Baisden is the man. :cool:

Just curious, who is Michael Baisden?

This might become my FB profile pic.

He's many things, but I think most people know him from his national radio show.

http://www.michaelbaisden.com/

Ya mama is a troll.

I feel you. People play to much on here.

I like Michael Baisden too. I bring him up often because he had a show about black women and their attitudes. He had a lot of black men calling in and telling him why they don't fuck with sistahs anymore. And I already have Jesus in my life, which why I understand the rules of the game of pimping. Thank you Jesus.

So you're going to take your own test?

I feel you, and you're absolutely right. Parents get to involved and give the wrong advice about who their kid wants to have a relationship with. I don't fuck with women who's parents are too involved. They prejudge too much.

I feel you, a lot of people don't fuck with gays, but I don’t mind gay women, though. Bi is always a good thing with them, especially with white women, because they will do the threesome. White women will do it all. They will do what a sistah won’t do. I even urinated on a white woman before. You’ve never heard of a golden shower? If you get a white woman, ask her can you give her a golden shower and watch her grin. Sistahs don’t play that shit, that’s why I don’t fuck with them. See, I could do a threesome all day long. But I always strap up. If I’m at work, and I’m fiendin’ for some ass, on my lunch hour, I get with this one honey I work with. I just remove the bread crumbs, tie a rubber band around, and strap up with the sandwich bags from my lunch. The bad thing is it has to be a quickie or my circulation will get cut off. The problem with you is you’re a doormat, basically. Nice, but a doormat. See, what you need is a white woman. A white woman would appreciate a mutha fucka like you. You can’t handle a sistah, unless you know the game, which is why she’s out fucking around on you when you’re not with her. Nice guys are too blind to see it. I’ve not always been a good guy, but I’ve always been a nice guy. Some of the women I’ve been with have made it hard to be a good guy, and it’s been hard for me to figure out how to navigate that. The solution was instead of being a good guy, I became a kind of prefab nice guy instead. What’s the difference? Well, plenty. Allow me to elaborate.

See, the difference between a good guy and a nice guy is that goodness just is. It’s organic and comes from within. You can’t learn it, buy it, or fake it. You know good peeps when you see them. See, the nice guy is accessorized and put on: his nicety is often a disguise, an overlay for a truly vile personality or a really sensitive soul. Sometimes the nice guy is really a good guy, trying too hard. And the good guy is the nice guy trying to protect himself from being hurt. I admit, they can be hard to spot. Like I said earlier, nice guys are blindly loyal even in the face of adversity, like Red Sox fans or cocker spaniels. See, a nice guy is the standard gentleman: he pays for lunches, pull out chairs. Buys flowers and candy. Writes corny, horny love notes. Walks girls to and from class. That guy is you and used to be me. See, I was respectful, in all the conventional ways. See, your problem is you’re masking insecurity and hoping to distract a woman so she can’t find it. A love puppy is head-over heels in love with the love Keith Sweat, Gerald Levert, Luther Vandross, and Al. B. Sure used to sing about. He is a nice guy gone crazy. Those are the kinds of men women dream about, so says the radio. See, love puppies find themselves eschewing common sense to go above and beyond to find, please and keep a woman. Women prefer love puppies over nice guys, although to most, the nomenclature is interchangeable. The aim, it seems, is always to turn a nice guy into a love puppy, because women think they long for a man who requires nothing but tries his damnedness to give them the world, who is prepared to work as many jobs, buy as many flowers, wash as many dishes, cook as many meals as he has to in order to make his woman happy. See, what you fail to realize, is a woman doesn’t really want a man like that. Because, that guy? Well, he’s not a man. This is why I question your manhood. And most times she is going to turn that love puppy into a dawg. See, nice guys are marks who give until they have nothing left to give anymore. Good guys keep their critical mind front and center and never give too much, to the point where there is an imbalance. You need to know the difference. If you were smart, you would use that niceness for playing the game. Hit me up so I can help you out.

You don't know who Michael Baisden is? You're one of those clueless white girls.

