This is one of those topics that is fraught with nuances and isn't easily answered.

Here are a handful of scenarios I've encountered:

1. My roommate was a double leg at a very popular chapter at our school. She got dropped from them the night before prefs. Which did not sit well with mom, who lit up our dorm room phone (my roommate was out partying, and I kept taking messages), and probably the phones of several alum groups, etc. Lotta pissed off people, lotta drama.

I felt bad for her, especially I knew she'd been very outspoken to me and several other sororities that she was pledging her legacy. That was her bad, and she ended up dropping out.

2. I was a legacy at a house that invited me back to second round as a courtesy. They were polite and friendly and made me feel very welcome, but looking around at the party, I knew I wasn't their typical member. They didn't do anything to make me feel that way, but I was a Nilla Wafer surrounded by Pepperidge Farm Milanos. And I knew that. And I was fine with it. So I wasn't devastated to lose them from my party list after round two because I knew they'd given me the benefit of the doubt, and I was still left with a list of great parties with houses I loved. I never held it against them, and I doubt anyone, including my sister, lost any sleep over it.


3. My first year on the sister side of rush, we had a "megaleg" come through. Her mother had exposed her to our sorority, her sister had done the same, and we all loved her and she loved us. It was a great fit, and she's a model alum to this day. Everyone was happy.

4. The next year, we had a legacy coming to our house who I thought would have been...OK. She was definitely a little awkward, and while she had a few people championing her cause, not everyone was sold. She was very interested in us, which made it that much harder. Our advisors were pushing her HARD, and that rubbed some people the wrong way. So ultimately after a lot of discussion, we didn't invite her back. I felt bad, but at the same time - was it better to disappoint her than to have her join and be treated badly by half the chapter? As much as we'd like college women to behave like grown-ups, they're not always capable of it. But - we cut her after round two, and that freed her up to find a good fit. Which, thankfully, she did.

5. The same year, we had a legacy who came through and was extremely rude to her hostess, telling her she had no intention of setting foot in our house. And we weren't allowed to cut her, even though she had been a jackass. She didn't return for round two, which was due to her rankings, but we would have loved the satisfaction of axing her.

It reminds me of balancing chemical equations in high school - you have to carefully weigh every element and consider every factor or it could blow up on you.

Sometimes, even if you do it right, it can still blow up on you

This is a great analogy! But you know, that continues to happen all through life.

Well, it takes Nilla Wafers to make banana pudding, so I thrive on being built for comfort and not speed. :)

So to speak.

I remember my husband once described me to a friend as "sturdy". I was horrified, until I realized that sturdy gets the job done!

And they only think they're Milanos! Maybe they're just really...oatmeal cookies.

: ) nutter butters

See? Exactly! The point is, ALL cookies are delicious and wonderful and valuable. There's room in the cookie jar for all of us!

I think a lot of them are thinking "OMG, we have to cut x number of girls 1) due to RFM 2) because we have a boatload of legacies we have to think about. Jackie is a legacy to another group? Great, we can cut her and not feel guilty because surely they'll take her." I think math kind of goes out the window at that point. (by "that point" I mean 1 am in the morning after a full day of parties)

p.s. your username is cute. :)

I've written and deleted about a gazillion different posts, stating differing opinions. This is really one of those discussions where most of us could pick a side, EITHER side and fight for it. I think that in general it works the way it should. Chapters seem to give legacies extra attention, and appreciate them for the additional gift of family that they provide. Yes, bad stuff happens from time to time on either side of the argument, but I don't think that's too often.

But now I'm obsessed with what kind of cookie I am. I am certainly no mint milano, but I can't say I'm a nilla wafer either. I'm some kinda cookie that's got fruit and is nutty, but nothing fancy. Mix it together and drop by spoonsful onto the pan. Eat in small doses or I become too much.

We had a legacy come through one year named Ginger Snapp. (I promise I'm not making that up.) We pledged her.

The KDs at State pledged one named Ida Cline! (She became Homecoming Queen.)

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3284/...39bbe42644.jpg

http://kidsfunreviewed.com/wp-conten...er-cookies.jpg

http://www.grandmaskitchen.com/wp-co...ll-cookies.jpg

http://adozeneggs.com/wordpress/wp-c...ra-cookies.jpg

okay, MC. you have proved that some cookies DO NOT belong in the same cookie jar-lol!

