Just the fact that you are having a Chuck themed recruitment gets me so excited. I don't know a lot of people who love Chuck the way I do! Zachary Levi Pugh (sigh!)

You do now! I love Chuck, and really miss it. I can get it online, but it's really not the same. And that reminds me, I need to go in search of another season on disk.

I rarely get emotionally involved in recruitment stories after so many years of reading them. However, you have such a good attitude about recruitment, seem very down to earth and focused on making good choices for yourself and I find myself really hoping that you have a successful recruitment. In fact, I'm not liking that there is a three hour time difference here and by the time we can even find out your results, I will have to be sound asleep! The best of luck to you!

I appreciate all your support, I really do.


I just got back from my meeting with my RC. I was only invited back to Anna. I might as well let the cat out of the bag and say that Anna is Alpha Chi Omega. I'm happy that A Chi O still wants me to keep coming back, but at the same time, I'm really devastated. Every time I fall in love with a house, they cut me. I can't help but wonder what I did wrong when every time I'd walk out of a house feeling on top of the world, I'd only be cut later. I'm trying to keep telling myself that it's not really my fault, because there were SO many girls going through recruitment this year, but deep down I can't help but feel like I must have some huge flaw that I don't know about.

Like I've said before, I'm still not completely sold on AXO, and I am still planning to participate in informal recruitment. From my understanding, AXO usually participates in it, and the sister I was talking to yesterday told me that they graduated two huge senior classes the past two years, so I'm guessing they will be participating. I will attend pref, but in all likelihood, I will participate in informal recruitment with AXO, SDT, and also apparently ADChi, which is brand new here this year, plus any other houses that don't make quota (though I'm guessing most of them will).

Once again, I'd like to thank all of you for your support, I really truly appreciate it.

So did you drop out or are you going to pref?

A note about ADChi, they cater to a specific type of woman, which may or may not interest you. In other words, it's not a substitute for NPC sororities, just different.

I am going to pref, and my RC told me that if I sign a bid card, I am guaranteed a bid to AChiO, but I probably won't sign the bid card and will just participate in informal recruitment, unless AXO really blows me away. They're really great girls in Alpha Chi Omega, but I just can't see myself fitting in with them. I'm not sold enough yet, which is why I want to do informal recruitment and compare them with SDT (and maybe ADChi, though I'm not really that Christian).

From ADChi's National website, some of their membership requirements (full list linked--I have included ones that make them different from NPC sororities):

Personal acceptance of Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.
Active participation in Christian service.
Regular attendance or membership in an evangelical church or in some other church approved by the National Board.
Interest in leading others to Christ.
Willingness to avoid situations which would cause one’s sister or brother to stumble.
Willingness to abstain from sexual relations until marriage.
Willingness to abstain from smoking and illegal use of drugs.
Willingness to abstain from alcohol in circumstances where the Christian witness would be adversely affected.

haha yeah, I'm thinking that's not for me... thank you anyways!

You may feel differently after Preference. Another thing to keep in mind at Preference today is not just who the collegiate members are, but which other PNMs are also at that Pref. It sounds like AChiO at USC is in a phase of building its membership and what a lot of PNMs don't understand is that their new member class can completely change the dynamics of a chapter.

My own chapter, during the summer after I initiated, dropped in size drastically due to some strife among sisters who lived in our unofficial house. I never really knew what had gone on because I was so new. But I knew that we came back in the fall with 17 members when Total was 45 and we had been at 30 something when my class was Initiated. That fall, we took 19 new members and the chapter changed TOTALLY. Within a year, we were at Total and the chapter had done a complete turn around. I'm sure some of those 19 had reservations about joining our very small chapter, but they ended up essentially taking it over and making it into what they wanted it to be.

My point is, look around at the other PNMs and see if they are women you could develop sisterhood with as well.

kaeb,
Check your PM box. Thanks.
Fan

YES!! Totally agree with this post.

I am sending hugs somewhere across campus. I got cut from my favorite after thinking I really connected with the girl. But apparently something else was going on. I am sure you are an amazing girl and you will be happy whatever you do!

And remember, during recruitment you are comparing the houses to each other head to head. If you are invited and choose to pledge AChiO the comparisons to the other houses will pretty much cease. Go in as happy as you can, try to talk to the other PNMs and maybe you'll feel better about this. Good luck!

I also agree that a new member class can totally change a chapter, over the years I have seen chapters make drastic positive change with one new member class. Please give AXO a try, really look around at Pref.

There are many storied here on GC about women who were unsure that ended up LOVING their chapter. Just give it another chance.

Hugs to you

Thank you so much for all of your support. I really truly appreciate it.

