I network for my friends.

Re: Networking

Networking is also making a positive impression on acquaintances. I'll use the summer camp example earlier in the thread. Let's say there are three cabins of girls your age. Maybe you are only "friends" with the girls in your own cabin, but if the girls in the other two cabins know your name and think you are nice, they are part of your network.

I think for sororities they also have to take into consideration just how large the recruiting class really is. At my college, there were about 500 hopefuls and only 5 sororities (Alpha Delta Pi, Theta Phi Alpha, etc.). Theta has a pledge class of over 60. If all 5 took that many, there would still be 200 not taken in.

If the school is using Release Figures Management (or RFM), which most schools are now, that is not an issue. Quota (or the number of women each chapter can take during formal recruitment) is the number of potential new members left by preference night divided by the number of sororities.

Therefore it would not matter if it were 1000 PNMs and 5 sororities, if all 1000 attended preference night and ranked all three choices on her MRABA card (also called pref card, bid card, etc), she will receive a bid to one of the three sororities listed. Thus, the new member classes would be 200 women each (in this example).

No, that's not how NPC recruitment works at all. You're new here, and also new to Greek life. Stay in your lane, please.

Thank you for dispelling that myth then.

There are no "myths" involved. This is how SORORITY recruitment happens.

As stated earlier, you'd best stay in your lane.

I hope that a lot of 2013 moms and daughters are reading this!

I'm glad this kind of nepotism and favoritism doesn't exist in my organization.

Please don't try to sound holier than thou on this one. When I was an undergrad, I may have had the same feelings you do now, but I've really changed my mind in the last few years. There's a reason they say "it's not what you know, it's who you know".

First of all, the power of pre-existing relationships and networking IS happening in your chapter - just on a different level. Calling it "nepotism and favoritism" is making an issue black and white that is far from it. You're also implying that women are being robbed of something, like a spot in a top chapter that they have the "stats" for. We've already gone over this- recruitment is not about some absolute list of good, better, best PNMs - it's about personality fit and so very many intangibles.

Additionally, why would you ever demean the importance of having someone be able to vouch for you? Even with something like a job interview or school admissions, there are far too many intangibles (like personality, determination, work ethic, etc) that are hard to completely vet in an application process. That's why so many jobs are filled by applicants who are recommended by an employee.

Networking is a powerful life skill and life tool. It has a legitimate place in most orgs.

^^^^^^ This. Should connections go to the exclusion of qualifications, personality, appearance? No. But to pretend your best friend for your whole life shouldn't get a leg up into your chapter of other great friends is lunacy.

And that attitude is going to serve you very VERY poorly in the business world. Learn how to use the system now and you will be a step beyond the millenials who think they are owed jobs simply because they want it.

This is something that people rushing at what they call "noncompetitive" (there really is no such thing) schools need to realize. If you walk into chapter parties and don't know at least 1 or 2 sisters by sight, you're at an enormous disadvantage.

I also wonder if the increasing amount of suite-style dorms is a factor. If you don't have to share a tv room or bathroom with 30 other people, it's easy to fall into the scared antisocial trap.

I never read this whole thread before, and think it's spot on. Until I was about to enter college, I had never realized that everyone (literally!) on my street who went to college was a member of a fraternity or a sorority. I had thought that just my next door neighbor (who kept a Trident magazine on the coffee table at all times) and hearing that my grandmother was a Kappa were the only two.

Also, most (if not all) of the camp counselors where I went to camp were greeks. This camp attracted campers from all over the east coast, so there were greeks from Duke, Clemson, UVA, and MTSU, along with Cornell, PSU, Pitt, and CMU. The counselors for my group were from Duke & CMU, and they left a wonderful impression! As was stated, it was networking, networking, networking.

Bumping this one! :)

Bumping for 2019!