My question is: how exactly is a PNM put in a bad situation by a parent who does not post their name, identifying information, or make stupid "that house must be skanks because they dropped my baby blah blah blah" comments?

I dislike the discouraging of parents who might legitimate questions or are excited for their PNM.

How is a PNM helped by having a minute by minute update of her recruitment on the internet even if you think* she cannot be identified. How is the parent even helped by that? There's looking for support and then there's recruitment threads. The two have been and continue to be very different on GC.

*And that assumption has been wrong very frequently.

To sum up your post: in your opinion these threads are pointless. Many people feel differently. I personally don't give a damn either way, but am happy for people that are excited enough to come talk about it and dislike the vehement and cutting remarks towards people who do wish to share. Again, more power to them. If they hurt themselves, that's on them...and it's a drawback of everything from this to facebook.

No one has to hear any "innermost thoughts" if they don't want to. I think I've read 2.5 of these types of threads the entire time I've been here.

Because she is excited and wants to talk about it? Why does it have to be a therapy session? It can be nothing more than excited individuals wishing to share and finding tips/advice on the fly.

Furthermore why does it matter? Again, if they mess up, that's on them. Otherwise, it is an entertaining read for some and possibly an outlet for restless PNMs/parents. So what?

You seem to enjoy stating the obvious and missing the point at the same time. Par for the course for you, hmm?

Glad you're white knighting the happy silent majority on GC who hate "cutting remarks" and enjoy happy fun recruitment threads.

GC should stop encouraging recruitment threads. They're a bad idea for everyone involved. And I will also note, since it was deleted from this thread before, that many of the posters pulling for parent posted threads are parents who have posted one or MANY threads for their own children. Moderators included. Funny that when the mods are criticized for the things they've posted in recruitment threads, they delete the posts involved - I'm speaking about carnation specifically here - and yet they post here about how gee, it's totally cool for parents to post. You know, just be more careful than they were, or something.

It's hypocritical and a circle jerk.

This is your favorite phrase. LOL. Overstating the obvious.

I hope the moderators don't edit or close this thread. Let discourse be as it is.

Just as much as stooping to insults or snotty remarks is par for the course for you. I don't feel like putting up with it today.

I am not missing the point at all. The point is, you don't like these threads. You think they're a bad idea and a waste of time. Of course, the point is also that not everyone feels that way. They are allowed. If people wish to share, great. If they screw themselves over, that sucks. IMO it's not "our" responsibility to babysit.

Actually, constantly (versus when the context is appropriate) reminding people that something is their opinion and not everyone shares their opinion is extremely insulting and snotty whether done on GC or in real life. It assumes that people are presenting their opinion as the truth or speaking generally rather than individually. Bad assumption.

Alumiyum and some others don't mind the threads, some others don't like the threads, and there are others sitting on the fence. That reality of difference of opinions never ends a discussion unless people just get tired of discussing. LOL.

I find referring to recruitment threads as "circle jerks"/"mental masturbation", PNMs as dumb, parents who post as helicopter parents, personal insults, and the assumption that recruitment threads have nothing at all to contribute to be extremely insulting and snotty. We all have our pet peeves and such.

Pretty much everything Drolefille, myself, and others have posted on the topic can be summed up in the bolded of your post.

That's why "insulting" and "snotty" are subjective.

Keep the party going. :)

Too late.

There were 2 threads a looooooong time ago from girls going to Cali schools where they described the clothes they were wearing. Those were fun to read because they both wrote really well. I could have given a rat's rump where they actually ended up joining.

But yeah, the multiple linkage is boring.

My advice to women who want to write a recruitment story: if you're doing it to work out your emotions and feelings and confusion as you go through rush, use this

http://images.bizrate.com/resize?sq=300&uid=1563979752

not this

http://laptopbrandsite.com/images/in...ge_laptop.jpeg.

You're not going to figure out what you truly feel if you're censoring yourself on GC.

True to a point but people ask about schools who haven't gotten accepted yet, like myself. And I agree about the search tool but in all honesty I dont go back more than three to four pages worth of threads.