We had a PNM one year named Pepper White. Middle name...

Wareagle.

Yes, her parents met at Auburn, and she came to UGA. As did her sister.

Whitney Tiger White.

You cannot make this stuff up.

Also, I would like a recipe for the severed finger cookies.

BraveMaroon, I swear to you that when she was born, I saw that name in the Auburn Alum Magazine and asked my husband why on earth anyone would name their kid Pepper WarEagle!!!!

I wonder where she pledged?

MC, you are a sick man. :(

Fig Newton?

Yuck! When I was little, I'd get upset when my mom would mix cookies in the cookie jar. I do NOT want Oreo dust on my Chips Ahoy!, and vice-versa. :mad: It makes me sick just thinking about it.

On a serious note, this is a place where those of us in NPC groups could learn from the NPHC. From my experience with NPHC friends and family members, legacies may have aspirations and even expectations of being in their mother or grandmother's sorority, they always learn that membership in the legacy group is not promised. That of course, doesn't prevent mothers and grandmothers from going nuts when their kid doesn't get in, but NPHC legacies, for the most part, know they have to work as hard as, and in some cases harder than, everyone else.

I think this philosophy has to be brought home a lot more, especially as demand for NPC membership grows. Because of Bright Futures and HOPE, the sororities are having to make deep cuts earlier than they had to when we were in school. We have to make sure alumnae are aware of these changes.

Okay, the undie cookies would be really cute for a Bachelorette Party.

The other cookies... scare me. I can think of a weird past PNM to go with all of them though. Desserts for the Disturbed?


Recipe for the finger cookies, from one of Martha Stewart's Halloween Specials.: http://www.food.com/recipe/severed-f...cookies-135850

I think fig newton might be the perfect description for me. I'm a tasty treat that not everyone appreciates. Sweet but with a little bite. Flakey on the outside, gooey on the inside!

http://www.linkedin.com/in/cinnamonbaker

This is a real person.

Thank you for the informative replies and hilarious cookie analogies!

I thought we included legacy information on rush applications simply to let the sororities know we were familiar with the requirements and responsibilities that go along with membership in a GLO. That's why I was horrified to read that some groups could possibly assume that means the PNM is only interested in belonging to the same sorority, so would release her just because she is an XYZ legacy.

My daughter knows she will be truly fortunate to be accepted into any of the amazing sororities at Auburn and is certainly intending to maximize her possibilities. I hope she conveys this by her positive attitude, since we can't go back in time and note on her application that she is open to all of the groups (which, LtCol, is a great idea)!

And of course I know we do not know/cannot divulge membership selection info -- I guess I just wanted to know if you all thought the groups "traditionally" release legacies of all other sororities. In hindsight, I realize that was an irrational and kind of dumb thing to think. How could we poach legacies if that was the case??!! (JK) I can only plead that I was having a bit of a nervous breakdown last night when I read this thread.

Honestly, the next three days are going to be longest of my life!

LOL at Literal Lady Fingers.

I think it's time for a Sheetcake visit....

In all seriousness, when we get a rec where it indicates the PNM is a legacy elsewhere, it's more or less, "great, she is familiar with Greek Life and the time and resources that is requires". We also know that if a family member has been in a sorority, they have support from home during that familiar new-member slump that we always hear about.

What, my cookies weren't enough? :(

Your cookies are deserving of their own Food Network Show. But I still want my Sheetcake.

As NPCs age and have a larger alumnae base, I wonder if orgs may consider changing the definition of a legacy. If there are so many legacies running around, maybe "grandmother" is too distant of a relationship to require special consideration.

Nooooooo! At least I can hope that one of my granddaughters will go Pi Phi!:)

Am I correct that Chi Omega already has this policy?

I have actually wondered the same thing. Some orgs, incluing my own, consider great-grandmother when defining legacy policy. I wouldn't be surprised if at some point groups decide to drop that one.

Yes, you are correct. Mothers and sisters only and it's been that way as long as I can remember.

