I'm probably going to be sorry I'm even getting into this discussion, but...

Say you met a guy and found out he had a serious alcohol problem in his youth. He is now in AA, hasn't touched a drop in years, clean as a whistle. Would you consider that a "distraction" as well?

As far as guys who've had a lot of partners, two guys I knew in college who were both with a LOT of girls are now the most loving, devoted, happiest husbands and fathers you could ever meet. I think pretty much everyone envies their wives and would love to be in their position. The guys who were "nice guys" and had the same girlfriend all through college and didn't screw around a lot in general are the ones having the midlife crises and getting divorced and flirting on Facebook. It's kind of like getting a tan...it might look good now, but you pay for it when you hit 40. :)

To answer your first question, I believe people can turn their lives around. But for me, that just depends on where he is mentally and spiritually. If people are meant to be in our lives, they will return of their own volition.

In response to the second part, I agree with you. I know people like that too. No matter how in love you are, there is no such thing as a perfect trouble-free partnership.

Everyone has dealbreakers. This is why women and men should keep their number of sexual partners to themselves and instead focus on being mentally and physically "clean." Wrap it up, get STD checks, make sure you are not having sex because you feel emotionally deficient without sex. Handle all of that and you won't have to wear your sexual partners on your sleeve. How I feel about that doesn't change whether you have 1 sexual partner or 2,000 sexual partners.

That's why I think it's dumb when couples ask about each other's sexual partners. Men are more likely to ask this of women than the other way around.

Once you release personal information like number of sexual partners to others you are giving others the ability to judge and treat you accordingly. Don't want to be judged and treated a certain way? Give people no choice but to mind their own business. The fictional Samantha Jones gets the same response from me whether it's a woman or a man. That response is "shut up about it already, you're beginning to sound insecure rather than sexually liberated. Don't want people to frown, stop telling us about your sex."

Most guys I've dated don't get screened, and don't see the need to until I make it clear that won't fly with me. I don't know why that is. For the record, I've never asked a dude what his number is...in that particular case he was very proud of himself and made sure to tell me:rolleyes:.

I do it at least once a year. My policy is trust no one when it comes to my own safety.

This is an example of how different peoples' guidelines can be...for me the answer to question one would be yes, and it would be a dealbreaker. I'm betting for most people it wouldn't be, if he were clean and responsible for years. I'm far less likely to care who a guy has sex with (provided he doesn't have anything and is responsible about checking) than a past history of struggles with addiction, and I have my very concrete reasons for that. I've got a several friends that would flip it around and think I'm nuts to have the guidelines I do.

What works for one person doesn't work for everyone, that's for damn sure.

Okay since this thread hasn't died I will share.

I had a girl who was feeling me and we were cool, overhear me say something similar to what PB said (I was young then.) She made the confession once that in her youth she participated in a three-some.

So I ask, what would you have done after hearing that information?

Me personally, that wouldn't be any different than having multiple partners...provided they're clean and healthy and responsible (no patience for people that don't even have the sense to go buy a condom at the drug store). However I'm a girl (so it's a flipped scenario)...and while threesomes aren't my scene, I've dated a couple of people that had had one. As long as they don't expect me to do the same, whatever.

I would have filed it for later, used it against her to leverage a 3-way for ourselves, then secretly held it against her for years (because my own insecurity proved unassuaged by putting myself into the position I disliked). After years, it would bubble up, mostly in passive-aggressive bullshit. Eventually, it would boil over and cause a messy divorce, needlessly affecting the lives of our young children.

Or did you mean, what would I do right that second?

I just spat water all over my computer. :D :D :D

lol
what happened with the girl? Did you two get together?

No but not for that reason.

Am I the only person who's reminded of Chasing Amy?

This is so particularly important in open relationships, too. It doesn't matter that I trust everyone completely, it's still important to protect one's own health.
Asked her for details over dinner/drinks? I'm so obviously bad at judging.

*golf clap*

I award you the Most Honest Post on GreekChat Award.

Virgins are unicorns. You can look but don't you hump.

http://content6.flixster.com/questio...097468_std.jpg

I'll just say....

I won't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on.

But would you buy a pair that had been worn hard by every other person in a 12 county radius?

What the fuck do you care if they fit your feet.

Troll.

If the shoes were still in good nick, and comfortable - why not?

What on Earth does 'worn hard' even mean?

Sometimes you can make sweet, gentle, tender, sensitive steps in your shoes, and other times you're running through the mud. But it's awkward as hell to assume I'm wearing them hard - what if my toes don't even hit the end? What if I use proper odor-absorption powders? Maybe I condition them properly, or have the cobbler come around after-hours?

Are these additional shitty shoe metaphors doing anything for you? Because they suck. All of them. You got her point.

I blame IrishLake for this. LOL.

Example A why argument by analogy is considered a logical fallacy.

And I've always heard the expression "rode hard and put up wet", but never "worn hard". Of course, the former is based on horses, and the latter - shoes?

Envisioning Rob taking sweet, gentle, tender, sensitive steps = mass LOLs.

Stop making me love you, asshole. I feel like I'm cheating on MysticCat.

Speaking of, where the heck is our GCassanova? He's been MIA for a minute.

I'm still here.

Oh. Y'all are talking about...

*walks away*

Sorry I'm not part of the caramel brigade. I know too much about your personal life, Mr. "I woke up on the floor nakies!"

Ohhhhh, MysticCatttttttt...you got some 'xplainin' to doooooo.... :mad:

^ Wrong thread, my dear! (I think!)

As far as I know, the kids are still virgins, so they're germane here too.

LOVE you!

I want to have sex with someone before I marry them =/= I want to have sex with someone who has banged everything that breathes

Reading comprehension fail.

YEP - wrong thread. That'll teach me to try and post quickly between classes!

Not really. :confused: The two aforementioned opinions on the subject weren't directly correlating with each other yet both were still relevant enough to be expressed in the same conversation. So the same goes for the analogies.

I saw it more of a "But what if the situation was like this?" rather than a "This is what you really mean because they're both the same." :shrug:

/Captain of the caramel brigade wishes he'd wake up on my floor nekkid.

*snorts*

*spanks k_s

*pops, twerks, backs that thing up*

lol....


What was this thread about again?