I enjoyed A Chi O's pref, I really did, but I still didn't feel strongly enough about the house that I thought I could commit to it at this point in time. I talked to my rusher a little about it, and told her that I just wasn't sure enough about it, but I'm still interested, and she told me that they'd probably be doing COB. So I will definitely look into SDT and AXO (and any other chapters, if any exist, though I'm doubtful there will be very many) this coming week.


You may have thought you'd be done with this thread by tonight, but nooooooo sirree, there's still almost two weeks of informal recruitment left! I'm trusting that I'll ultimately end up where I belong, and hopefully I'll find my house (be it A Chi O or a new one) soon!

Again, thank you so much for all of your support, you have no clue how much it meant to me.

Oh, and the accident? When I was shaving on Friday, I guess it was, I don't know what happened, but my razorblade went crazy and I had a huge, bloody gash on my leg. It's since been Neosporin-ed and bandaged a few times, but I was thinking to myself, great, that's JUST the kind of impression I want to make on these women.

Hey, that makes you more memorable. There are so many girls going through, sometimes, all the names & faces run together. I still remember all the girls that were "different" (in a good way! :) )

Good luck with this upcoming week.

I'll let you know that I received a bid from AXO when it was the newest chapter on my campus. Was I hesitant? Sure. Being a part of something that wasn't established and had no reputation beyond being the "new" group was daunting. Was it hard? Very. We had to establish our own traditions and sometimes I feel like we put in a lot more work than other new members. In the end, though, I'm so glad I stuck it out. My sisters are the ones who have been constants in my life. I hope you are able to find that in whatever groups you look into this week, Alpha Chi or not :)

Thank you! :)

And I actually just randomly found out that my rusher from pref (and another day... house tours I think) is VP Continuous Recruitment. She mentioned something about someone being in charge of it when I told her, but it was so loud that I couldn't quite tell what she was saying, and then I was out the door. I'm definitely looking forward to this week. :) My Sig Delt friend at UT-Austin asked one of her alumna friends, and she's writing me a letter, too, which should be nice. :D I'm in a much better mood now than I was this morning.

I kind of hate recruitment for causing all of these crazy mood swings.

Do you mean a rec?

If it's only SDT, AXO and the Christian sorority participating (two of which you don't want), well, good luck with that. Do you know a lot of women in SDT to make you think that it would be a "better fit" than AXO? I'm just interested in your thought process.

It's not that I don't want AXO, it's just that I'm not sure enough yet to fully commit, which is why I want to take advantage of the informal recruitment process in order to learn more. I don't know any Greek women on campus, I didn't know anyone on campus before I came here (besides a sophomore spring admit with whom I went to summer camp), a factor that may have worked against me in formal recruitment. I want to look at SDT and AXO over this next week and a half and see what I think then. I'm not outright saying "no" to AXO, just "not right now." And yeah, I do mean a rec, I think they're called letters of reference too?

There's a difference between a recommendation form vs. letter of reference.

keep your head up, kaeb, you'll find a home somewhere :)

Oh and to everyone else, just fyi, I guess AXO has been at USC for a pretty long time. So it's not about being new (that would actually describe SDT perfectly though because they're brand new). And, unfortunately, due to the attitude of many PNMs I've encountered and tent-talk and what not, I think the odds of a group of freshmen with the potential to turn their reputation around wouldn't do it...sucks because every AXO i met was great

So apparently I haven't made it clear enough that I'm not turning down A Chi O?

I am not saying "No" to Alpha Chi Omega. I am just saying "not right now." I've read many times in this forum that joining a sorority is a huge commitment, and I want to be sure on a personal level that I'm joining the sorority that I think is best for me. Which is why I want to look at SDT and look further into AXO and hope that I find that one of them is the right house for me. If I find that neither is the right house for me, then I will remain unaffiliated. I would really love to be a part of greek life, but I want to be sure I'm making the right decision for me.

Im just curious..why are you going to COB for AXO when you had a chance to get a bid already? Im just confused on that part. Also, just because AXO is doing COB doesnt mean you will automatically get in just because you made it to pref round. There might be some girls that will feel offended and hurt that you turned them down during formal, and might choose not to give you a second chance. Just wanted to throw that in there so you know and dont give your hopes up.

With that said, good luck with COB, use that SDT rec for sure (was SDT Lester? Or did you get cut from them earlier?) and keep us updated :)

SDT did not do formal recruitment at USC this year. They are only participating in informal.

Ahh ok..you answered my question then..totally didnt see this when I posted.