Bwahahaha. I HOPE you are joking. If not, you are a bigger idiot than I give you credit for. I'm not even going to touch what white women will do since we all know how you like to lump every woman of a race in one bucket.

What's wrong with that? I'd rather use a sandwich bag than nothing at all.

Misogynistic Troll is Misogynistic. Great "Nice Guy(TM)" comment though.

Munchkin03 likes this.

The "gay lifestyle" is as lame as the "black community."

Those are not analogous. "Gay lifestyle" implies that homosexuality is merely a conscious way to live your life. People tend not to say "heterosexual lifestyle" because they consider heterosexuality to be so innate and embedded in them that it isn't always a conscious choice.

ETA: Race is learned because we are not born as (insert race, ethnicity, culture). Although race becomes deeply embedded and less conscious through socialization, it still relies on conscious and subconscious reinforcement. That isn't the same thing as sexual orientation which, in its true form, is considered by many to not be learned, not be mostly a result of socialization, not be a choice of actions, and therefore not be about a lifestyle.

There is nothing lame about those who believe in the existence of the "Black community." It does not imply that every Black or African Diasporic person believes the same things or lives the exact same lifestyle. There are similarities even when there are differences. I am a proud member of the Black community which encompasses people of the African Diaspora across physical communities, across a diversity of experiences, and across a diversity of perspectives.

You already know that the "Black community" isn't the only "community" that has historic and present-day significance. "LGBT Community," "Gay Community," "Italian-American Community," are among the communities that are considered to exist by many people. Nothing lame about that.

/long post alert

^^^Beat me to it.

You caught me before my edit. :(

I'll catch your edit give me a moment.

I was reading some of the comments about parents being involved. I disagree, because your parents are your covering until you get married. It's just that they have better insight than you have (if you have parents who care about you). I mean, this might not always be to your liking, but it is always for your own good. This is true no matter what you think of them (provided that you have good parents). Your parents love you, they know you, and they want the best for you. Honestly, when it comes to choosing a mate, it's not brain surgery to figure out why their counsel in this area is invaluable. First of all, they are not in love with your significant other, so they can see him objectively. Second, they know and love you, so they are sensitive to what your needs are -what will work for you, and what will hinder you. So, when your parents speak on the matter of a mate, you need to listen to them instead of being dumb and relying on your own decisions.

I totally agree with PB. It's just that walking in friendship and learning about one another with no intimacy involved affords you the opportunity to learn about the character of a guy without having to make any snap decisions. It's just that once you've walked together for a while and realize that you share a lot on common, you create a bond, and then you'll naturally enter into courtship with the intention of solidifying a commitment. This is why I don't make impulsive decisions on whether a guy is for me upon our initial meeting. Chemistry isn't enough.

You do realize that not all parents have the best intentions in terms of their children's mates, right? Just look at the in-law venting thread. Do you think that the husbands of those GC women were "being dumb and relying on their [own] decisions?"

I've seen plenty of controlling fathers try to derail their daughters' relationships so they could be the only man in their lives. I've seen plenty of manipulative women do the same thing. People disown their children for whom they choose to love--for reasons as simple as race, religion, or socioeconomic factors. To say that they should just listen to whatever Mommy and Daddy tells them is naive, to say the least.

I said depending on what kind of parents you have. I'm speaking of wise parents. Good parents aren't controlling.

That's also a really general, and pretty naive, statement.

Parents who have been perfectly fine in raising upstanding citizens can go buckwild once it's evident that their daughter's about to marry some guy, go off to college, or exert their independence in some other way. I've seen it happen so many times. Luckily, they have been good parents in every other aspect of their child's lives, so their kids know how to make the right decisions.

Not really. I've seen the opposite too many times. If you prefer to follow your own decisions, then okay. I've always made the decision to heed good advice, and most of it came from my parents, my friends, and my pastor. It seems to work for me. Do what works for you.:)

I agree with the last part of your post, though.

I had great, wise parents who cared about me and my siblings deeply, and a primary way they showed this was by raising to us make our own decisions. I certainly never considered them as "covering" me until I got married (at age 27). What you describe was not my experience, nor would I want it to have been, nor do I want it to be my experience with my children.

