Have you discussed that with him? I would certainly hope that financial burden shouldn't fall only one partner, especially in a very long term relationship. Take turns every other month maybe?

I have always thought it should be free. As noted above, it's much more cost effective to cover birth control than to pay for a child for a lifetime!

I believe that partners should share expenses but consider whether he pays expenses, that benefit the both of you, that you do not pay.

Agreed. I was going to add that and couldn't figure out how to word it. Like, if he's popping $40 every time you go to the movies or out to dinner or.. $80 if you do both in one night, then he's contributing and feeding you!

I was wondering that. And, I'll stop there.

Eh. I just thought that people, especially women, should be happy about the possibility of preventing babies for free. Not arguing about it. If my verbage, which is always off, makes me anti-feminist, so be it.

Who caaares who caaaares just gimme free birth control! YEEEEES

LOL. That or more instrumental costs like groceries, house stuff, and even his own medical stuff that benefit the other partner.

There are different ways to views these topics. There are plenty of people (including many women) who feel as Elephant Walk does and are much better at expressing it. There are also perspectives that differ from ours and Elephant Walk's.

I agree with Ghostwriter about the "free" comment, but in a different way. As I understand the health care law, everyone who uses the system will have to pay to be part of it so women will be getting "free" birth control as part of the health care plan they have to buy. Right?

I didn't know there was such a vast array of birth control pills out there. The cynic in me says that it's probably going up to the government which birth control you get for "free". I can also see some people getting jealous and causing a stink that their blood pressure or diabetes medication isn't considered preventative.

No, I see the word "roof" and think the roof of a house. I see the word "woof" and I think about a dog's bark.

Has Ghostwriter posted in this thread?

Yes, but a lot of women are paying for their health insurance now (or at least a significant portion of the premium) and still have to pay $50 a month for birth control.

Actually, your insurer and your employer have a lot of say in what you can get at a low cost now. Insurers have formularies and only cover what is on their formulary. That's no different. Blood pressure and diabetes medication is currently covered by most people's insurance policies whereas birth control is not. It is assumed those will continue to be covered. Your employer has to purchase an extra birth control rider for your insurance to pay any part of birth control prescriptions.

Is this a Vagina Monologue?

You are teh one who is the vagina of the monologue!

Thank you! :)

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...0md7oMm9yi0pKA

that's messed up.

"our bagels are like vaginas: old and yeasty."

@ElephantWalk you shouldn't be against free birth control unless you're for having less sex.

I am also on seasonique and despite paying almost 6000$ for insurance a year (boss pays- thank goodness!!) I have a 2500$ deductible for everything including prescriptions:(.

+1

Although his troll-fu sucks, I'd rather a more principled argument and less predictable bullshit. But then the clothes hanger sealed my perpetual fuck off for him.

Have before. He takes it as a personal attack for some reason.
I've even said I'm quitting taking it and if that's happening then nothing's happening
Of course I know things happen so I'd be too nervous to go off it.

Well, we're not living in the same area right now anyways because I'm still finishing school, so I'm not a very expensive girlfriend really at this point.
Yes, he drives to see me (it's only a few hours and honestly isn't happening every week) & we usually go out to dinner (but I'm modest about choosing dinner options/price points -- I usually pick something that costs less than his unless it's like my birthday)

I don't know why he won't help pay for it though really. He's good about offering to pay for my dinner, or my movie when we actually do see each other (and sometimes I pay for us, out of respect that he drove all the way to see me, or whatever)

still. Sign me up on the petition for free birth control. At least for a certain age/income group or something. Like up to a certain age it's free & then beyond that age it takes into consideration income. Or something. It would solve a lot of unwanted pregnancies, abortions & stupid shows like Teen Mom.

/end rant

We have to be careful with this one. I think (due to many I know with such issues) and talking to some doctors, that being on birth control for years can cause infertility issues. One doctor I talked to suggested that we take long breaks without birth control pills from time to time. Just saying that free birth control is great but we all need to be educated.

And by the way, I've always thought birth control should be free. It's common sense to me.

Even the possibility is something women should be informed about.

I know someone who was on birth control for 20 years. She took a break to give her body a rest and assumed (definitely not based on doctor's orders) that her body had stored enough birth control that she couldn't get pregnant.

And then BOOM...PREGNANT.

^^^That. Allat.

ETA: Dang you, Phil. That was meant for Rhoyal but you got there too fast.

Excellent lambasting of the post. You and DrPhil are pretty much in the same boat, mentally.
Woah, talk about leaps of logic! I never said that providing people with preventative health care limits personal freedom. That's silly.

However, taking money at the barrel of a gun (the IRS/government is the gun) to give to other people is limiting personal freedom.

Of course.

However, I suppose my hypotheticals come with caveats. If we are to remove healthcare funding from the federal budget, we are to remove total government intervention in the market. The problem is that we get a little free-market one way...but no free-market in another similar instance.

For example, the banks were able to spend boundless amounts of money and hand-out tons of loans. An exhibition of free-market Austrian capitalism. Except, that in direct opposition to this was the fiat money system, the FDIC, and the federal reserve. These federal regulations and propping up systems created moral hazards creating a collapse. No moral hazards/no government intervention...a functioning market. But when the invisible hand is not allowed to work, it is a nightmare.

With that said, I'm advocating the removal of the federal intervention in the health-care market...but if we remove universal health care, we must remove the whole disgusting mess.

