YES! I had a guy that I liked hurt my feelings doing this. He told me that I was acting White and the activities that I liked were those that "White people liked to do." The fool then told me that he would refer to me as "Crystal" from that point forward. I told him to enjoy his hobbies/interests alone. That's so rude. Ugh.

*If he consumes too many alcoholic beverages
*If he stares at another woman (or man) while with me.
*If we're at dinner and he starts complaining about the prices on the menu.
*If he says he doesn't have any friends, or only has female friends OR he believes that men and women can't be friends
*If he tells sexual jokes or talks about sex at all.
*This may be weird BUT, if he refers to me as sexy instead of saying you look nice/cute/beautiful.
*If he's cheap...expecially with himself!
*If he tries to kiss me.
*If he has a wet mouth.

...a wet mouth?

hehehe



*scribbles* Prettyface08 is an expensive date who doesn't kiss.

Sounds about right LOL

if you don't kiss me by the 3rd date or at least cop a feel, we are th'ough.

That's fine. I was only using you for the expensive dinners anyway! :rolleyes:

To go from this (particularly the bolded)
to this

is hypocritical, don'tcha think? So, he has to like (read: appreciate the fact that you like) black holes but you don't have to like (again, read: appreciate the fact that he likes) philosophy (or whatever subject is meaningful to him)? :rolleyes:

And fast food as a college job is no biggie in my opinion. If he has no plans past that philosophy degree then we have issues. If he has plans for grad school, law school, or a career then that's not a red flag.

:eek:
Wow, that guy deserves to be alone.

I've dated guys who would lie to me about their interest in my interests/hobbies, too.:rolleyes: I dunno, it's just that a lot of guys that I would go out with would tell me what they thought I wanted to hear, just so I would keep dating them. They would act like they really were interested in my hobbies, when they really weren't. And they didn't have to be, but I just think that if I'm showing or taking some interest in what he enjoys, he should do the same for me, even if it's just a little, and the last thing is please don't tell me what he thinks I want to hear.

lol
What do you mean by wet mouth? That's hilarious. What is that?

eta: and I totally agree about the alcohol. I don't like a lot of swearing, either.

:eek:

In addition to being on his Blackberry the entire time, his friend being rude after visiting the table to meet me (and then blowing me off), and making me feel like an alcoholic when I order one (1!!, and not even like some gigantic German stein or something, but a regular sized one)) beer, I knew it would be a bad first date when he left to use the restroom and said to me, "Please still be here when I get back." Why oh why didn't I leave then...

For me, "no goes" would be acting too forward (one guy tried to kiss me about 15 minutes in), talking about having children (with me) on the first date, talking shit about job, ex girlfriend, traffic, anything really.

Spending too much time looking at other people. Answering the phone within the first 15 minutes.

Not sharing plans ahead of time or asking what type of things I would like to do on a date.

Taking me to a seafood restaurant after not sharing plans ahead of time or asking what type of things I would like to do on a date. If he had, he would have known that I was allergic to shellfish and would be petrified to even try ANYTHING at the restaurant for fear that it was prepared in the same pan as the fried shrimp 5 minutes before.

Not referring to businesses by their actual name. This really bugs me a lot, especially when it's in a diminutive tone.

I'm not looking for a professional history on a first date. If I ask what you do, I expect to hear about your CURRENT job. This is a DATE, not an interview!

golddigger.

LOL

I once dated a guy whose nickname back home was "Satan" ... That should have been a red flag right there. :rolleyes: So basically, take heed of any questionable nicknames.

Both of these happened to me on a first date.

1. Not only talking about your ex, but saying that your ex 1. cheated on you and 2. was a druggie. And then you go on to tell me that you don't like wearing condoms and that you had unprotected sex quite often with above mentioned girlfriend.

Yeah, don't think so!

2. Not talking. I had a guy who couldn't carry on a simple conversation. It was like pulling teeth to get him to answer a simple question. It was the most uncomfortable dinner date in my life. I was nice and gave him a second date (thought maybe he would losen up). That didn't happen. I had to make a dash to the bathroom and convince my friend to call me back with an emergency so I could bow out early. (yeah, I know I'm mean, but I didn't want to tell this guy in a public place, "I'm going home, this date sucks".