I see what you're trying to say, but I frankly I think it's useless advice, especially on the internet. If this is how it is for you and your parents, great. But so much of what you assume about parents and their relationship with their children can vary widely, even among "good" and "wise" parents.

What is "covering?"

You said what I was trying to say a little better than I did. :)

Not every parental recommendation is always a good one, and often reflects the reality our parents grew up in. I'll use myself as an example, taking out the dating and relationship aspect. For the past few years, my father has been on me to buy a house. Despite what I've told him--that I live in the nation's priciest housing market and that I'm unmarried and childless and it doesn't make sense to buy anything right now when I don't know what my life will be like in 5 years--he keeps on pushing it. He means well, he really does, and he started a family in a time when that was what you did. So, while he's been a great father, his advice on that front is not so good for me. :D

Well, I wasn't giving advice, I was just posting my thoughts about what has worked for me. I agree with what's in bold. I guess it just depends on what has worked for you. This has always worked for me. My parents (before my dad passed) have never been controlling, they've always given me great advice (that I still follow) but still would let me make my own decisions. A lot of the decisions I make are based on the way they raised me, and so far, I haven't had any regrets.

Yep. Outside of relationships, my mom told me something similar to what your dad was telling you. When I was in my last year of vet school, she wanted me to do a traditional residency, so I could become a specialist faster. She doesn't know anything about vet medicine, so I made the decision to do a non-traditional residency, although it's going to take two years longer. However, I took the advice from a vet who knows what would be better for me. I just think it's important to listen to people who have been where I want to go.

If that's the case, then why so few first person pronouns?

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek (Post 2078469) I was reading some of the comments about parents being involved. I disagree, because your parents are your covering until you get married. It's just that they have better insight than you have (if you have parents who care about you). I mean, this might not always be to your liking, but it is always for your own good. This is true no matter what you think of them (provided that you have good parents). Your parents love you, they know you, and they want the best for you. Honestly, when it comes to choosing a mate, it's not brain surgery to figure out why their counsel in this area is invaluable. First of all, they are not in love with your significant other, so they can see him objectively. Second, they know and love you, so they are sensitive to what your needs are -what will work for you, and what will hinder you. So, when your parents speak on the matter of a mate, you need to listen to them instead of being dumb and relying on your own decisions.

Sorry, but the whole think reads like an observation on how it always is (with good parents) and should be, and that last sentence is clearly advice.

Like I said, if it works for you, great! But don't tell other people, even people with great parents, what they should or shouldn't be doing regarding their parents' advice. There are just way too many variables at play, and just because it works for you doesn't mean it works for others.

That's true, MC. This makes sense.:)

I agree w/ most of what PB said in the post you're referencing, but stopped short of co-signing his definitive wall between intimacy (however an individual defines it) and friendship that he seemed to draw.

Completely setting aside the OP's oddness on the issue, I think most relationships start somewhere closer to "boy-sees-girl, boy-likes-girl, they date and in the process the strength of their friendship leads to the cementing of a relationship." Put another way, I don't think I've ever dated anybody who was "strictly" a friend first. My romantic, or potential romantic interest in anyone that comes to mind, was the trigger to my active pursuit/engagement. The resultling rewardinga and satisfying friendship was/is something a wise person sees along the way.

CG, I understood what you were saying about "good parents" and the covering thing, but I think even your own subsequent posts on the matter (the professional advice vs. your parents' advice on the best route through vet school) confirmed that you know there is a point at which even "good parents" advice has to be set aside in favor of better advice from elsewhere.

But, in the main, I feel what you're saying. :)

So how many of these vulgar messages will POOPGuy be permitted to post before it gets banned?

I have given up on that question many months ago when harmless but annoying posters get banned, but constant offenders are able to continue to post.

Agreed. With this guy, it seems like his first few posts (expressing his offensive opinion about black women) were just about testing the water. When he got away with that, he continued on to degrade women across the spectrum, reserving his nastiest comments for black women.

I just don't know what to think about the lack of ban...

Hmmm... but he is showing up as banned. And has been for at least a couple hours. ??
No worries - he'll just create another account and bless us with a reincarnated presence later.

lol - I'm seeing him as banned now as well.