90% of the threads start with "I'll be enrolling at University of State in the fall, and ____"

And the information is out there. If a PNM doesn't take the time to look for it, she can't expect GC to do it for her.

As long as you search first...it's true that in some cases there might be a thread, but it's three or four years old and might not be relevant now. Many of the questions that are asked have been answered already pretty recently, but there are definitely times when you need information that isn't there. That's when you ask.

True. Ive also noticed that some threads pop up if a certain word is in the thread on page 6 of 22. I tend to skip those. Whoops?

You should be able to search on thread title only.

Really, it's okay to ask questions. We all know that the GL website isn't always totally truthful when it comes to things like recs and outfits. I think the examples given above were good ones, and in my mind, it boils down to the difference between "I have questions about rush at XXX University" and "I have questions about MY rush at XXX University".

Right. Its not important to me what sorority is most popular, or who likes blondes.. yadda yadda. What important is I find the right one for me.

I created a Search how to.

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh....php?p=2010891

Ive been a lurker for a while now. I know how to use the search. As much as certain people preach and preach about the search function.. some just dont get it. Rather than writing back snippity, snarky, and sometimes bitchy comments to those don't search, how about they just dont get a response. Let them figure it out themselves.

Thanks. I appreciate the comments. I still think the search thread is useful.

For the most part, I found the recruitment stories on here really helpful when I was a PNM. Granted, some of them get rediculous and it's obvious that the person witing it is only looking for sympathy, but with most of them I really identified with the girl and reading about her recruitment helped me prepare. By the time I was going through, I had read about it many, many times, to the point that it felt like I had done it already -- for me, that was huge in helping me feel prepared and not panicked.
There's certainly a right way and a wrong way to do it. Identifying your school/the sororities/yourself is probably going to come back to bite you, no matter how positive your comments are. But honestly, if someone wants to share their story on here for someone to read in the future, I see nothing wrong with it.

When I was in sorority in the 80's I simply don't recall recruitment being as complex as it seems now. Maybe that is because in the information age, it is possible the influx of information and who knows who, etc, via Facebook pollutes the process. Because of what I perceive to be a different type of recruitment going on, I have personally found the recruitment threads helpful to know what I can expect my daughter to be going through. And that is not important because I want to live through her, but because when Moms that have very close relationships with their daugters, its nice to know what is going on when the daughters look to their mothers for guidance and support. Allthough my daughter has read many recruitment threads and we have discussed them extensively, (always stressing "open mind") I am not so sure she would sit down and write out her thoughts and feelings on a recruitment thread. And certainly as a parent I have no problem not posting a recruitment thread if it is damaging to the child. In my social circles, 99% of my friends are actively involved in our children's lives. Are we helicopters? I don't think so. I consider myself more of a cruise director. I make sure things are on schedule, but it's not my job to do the limbo or decided what each child choices to do.

I don't think rush is more complex than it was back then - just that the rules are being followed more stringently. In the 80s Greek life was huge and popular and there were more than enough PNMs to go around - at ALL schools. So no one was going to bitch if a group was paying more attention to a PNM than they should, or something of the like. Then in the 90s it swung the other way - Greek life was no longer the "in" thing to do and chapters started dropping off membership wise and closing left and right. This is when they really started cracking down on things like bid promising and pre-rush contact. The national groups realized some of the things that Chapter A did at UT were hurting Chapter B at LSU. Hypocritical? Of course. But that's basically what happened.

It also costs a lot more to run a national group today - in terms of services, housing, and risk management insurance.

So that's where some of the moms don't get it. Yes, I know you got away with it then. You can't now.

There was a mom on here who was from one of the smaller national groups and went to a small school and whose daughter went to Arizona or someplace like that. She couldn't understand why DD didn't get a bid. As different as her school and her daughter's school were, I don't know why on earth she assumed rush would be the same. That's the other kind of cluelessness.

I know that most parents, if they're told "hey, you need to not talk in such detail about Lindsay's rush" will follow that directive. I guess what a lot of people don't get is what's going on in a parent's head - a parent who hasn't grown up with the internet - that compels them to have the idea to share this with the entire world at all.