Oh. Hell. No.

it's just so funny that cheerfulgreek said that- because i clearly remember in the unemployment thread that she felt that people that were unemployed should try to get a job any damn where. because hearing that you should take a job at "scrubway" and "burger slinger" is sooo encouraging. :rolleyes:

it's also hard to not take offense to the philosophy quote because one of my very close friends majored in philosophy in college and is doing quite well.

but, this must be another example of cg saying snotty shit then trying to pretend that she's the nicest person here on gc and is rising above us all by ignoring us calling her out. *done*

LOL. Leave cheerfulgreek alone. This thread is all about the subjective "signs of a bad date." I could critique what a lot of people typed if I felt like it.

Plus, we already know how she feels about certain things. LOL.

Sidebar/
I had a convo with a friend about the usefulness of an actual philosophy major/degree the other day. I said that philosophy is a component of many schools of thoughts/majors/degrees/fields/careers and I feel like philosophy should be the beginning of a discussion and not the end [philosophy---->philosophy]. I have philosophical discussions all the time but I did not know whether literally being a philosopher had great utility. That was my simplistic way of thinking (I was tie-red) and what I said can be and has been said for a number of fields, though. I would never be disrespectful toward someone with a bachelor's or graduate degree in philosophy. It is awesome in its own right and has utility. Like I said, philosophy's a component of many schools of thought and fields of expertise---even *gasp* some of the things that cheerfulgreek chooses to be interested in. :)
/Sidebar

her invisibility cloak is up so it doesn't matter. i'm not bothering her if there won't be a response. LOL :p

i think philosophy is an awesome field and def agree that it touches on many of the things cg would be interested in. philosophy seems to be on the "opposite end" of the spectrum of many things, like business- but sometimes its the perfect fit.

Is this a thread based on blind "dates" or someone you'd meet in a social setting? If I meet a young lady in a social setting, I pretty much can determine right then and there just from the conversation if there would even be a first date. So, I'll just make the assumption that it's based on a blind "date".

I don't really have a "list" of what would or wouldn't determine if there would be a 2nd date. For me, I also really don't like calling it a "date". I'd say more like hanging out, if anything. Of course the physical attraction has to be there. Other than that, I'm good, as long as she possesses the character and friendship qualities that I need in a long-term relationship. Also the spiritual commitment has to be the same, too, as well as family background, and shared values. I'll ask myself, would I pick her as a friend? If the answer is no, then there won't be a second "date".

I saw folks mentioning "interests and hobbies". For me, no, I may not have an interest in her hobbies, alone. Meaning, I wouldn't go out and enjoy those hobbies on my own, if I didn't have any interest in them. But it's not about her hobbies, for me, it's about seeing if she is a person that I would like spending time with if there were no romance at all. To me, that is the one true measure of a friend, a person with whom I like to spend time, having no regard to how we are spending it,--her hobbies or mine. Doesn't matter. The way I see it, I would want my best friends to be honest, faithful, spiritual, responsible, connecting, loving etc. So, those qualities also need to be present in her, too. If I don't see the first signs of any of this, then there won't be a 2nd date.

Everyone has got their own things they look for, but that's mine.

PB i thought you were gonna say ugly toes :D

So are you going to demand to see her feet if she's wearing closed-toed shoes? Just playing.

I've got a question for the ladies: What would you think if a guy took you on a date and it somehow came up that this was his first real date, even though he is almost 20?

Since I know you can tell from the question that that is my situation, I'll go ahead and admit it. Sure, I'm 19, just finished up freshmen year, am now a Kappa Sigma, and have many friends, both male and female, but I've never actually been on a date. Would that turn a girl off in any way, maybe making her think "Geez, this is his first date ever? What's wrong with this guy?"

So, if she said "Our waitress has a nice ass" then the second date is a no-go? lol. I thought guys were cool with women being able to see beauty in other women these days. lol.

There will not be a second date if...
*We run in to one or more of your exes. You know the spots where y'all hung out. Avoid them on the first date for the sake of awkwardness. If I meet two of your exes before dinner on the first date its a no go for the second.
*You have tats on your face.
*I have more chemistry with the server than I do with you.
*I enjoyed talking to the server about the days special more than our whole date.
*You're checking out the waiter just like I am. If we can agree that Brian the server has a nice ass we wont be dating again.
*you dont like sports (or you like the RedSucks and display it. You should be in the closet if you must be a RedSucks fan).
*You dont like black women.
*You dont speak english well enough to order food.
*You cant do arithmatic well enough to calculate the tip or worse...you dont tip.
*Everything you say comes with a disclaimer "this might sound crazy but" "I know this is the first date but"
*You are missing teeth. If you're over 21 and you dont have all of your teeth (or a very good reason like I lost them fighting in Iraq) I just cant date you.
*You have kids. Or someone is currently preggers by you.
*You wear hoop earings and refuse to not wear them again.

