GreekChat.com Forums - Hi! (transfer school, sorority chapter at new school?)

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- - Hi! (transfer school, sorority chapter at new school?) (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=115894)

I don't understand why you think it's so atrocious that a chapter choose not to let someone affiliate with them. It's their chapter and their choice, it wouldn't be right to force them to take anyone who shows up at their campus.

(Mary this is not directed at you at all. I'm sorry for everything you're going through)

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Originally Posted by RedRoseM.D. (Post 1984315)

I politely introduced myself, letting the people in the forum know what I do for a living and that I am an adviser. The fact that I stated that I am a pediatrician was not meant as on offense to anyone and I'm not quite sure why it would be taken as such?

No one took it as an offense. They took it as gratuitous and irrelevant to this discussion.

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FSUZeta: I read back over my messages and I did not in any way put down or talk negatively about Zeta, period.

Oh really?

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Originally Posted by RedRoseM.D. (Post 1984063)

Being an adviser for my own sorority and being familiar with recruitment and affiliation at a large school, I am deeply sorry Mary, sorry that Zeta would not allow you to affiliate, even on a probationary basis . . . . My understanding is that transfers do not count in chapter total, so the chapter's reason for not allowing you to affiliate is really perplexing to me.

In other words, you don't know anything about this situation other than what you've read in this thread, but you're perplexed enough to make judgments about how a chapter of sorority of which you're not a member does its business. (Do you even know whether acceptance on a probationary basis was an option for the chapter? It wouldn't be in my organization.)

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Look at it this way, if they did not allow you to affiliate, then you may not have felt comfortable with a group of girls who would take that kind of action against an initiated sister. Since we know it likely isn't a numbers issue and since they declined to offer you even a probationary period, I think it's safe to say that they didn't offer you your deserved level of respect as an initiated sister.

So according to you and based on your very limited information, it's "safe" to say that the sisters in this chapter didn't give her a chance or show her respect and are the kind of people she's better off without. There's really no other reasonable explanation. Really?

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And perhaps if you do run into some of the those who rejected you, they will then be mature enough to give you some respect.

Because apparently they were too immature to give her respect now?

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I know the issue about transferring to another school to affiliate with a desired chapter. I know that is annoying to some people. But that doesn't sound like it's the case here, and regardless, all chapters of a sorority should offer mutual respect and support to sisters.

And obviously the chapter in question here did not offer mutual respect and support to a sister. Nevermind that they followed the proper protocol for their own sorority.

You really don't see how these were very judgmental statements? You really don't think you put anyone in that chapter down, or see why anyone would think you were speaking negatively about Zeta and this particular chapter?

If you really hate to see people talking down to others, then perhaps you should stop doing it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat (Post 1984365)

...they followed the proper protocol for their own sorority.

MysticCat said it. AMEN.

Masterful response, as is your wont.

And gratuitous - I really love you for that word (but not in a weird way).

Finished!

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Originally Posted by kddani (Post 1984332)

Why is it okay for you to talk down to GC members, call people names, etc. while in the same breath chiding them for doing so as well? Pot, meet kettle.

And you don't? bullshit, meet horseshit.

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Originally Posted by christianboy (Post 1984393)

And you don't? bullshit, meet horseshit.

Oh no, a newly created sockpuppet with keyboard courage! I am so scared! :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedRoseM.D. (Post 1984315)

I'll start with ree-xi:
<snip>

I linked to this thread and was about to log off until I noticed how you and Barbie's rush skewered this girl re: her situation. Even if she is not telling the 'whole story' about her situation, Barbie's Rush, your responses were vapid at best but mostly cruel. It's a shame that that grown women would make such comments to a collegiate.
<snip>

I merely called out Barbie's rush for her cruel comments and now ree-xi.

Telling me to butt out is pretty consistent with the rest of your comments, Barbie's rush. This is an open forum and I hate to see people talking down to collegiate members or pnm's.

I just re-read my posts to the OP. I didn't skewer the OP, nor was I cruel. I never talked down to her. I'd ask you for evidence but of course, there is none.

I actually have a big heart and am very sensitive. However, I am direct and ask questions. People mistake directness as rude, and get defensive when questions are asked.

I ask direct questions so as to remove the emotional element from the situation and get to the business of the matter so that I can:
A. offer a perspective that the person may not see, or
B. offer suggestions as to how to resolve the situation (whether that be seeking help elsewhere, or moving on).

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 1984406)

I actually have a big heart and am very sensitive. However, I am direct and ask questions. People mistake directness as rude, and get defensive when questions are asked.

I ask direct questions so as to remove the emotional element from the situation and get to the business of the matter so that I can:
A. offer a perspective that the person may not see, or
B. offer suggestions as to how to resolve the situation (whether that be seeking help elsewhere, or moving on).