You never know how accurate Panhellenic recruitment books are, but here is the web address for the one from Kansas State.

http://www.k-state.edu/greek/documen...itment_002.pdf

On page 22, it lists what the 12 NPC groups at KSU consider to be legacies.
Chi O is the most restrictive and considers only sister and mother. TriDelta has dropped grandmother, but lists step-sister and step-mother. Zeta is the most inclusive and includes great-grandmother, aunts and step relatives.

(FYI The "fun" brochure with blurbs about all the sororities is http://www.k-state.edu/greek/documen...itment_002.pdf )

I thought Alpha Xi Delta had the most liberal policy. Can't really remember, but I know a lot of chapters are now including "steps"


Alpha Xi:
Definition. An Alpha Xi Delta legacy is the granddaughter, daughter, sister, or niece of an Alpha Xi Delta member in good standing. Where there are equivalent step- or half-relations resulting from blended or other non-traditional family structures, a young woman is considered a legacy if the Alpha Xi Delta member considers her to be one and asks that she be considered as a legacy on the Potential Member Profile.

Zeta:
Legacy: a potential member whose mother, sister, or grandmother is an alumnus or active member of that particular
national or international sorority

I thought Sigma Kappas was similar to AXiDs. (Although I could be very wrong).

My chapter had a member with a great legacy story to go with our more liberal policy. Her birth mother was an AXiD and her birth mother passed away when she was about 4. She does not remember her except in photos. Her birth mom had a wonderful set of sisters from her chapter who stepped in and basically helped her father raise her and her brother for their entire lives. She said she always had 5 mothers - all AXiDs. The father eventually married another woman, who had pledged AXiD in college, but never initiated. When she came through recruitment, she told this story and as incredible as it sounds, it completely checked out. She listed her legacy affiliation (her birth mom) on her recruitment form, but then also listed these 5 other women as very important people in her life - she knew their maiden names, initiation years and chapters. They all wrote her glowing recs.

After the member was initiated, the 5 women came to visit her and she brought them to the house and introduced them all as her "moms". It was a great story of sisterhood!

I don't think ours has been posted, but we also include "steps" and "adopteds". Our entire Legacy policy is online for anyone to see at http://tinyurl.com/3cpt7o9

I wish we included aunts, though.:o I'd love to pass my legacy through my nieces. They are already AOII legacies through their mother, but in my heart, they are my legacies, too.

In our chapter house had a composite from the 1970's that we did not put in storage because there was a girl on it whose name was Mary Christmas. I would have held a life long grudge against my parents if they had done that me...image the first day of school the teacher calls Mary Christmas and all the kids snicker.

Re legacy policies, I almost think a better idea would be to have each chapter adopt how far out they want to go. For example...XYZ at Ole Miss could probably fill 2 pledge classes worth with legacies - they might want to say a legacy is only mom or sister, period. But XYZ at Drexel probably isn't going to have that amount of legacies coming through, so they might want to say granddaughters/nieces are legacies too.

The problems with that, of course, are 1) uninformed sisters 2) pledging someplace where you are a legacy and trying to transfer someplace where you're not. There doesn't seem to be a good way to resolve it.

Purely off memory I believe it's the same. I don't think we mention 'adopted' specifically - and I don't know that there's a need to necessarily, who would exclude an adopted daughter? - but we do include 'steps.'

Pepper White is a proud KD. I'm not for sure where Tiger pledged. I think she went to Auburn.

Pepper is one of my favorite KD's. A very involved KD and a former National Officer. She is going get a kick out of this.

Thought I'd print out out the info from the K-State rush pamphlet so people can compare it if they want. NPC groups consider legacies as follows:

Alpha Chi Omega: sister, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother
Alpha Delta Pi: sister, mother, grandmother
Alpha Xi Delta: sister, mother, grandmother, aunts, step-relatives
Chi Omega: sister, mother
Delta Delta Delta: sister, mother, step-sister, step-mother
Gamma Phi Beta: sister, mother, grandmother, step-sister, step-mother Kappa Alpha Theta: sister, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother Kappa Delta: sister, mother, grandmother, step-sister, step-mother, half- relatives
Kappa Kappa Gamma: sister, mother, grandmother
Pi Beta Phi: sister, mother, grandmother
Sigma Kappa: sister, mother, grandmother, aunt, step-relatives
Zeta Tau Alpha: sister, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, aunts, step-relatives