So when you talk about,

Which is created by a system propped up by the government, expounded by the fiat money system and welfare, you're going to have this mess. In spite of this consistent meddling by the federal government, the insurances still like preventative care. Insurance companies and companies that provide insurance love preventative care because it makes having you in their insurance cheaper. If they have a slavish devotion to quarterly earnings, they would have a slavish devotion to preventative measures which saves money. And they do. Do you really think that many corporations (including the one I work for) provide a gym because they want everyone to be skinny and hot?

No.

When you have a regulatory agency which consistently withholds drugs from the populace where it might be someone's last hope, where you have a federal government that prevents cheap drugs from other countries in order to support corporations (form of corporatism, eventual fascism), where you have a government who has now forced the populace to buy insurance (which again is another form of corporatism, eventual fascism) which in itself creates a terrible moral hazard and greatly increases the cost of care, and ultimately a government who props up a multiplicity of companies, you have a problem. The problems these last two or three decades have seen in regards to healthcare are not a result of a government hands-off approach, simply the opposite. The government has been too involved.

The Austrian Free-Market is compassion. The socialized market fakes compassion for power. Power over the powerless.

Oh yes, we definitely started with you and not the other way around.

Good luck with your hypotheticals.

Wow...it must feel really horrible to be in American in EW's head. All this forced tyranny that has been going on for decades...how can he stand it?

Hopefully he can't and will be escaping to a one-person island in the Pacific. Then he can talk shit with no risk of retort.

We can dream.

The "break" concept is from back in the day when there was only one hormone loaded pill that everyone took. Many of them nowadays are so low dose that this isn't an issue at all.

My boyfriend (the one w/ no money that I bitched about before) actually offered to help pay for my $2.50 pill packs, for crying out loud.

Is he worried that you're cheating because of the distance? It sounds like something other than $$ is involved here.

This makes me really sad. :(

It's pretty awkward, at least on face.

I definitely pay for half a shot every six months. It's (pretty much literally) the least I can do.

Sometimes things are about how we present it rather than the overall point.

For instance, if someone thinks you can afford to pay but want the other person to pay half simply as a matter of principle, it can seem silly and like you're trying too hard to prove a point. If it isn't like you all are negotiating the things that he pays for in your relationship, but are only discussing birth control costs, he may wonder "why is THIS the thing that you want to negotiate?"

That can spark annoyance and he can feel like you need to just continue paying as you've always done and find something else to complain about (depending on the tone of your conversations). Afterall, responding to his resistance by saying you'll stop taking it and therefore sex will stop (I assume), is a threat and ultimatum that you have yet to act on. Threats and ultimatums, especially those that you have yet to act on, tend not to work well in relationships. They work better on children.

(Some couples share these kinds of expensives and some couples don't. There's no right or wrong, it's just a matter of what the couple negotiates.)

I don't take hormonal birth control for several reasons, so it's a little more "equal" between live-in and I on who buys the condoms, but it does irk me that in a lot of ways guys see the pill as the woman's business, while reaping all the benefits of having a relationship with a woman on the pill.

ETA: I would agree with you somewhat, DrPhil, but in this case, it seems like she's really having a hard time scraping together the money for the copay. Of course, my threat would be "help me or I'm out" with a follow-through, but I don't pretend to know what works in all relationships. I think if I were on hormonal birth control and in a serious relationship, it would be a dealbreaker for me.

Right - I agree, that's why I went with the "on face" caveat (also I have problems committing to a position, as you all know). The context is everything. I also wanted to brag about being SuperBoyfriend - where's that London barrister douche when you need him?

I feel you.

The bolded works if you're prepared for him to say "peace out," not necessarily because he doesn't want to help you pay but because you suddenly became his parent.

I believe in a hiearchy of relationship concerns. Like you said, everyone/every couple has their own list and ranking of concerns.

Stop trying to impress me.

It's the best of the possible countries. I'm not terribly happy to be American but its better in terms of liberty than most countries. That's not really saying much though. It's mostly an expanding corporatist state with ever growing inklings of fascism.

And forced tyranny is redundant.

Poor baby. The fascists are hunting you. Go run and hide.

I'm totally for free birth control.

I remember when I started college, my dad had just started a new job with new insurance and my BCP wasn't covered, but Depo was. I started Depo.

A girl I went to high school with works for the AZ Legislature and she actually wrote and got a bill into the house and senate that required ALL forms of birth control for women to be covered by insurances in AZ. She did this because at the time not all birth control was covered but yet for some insurances Viagra was. She had a HUGE problem with that. Bill passed.

When I was on Depo my copay was $75, but I got the shot every 12 weeks. Now I'm on a generic BCP and I pay like $10 bucks a month. Even though it is only like $10 bucks, I'm a poor teacher, that 10 bucks can actually go a long way.

I don't really know what it's about. I wish I did. I have given him no circumstances to think I'm cheating on him ever. I just wouldn't do that.

Unless for some unknown reason he wants us to mess up our current plans by having a child out of wedlock. Hell, if that's the case, double the cost of my birth control and I'll live on ramen & saltines for every meal!

Idk. Might try to bring it up again if there's opportunity.

I try to tell so many people this. Teachers can survive on not enough time and barely enough money. Everyone I've tried to explain it to has just rolled their eyes at me.

And, my copay just went up to $12. Thank you NC.