I knew there was something about you, ree-Xi. That's me too, and I get into "trouble" because I'm so direct. I've had to really work with the chapter that I advise to train them and reassure them that I am NOT mad. I am analytical and a thinker, not a "feeler" (despite being sensitive) and I'm asking questions not because they are in trouble or did anything wrong. My job is to solve problems quickly, not talk them to death.

Sometimes confidence (which I have a good amount of, always have, since I was a preschooler, I'm told) gets mistaken for something else. I'm still learning the fine arts of diplomacy and tact and how to "finesse" things. I'm a work in progress, what can I say?

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Originally Posted by AzTheta (Post 1984410)

LOL, the directness probably is a result of my education and experience in Journalism. It's directly contrary to my inborn tendency to react emotionally first (ask my family, they'll say I'm a drama queen). I honestly had to work at learning to think analytically, and when to use which side of my brain.

I really think that the situation that the OP sucks, but emotions aren't going to bring her to a solution. And by solution I don't necessarily mean "what she wants". I do hope that she finds peace in whatever does happen. The flip side of the sucky part is that she is part of a wonderful national organization for life - if she chooses to be.

Is it just me, or has the irony factor on GC skyrocketed recently (and not just because of my parody thread)?

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani (Post 1984398)

Oh no, a newly created sockpuppet with keyboard courage! I am so scared! :(

Not a sock. But you're a hypocrite.

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Originally Posted by christianboy (Post 1984435)

Not a sock. But you're a hypocrite.

Case in point....

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Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1984438)

Case in point....

STFU

You're going to be a clever one, aren't you? I can just see the wit oozing from your keyboard.

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Originally Posted by christianboy (Post 1984445)

STFU

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Originally Posted by christianboy (Post 1984445)

STFU

Please tell me that your parents named you Christian, and that your name is not a reflection on what you hope to be.

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Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1984450)

You're going to be a clever one, aren't you? I can just see the wit oozing from your keyboard.

Clever? WTF? You actually put thought in your posts? You're an idiot.

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Originally Posted by LaneSig (Post 1984453)

Please tell me that your parents named you Christian, and that your name is not a reflection on what you hope to be.

Did your parents name you Lanesig?

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Originally Posted by LaneSig (Post 1984453)

Please tell me that your parents named you Christian, and that your name is not a reflection on what you hope to be.

His parents named him Xanthus.

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Originally Posted by RedRoseM.D. (Post 1984315)

I'll start with ree-xi:

I politely introduced myself, letting the people in the forum know what I do for a living and that I am an adviser. The fact that I stated that I am a pediatrician was not meant as on offense to anyone and I'm not quite sure why it would be taken as such?

Regarding the thread, I found the website at the direction of another alum and I found another thread that had a link to this thread. I referenced it when I said that 'I know the issue about people rushing at one school and transferring to another school. I put that I know that is annoying to others'. There is a whole thread about that in greekchat currently and the fact that people are so bothered by girls doing that. I just acknowledged that. I didn't state in any way that I know anything about this chapter, whether it is desirable or not. That is catty and something I wouldn't try to speculate on.

I linked to this thread and was about to log off until I noticed how you and Barbie's rush skewered this girl re: her situation. Even if she is not telling the 'whole story' about her situation, Barbie's Rush, your responses were vapid at best but mostly cruel. It's a shame that that grown women would make such comments to a collegiate.

FSUZeta: I read back over my messages and I did not in any way put down or talk negatively about Zeta, period. I pointed out that if these girls chose not to give this girl a chance at affiliation, then perhaps she is better off not being a part of their group. That is completely honest on my part. Who would want to be in a group where she is not wanted? I went on to encourage her to give Zeta a second chance during her alum years and to try to get involved at that time and not hold it against the entire organization-the way she was treated by one chapter. Regardless of which npc we are discussing, I believe it is unfair for an affiliate to be blocked without even a chance of a probationary affiliation. That is my opinion and it is based on the premise of sisterhood and giving that woman a chance. The issue is not exclusive to Zeta by any means, as mentioned in the other forum.

I am new to greekchat, and I don't know how to post the link to the other forum but I believe it is in recruitment stories or at least under the recruitment tab. I try to give someone the benefit of the doubt and this girl was obviously voicing her hurt feelings about her interaction with that chapter. I logged on to offer her support, which I did, not to bash Zeta or other members, which I did not do. I merely called out Barbie's rush for her cruel comments and now ree-xi.

Telling me to butt out is pretty consistent with the rest of your comments, Barbie's rush. This is an open forum and I hate to see people talking down to collegiate members or pnm's.

Like I said, BUTT OUT. You are not remotely familiar with this situation. I am. I know what campus this is happening at and even who the OP is. What is being said here is not the truth and she posted here only to make the organization look bad by not telling the real story.

And you still haven't told us why your profession has any relevance to this or any other discussion on Greekchat.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 1984425)

The flip side of the sucky part is that she is part of a wonderful national organization for life - if she chooses to be.

Of all the comments on this thread, this is the one that I like most.

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Originally Posted by mary1510 (Post 1981222)

Hi!

hi also..