Now now, DrPhil, that is just your opinion you know.

Yes, while there have been some bright points of light in an otherwise dismal or drama filled field I agree with this sentiment. For PNMs and parents a like.

Kind of like how this was a bitchy response following several really helpful comments? Maybe next time you just shouldn't have posted at all.


Have we had very stupid PNMs? Yes. Have we had PNMs who were smart yet incredibly boring? Yes. Have we had helicopter parents? Oh yes. None of that is assumption or insulting it is fact. Never did I say all of these things were true of every PNM, but that these things were true of recruitment threads in general.

So you were insulted over nothing. Unless the use of a masturbatory metaphor is itself insulting to you, despite the fact that it is SPOT ON what happens in those threads.

Oh no, you're not putting up with my reign of eTerror. Whatever. Will. I . do. Now.

I'm really glad you let me know it was your opinion though, I wouldn't have known otherwise. In my opinion, you don't know how to have a discussion that isn't about the weather as every time you're involved in one, you look ridiculous.

Oh wait, that was snotty and insulting. Luckily I prefaced it with the fact that it was only my opinion.

http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/6044/340x7090446.jpg

My comment was not meant to be bitchy and that was posted after I saw the search thread response by Jen. In no way did I mean it to come off that way. Last time I checked GC was open to whoever and whatever wants to be said.

Then why would you tell people not to say snarky, bitchy responses?

It's like the irony went WOOOOOSH.

I didnt tell them not to, there are some very forward women on this website. Its inevitable. Opinions will clash. I could care less whats said to others on here, most of it is none of my business anyway. I was just suggesting that rather than wasting your time preaching about the search button say nothing at all but I think some get satisfaction out of the bitchiness, but by all means. I'm ready for the bitchiness to be flung at me for this statement.

This is the part where you should stop posting. You are precariously close to annoying or downright offending the people who are trying to help you.

Likewise Regina.George. And like whoever said earlier or maybe in another thread, whats annoying or offensive to you might not be to another. Someone else can make a comment and I cant?

p.s totally random but I just watched mean girls the other day and it reminded me how I really liked lindsay lohan pre rehab stints and drug busts.

1. By all means, comment all you want. It's a discussion board, after all. However,...

2. Not all of us are PNMs looking for advice about recruitment at a specific university. What I say here is not going to affect me as much as what you say will affect you.

But those people aren't sophomore transfer students looking to rush at a small school like TCU. They're the people who can make sure that doesn't go so well. Which is what this thread started out being about. Capeche?

TCU is not quite as small as it seems, and if someone can identify me by just my sophmore standing then they must be some serious creepers. If someone wants make sure my rush experience ends before it begins then I cant stop them. I'm going to assume that wasn't meant to "scare" me. It was my opinion on the situation, I am allowed to express that opinion. You don't have to agree and thats fine. Its not like I'm forcing it on all of Greek Chat. I was making an observation.

QFP.

Lol, sorry ladies. Thanks though, I had a long night at work and this kind of made me laugh. We can get so worked up over a discussion board and what someone on the other side of the country said. C'est la vie right?

Others were giving their opinions as well. You can't ask people to respect your opinion while dismissing others' as bitchy.

It doesn't seem like you're getting the original point of this thread :shrug:


Or on the other side of the Metroplex. That's kind of the point. Be careful what you're saying because there are more people viewing this site than you think. Does the fact that they can affect your recruitment suck? Yes, but it happens.

No, I get it loud and clear. I'm nt asking for anything I just made an observation from my view. Sorry it got all kinds of crazy. I had no intention of coming off that way.

I know I know, Ive gotten quite a few PM's from those in the area. I'm well aware of that plus I've read other threads. I know not to reveal myself completely or make certain comments.

Chicago88 is backpedaling and trying to kiss ass after-the-fact. That's why she should've shut up in the first place, as someone advised her. Assuming that she is really what she claims to be, why would a PNM want to be so opinionated and involved on a GLO board? Just read and find the info that pertains to your circumstances.