Perhaps POOPGuy1!

I agree with you, and this is an awesome, post. It’s just that I also agree with PB, because I don’t believe dating exist for mating (and intimacy doesn’t define that in all cases), as he said earlier, it exist for getting information. Kind of like a “go see.” It’s just that friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together. Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively if it comes to that. I don’t think it’s wrong if people choose to date, skipping friendship, because I’ve seen couples have a successful marriage after knowing each other for just a few months, but for most, it doesn’t always work that way. I mean, if you do date, I just think it’s important to use the time wisely to gather facts.

I see what your saying and I know friendship with an attractive woman can be difficult for a lot of men because no matter what a great guy he is, or how spiritual he is, the outside package will still be an important issue. It’s just that a significant part of a man’s makeup centers around the fact that he is moved but what he sees. So, I totally agree with you about “guy sees girl, guy likes girl,” and so on.:p I understand that men are moved by what they see, but I also believe a guy falls in love with a woman based on how he feels when he is with her, so friendship is very potent. It’s just that for me, I think it’s important to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. It’s like being of “like” kind. It just means that you’re compatible in many ways. You have a similar spiritual walk, you enjoy a lot of similar things. It’s just that it’s important to have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. I mean, there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, it’s just that like-minded people fare better together. After all, why do you have the friends you have? Because you share like interests and views, and when/if it comes to marriage, it’s one of the longest and most important friendships you will ever have. I agree with PB, because through a friendship, I can look at his decision making. I can also decide if he is unselfish, sensitive to the needs of others, and wise about the choices he makes, I can see what kind of friends he has, I can see what kind of relationship he has with his family, etc. and this all takes time, and time will always reveal whether or not a guy is compatible with me. Relationships, whether it’s romantic or not, are not about what any one party can get. It’s about what both parties have to give. I look for that same belief in a mate.

Tony, I see your point, and you are so right, it’s just that for me, the secret to getting the mate that I truly look for is hidden in his relationship with Christ. For me, my decisions for a mate are made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it’s made on an emotional one. I know it doesn’t work that way for others, but it works that way for me.

I agree with you about good parents, it’s just that when it came to my friends/romantic relationships my parents advice has always worked in my favor. My mom doesn’t know anything about vet medicine, so I look to advice from someone who does. My mom and dad had a successful marriage, and I’ve always wanted a healthy marriage like that, which is why I looked to their advice. And through the advice that they have given me, I’m able to make wise decisions myself. Like I was saying earlier, it's smart to get advice from someone who is or has been where I'm trying to go.

For the most part, I agree with you, I mean, I agree with most if not, all of your posts.:)

YAY Woohoo! :p

Hey guys, it's good you agree on things and all but it's still weird when you talk to each other and about each other as if you're not together.

I already said this, just differently.....

Here.:p

Actually, I think we're fairly similar in our thinking; it's just a matter of degree or maybe some terminology. "courtship" and "go sees" are just terms that are too constricting for me. (...otherwise, you've articulated most of my thoughts better and in more detail that I did.)

Obviously, a physical attraction is the first thing any of us sees (or not sees) about another person, but for me their compatibility factors (faith, personality, emotional depth, ability to have fun) all have to come to the fore pretty quickly (while we're dating/courting/go seeing :p ) if it would be anything more than a friendship.

Yep. I totally agree (he's gotta be a hottie, too.:p). More importantly, what's important to locate is not the person who "looks" like the person of our dreams, but the person who embodies the things we need in order to have a lasting and fulfilling relationship. The truth of the matter is that love responds to love, and sometimes you will be amazed to discover what love "looks" like.

When I was in school, sometimes some of my friends and I would talk about topics like this one, and everyone would just look at me like... ":confused:". I dunno, it's just that I won't select a mate the way a lot (most) people do (which is why I was single for so long :p). It's just that my selection process has to be different because my purpose for a relationship is different. I mean, I just think that if you (in general) don't know your purpose, you won't recognize the right partner.

eta: I guess my dating terminology can be kind of weird at times. Sometimes I just can't find the right words.:o