Oh ok thanks

I'm going to SDT to get to know the sisters better. I tried to make it clear to my rusher today that it was a completely personal thing and that I don't feel at this point in time like I'm ready to accept a bid from them. I'm not counting on a bid, either, I'm going to go to their events and hopefully meet more girls and, if it comes up, rationally explain my reasons for not filling out a bid card.

I'm obviously quite biased here, but I don't think I'm in the wrong for not making a choice I wasn't prepared to make at that point in time. I believe in being fully committed to something when making a life-altering decision, and this is a life-altering decision. It's not fair to the women of the house to have me if I won't be happy, just as it's not fair to me to choose to be somewhere where I won't be happy. Which is why I want to make sure that I'll be happy there before I definitively and essentially irrevocably say yes or no.

I feel like the classic break-up phrase is applicable here: It's not you, it's me. It's not AXO, I have nothing against them at all, it's me. I want to be sure that I'm making the right decision. AXO is a great house for some people, and it might be a great house for me, but I feel like I need more information in order to determine that. So yes, I will take advantage of the fact that they do COB and use that as an opportunity to make a better-educated decision. I realize how lucky I am that I have this chance, and I don't want to ruin it.

I have a question for those of you who are questioning me and my decision. If you had only been offered a bid to a house you weren't completely sold on, what would you do? I just want to reiterate one more time that Alpha Chi Omega is a wonderful house full of outstanding women, but I want to be somewhere where I'm excited to be there. It was the same thing when I was applying to colleges--I was rejected by a lot of schools that "clicked" with me, and accepted by a few that I wasn't completely wild about, but finally accepted by a school that clicked with me and that I was so insanely excited to attend (and still am! :D). I'm looking for that in a sorority--somewhere where I feel a click and where I'm insanely excited to be a sister. If I don't find it, I'll be disappointed, but I'll live. I'd love to find that, though. And it could be with A Chi O or SDT.

kaeb, i've enjoyed following your recruitment story! i introduced myself to you this morning at pref :) i am glad that you are taking some time to think about things. i accepted a bid from SDT last year, and realized that they weren't the right house for me, but wasn't able to COB with any other house since i signed the MRABA agreement. the sigdelts are really wonderful girls and i think you will get along great with them. good luck with informal!

thank you! :)

You know best.

What DID I do? I decided that since Gamma Phi wanted me more than the other house I preffed, I would trust that they knew I would be a good fit. I pledged to do everything I could to live up to their faith in me. I made a commitment to the ideals of my sorority, and to my sisters, and I've had my life immeasureably enriched by being a part of my sorority. I know that the bid I accepted was a true gift - an entry into a fuller, richer life at college and beyond.

And what if I hadn't? I was certainly active in other campus groups - none of which have had near the impact on my life that Gamma Phi has.I can't imagine my life without my sisters, and the great women I've met through Alumnae Panhellenics. Can you have a successful college experience without sorority membership? Of course. Will it be all that it could be? I'd argue, no.

I would advise taking the bid. If a house is a clear, "no," then obviously you shouldn't. But if it's more in the, "I don't know" or "I'm not sure" range, then I would give the chapter the benefit of the doubt. At that point, the chapter can probably see a good fit better than you can. JMO

But having said that, you do have another option. We all have to live with our choices. I hope that it works out for you.

I don't know why this thread turned into a pile-on. What kaeb is doing makes perfect sense to me.

She went through a super emotional rush and is aware she may not have been fully open to accept something a great group (AXO) had to offer because her judgement was clouded by getting rejected by groups she thought liked her. She's not going to take a bid just because she can and take it away from someone who really wants it when she's still shellshocked and having doubts. If AXO has changed their minds about her in the intervening week, that's their decision, one that it sounds like kaeb would fully understand.

And I'm not saying this to be bitchy or mean or anything and I'm not trying to offend AXO, but when a chapter is struggling and they invite girls to events it doesn't necessarily mean they do it because they feel the girls are a "good fit." The chapters that she needs to give the "benefit of the doubt" are the ones who cut her because they feel she WOULDN'T have fit. If you can accept that their judgement is right it's easier to look at the options that you still have open.

I'm not judging - just sharing my very similar experience. I think giving AXO and SDT a closer look is a good strategy.

...you haven't seen my inbox (and I'm guessing 33girl hasn't either). From today alone I have some supportive messages (that I really really appreciate), and one really really toxic and hateful one.

I wouldn't quite call it a pile-on in this thread, but I have noticed some negativity directed towards me. I'm obviously way more sensitive to it right now than I would be normally. But I won't lie and say I'm not sick of extensively explaining the reasoning behind my decision every time I post anything and still being judged unkindly.