:D I just wait until the summer when she starts wearing flip flops. Plus, I wouldn't "demand" anything from her. Her toes/feet will eventually show over time spent. If she's got hammer toe, and/or it looks like she's been kickin' flour, then "just friends" we will remain. That is what we started out as, right?

At 19 I'd think you're a "late" bloomer. 19 isnt bad 39 thats a problem. And any girl who is stupid enough to think less of you because you've never been on a date isnt worth shyt any way. She should appreciate that youre going on a date with her and shouldnt be worried about your past.

There would be no 2nd date if our first date consisted of us going to a strip bar.

I don't think, at 19, that's a big deal. However, why would you feel compelled to even tell her that on a first date? I'm a lot older than you (like old enough to be your mom), but I don't think college has changed a ton in the dating arena. Dating was different in college. It was more like hanging out. Nobody had transportation or money so "dates" didn't happen like they do when you're in high school or when you're older. It would be more like going to the bar together when half the campus was there anyway or going to the football game and tailgating with the greeks, etc. Or, just hanging out in the dorms with each other, watching a movie, playing cards, etc.

LOL!! umm, how do I explain it, Hmmm. Have you ever known anyone whose mouth always seemed to have a little puddle around the bottom lip? It's kind of like drool but doesn't dribble down the chin just stays around the lip. Example: Diddy looks like he has a wet mouth. OR if the corners of their mouth is always wet, I can't do it. I can't kiss someone with all that excess saliva. Swallow sometimes! UGH lol

Well I'd rather be a late bloomer than a weirdo, that's for sure.

I understand what you're saying, but where I go to school, there isn't exactly much to do in-town other than go eat at a restaurant. I'm not saying I would bring it up by myself, just more of a "if it happened to come up", but I'm sure I'd be steering away from questions about previous dating anyway just because it seems like the polite thing to do. No one wants to talk about their previous dates (unless you've got some revelation about something) because they're on a date with you, and that's all that matters at that point in time.

YES!

I'm not saying I'm a golddigger, BUT.... LOL

LOL!! I've never been one to have someone call with an "emergency." That takes too much work. If it isn't working, it just isn't and I'll tell them so. It's not working so I think we should end this date. I don't need to waste my good free night time minutes having someone call to pretend to need me. I'm too grown for that.

If he stays/gets on the phone or checks text messages all night.

I had this one guy who was on the phone when I came into the restaurant and he stayed on the phone for about five minutes after I sat down at the table. The rest of the date was okay, but after that it was over before it started.

If he can't pull his own weight in terms of conversation. I have met guys who have practically had me falling asleep at the table.

I am not a fan of cursing either, certainly not when we are first getting to know each other, and not really at all. I haven't run into too many guys that will curse on the first date, but that would be a deal breaker.

One time, when I shared that it wasn't working, he stormed out of the restaurant and was going to leave me there. I now have a FakeCall app on my Droid that I can pre-set to "call" me, making it look like it's one of my kids. I do use it..lol.

I got a real phone call from my daughter on my first date with HD. He told me later he thought it was "the call" and was surprised that I dealt with her issue and didn't leave. The phone things all change once you have kids. You can't ignore calls from your kids, especially when they are home alone.

Do you really need a fake call to excuse yourself from a date? LOL.

True.

I think the first date breaker is in how people handle such calls.

I do it now because being honest about "I'm not feeling the chemistry that you seem to be feeling" resulted in a pretty violent reaction. When I say "stormed" out, I mean, slammed down his silverware on the table, got up and started to walk out. I threw money on the table for the waitress and ran to follow him. I got into his car to have him drive me back to my car (about a mile away). He drove like a total maniac and shoved me out of the car as soon as I opened the car door to get out. That one date made me never say that during the date and NEVER go anywhere in his car on the first date either. We live and learn :)