GreekChat.com Forums - I NEED ADVICE!! PLEASE!!!

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- - I NEED ADVICE!! PLEASE!!! (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=117878)

Quote:

Originally Posted by BemoreLXA (Post 2022207)

First of all, I don't see how one chapter being suspended is not a good excuse to not meet with some of the brothers. I'm not going to rush a suspended fraternity and be "initiated" underground I only skipped one and thats because they only had 4 members and aren't very involved on campus. It may have been a poor decision, it may not have been. I really won't know because I joined Lambda Chi. Its worked out pretty well though.

Overall, I really disagree with you about having to meet with every fraternity. We don't have rules like formal recruitment and I think thats a good thing. If you only want to meet with one or two organizations, I see nothing wrong with that because its my choice. If I don't want to meet with XYZ because I see them all acting like assholes at the local bar, thats my decision. You know?

Which is exactly why nothing you're saying applies to this thread.

I completely agree with you. Honestly, no one should take my advice since its probably poor. I am willing to admit that. I never said my advice was any good haha

Quote:

Originally Posted by vicplemm (Post 2021866)

I go to a small school and there are only 5 sororities. DZ, KD, DG, Theta Phi, and Phi Sig. I did fall recruitment and ended up leaving early because i felt really pressured and unsure of what i wanted. plus i had my heart set on one sorority i didnt get an invite to the next round from. I had my heart set on that one and wasn't ready to make a decision about a sorority i wasnt even considering. With all that being said, i really wish i had taken a bid from the other sorority. This campus is very greek oriented. everyone is greek. I want to make more friends and it seems the only answer is greek. Only two sororities are doing spring recruitment and i'm not sure if i'd be happy at either of them. The girls were nice but idk how much we actually had in common. Should i wait til fall again and try for the sororities i wanted or settle for one of the other two? I'm not a snob i just want to make sure i'm happy. Also I think a big factor in not getting my invite for the next round was my GPA in high school. I was really sick my senior year and had to school from the hospital most of the year. This year so far I have a 3.933. When checking GPA during recruitment as a sophomore, do they check high school or just college? if its just college i feel like i would do much better. I know this a lot of random info i just really need help. spring recruitment for one of the sororities i didnt absolutlely love is tonight and i cant decide if i should go. :confused::confused::confused::confused:

Thanks!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by vicplemm (Post 2021880)

its not that i didnt consider every chapter. that was poor word choice. i considered every chapter when i got there, but after spending 3 nights with every chapter it was clear to me that two of them were a good fit for me. i felt uncomfortable in the other chapters and the conversations were awkward. i got along instantly in two of the other chapters. and i left on pref night. and my HS GPA was 3.3. And no offense, but you are a bit judgmental for someone calling me a snob. Take your own advice and give everyone a chance.

Quote:

Originally Posted by vicplemm (Post 2021883)

im willing to go to any sorority right now i just dont want to get stuck just because i want to be greek. when i could wait til next year and have more options.

You don't have a clue why you were cut and no one in the chapters is going to be able and/or willing to tell you. You don't know if you will have more options next year. Even at less competitive schools, particularly small ones with a strong Greek life where everyone knows everyone, sophomores and particularly re-rushers have even fewer options. Your "top" groups already rejected you and you rejected the "bottom" ones so they all have probably formed an opinion about you. It also looks like everyone (except possibly for one group whose results weren't reported here) made quota during formal too, so there may be very few spots available in those "imperfect" groups. Recruitment is a mutual selection process, but the sororities are definitely driving your car now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BemoreLXA (Post 2022207)

First of all, I don't see how one chapter being suspended is not a good excuse to not meet with some of the brothers. I'm not going to rush a suspended fraternity and be "initiated" underground I only skipped one and thats because they only had 4 members and aren't very involved on campus. It may have been a poor decision, it may not have been. I really won't know because I joined Lambda Chi. Its worked out pretty well though.

Overall, I really disagree with you about having to meet with every fraternity. We don't have rules like formal recruitment and I think thats a good thing. If you only want to meet with one or two organizations, I see nothing wrong with that because its my choice. If I don't want to meet with XYZ because I see them all acting like assholes at the local bar, thats my decision. You know?

Fraternity recruitment is NOTHING like sorority recruitment. We have a million and one rules to follow. Fraternities basically have none. They can give bids to as many or as few as they want. We are limited by quotas and totals and rules about who we have to see during each round of recruitment. You have no place giving any kind of advice here. Stop typing for the sake of hearing yourself type.

If I had stuck with the "XYZ or nothing" attitude I had at the beginning of rush, I never would have discovered the incredible sisterhood that I am now a part of. Looking back, it's hard to believe I ever wanted to be an XYZ. Well I have NO idea if this applies to fraternity rush, I do know that, for my NPC rush, had I not kept an open mind when I got my bid, I would have missed out on so much in college!

Quote:

Originally Posted by BemoreLXA (Post 2022160)

If a woman says she will be in "ABC sorority or nothing", I can understand that. That is a feeling that can transcend gender. So if a PNM drops out of recruitment when she is cut by ABC or XYZ, I don't feel ill will towards her. I understand.

You don't think there are women who would rather be independent than be affiliated with their second or third choice? Thats the point I'm trying to drive at. If the OP feels this way, more power to her

Of course that happens, but NPC sorority women try not to encourage/enable/glorify the "ABC or nothing" mentality among PNMs. Every chapter has members who find value in their chapter, regardless of "tier", otherwise, there would be no "bottom tier" chapters. Most women find that they would fit in at many, not necessarily all, chapters at their school, instead of just one...when they keep an open mind. And then there's the self-awareness aspect. PLENTY of people think they're "top tier" material...but they're not.

OP: if I were you, I would wait until fall. Just from what you've told us, I feel like, should you rush spring and get/take a bid, you may always look at the other two and say "what if", which is one of the worst feelings in the world (and totally unfair to the sorority you'd be in)!! Rush fall open minded and see where it takes you so you know you exhausted all your options.

I know some girls at my school who dropped pref last year, re-rushed this year, and are utterly in love with the sorority they are in. Some even got their top choice from last year (that's not to get your hopes up, because it's a very rare occasion!). The moral is, I don't think you should limit yourself if you're still not sure of what you want.

If you should rush and get a sorority you're unsure of still, STICK WITH IT, because they could always win you over the more you get to know them and it's not like you're bound to them forever (before initiation that is hehe).

On another note, I think one of the big reasons you may have come off as snobby is because you asked if you should "settle" for the other 2. That word has a pretty negative connotation and you really shouldn't think of it as settling, because I'm sure those chapters have some amazing girls in it. Not preaching, just saying! :)

Good luck!!