Holy shit, I'm going to chime in because I think you're just not getting it.

Being "best friends" or "close" or "buddies" with a handful of guys does NOT equal being good friends with the entire chapter or even being seen as someone they want in the chapter.

Did you ever stop to think that your "best friends" are tools-and you were guilty by association- which is why the chapter doesn't want to initiate you?

How old are these best friends you have? Are they older brothers who have pull in the chapter, or new guys that were just initiated and don't have rank?

Or maybe you never took the time out to really get to know the rest of the chapter because you thought you were automatically getting in because you live with a few brothers.

ETA: In some chapters it just takes a smaller percentage of negative votes to cut a pledge (not a majority or plurality).

Just because the brothers probably shook your hand (when you approached them first), were polite or respectful in public and probably had some small talk with you doesn't mean they wanted you as a brother.

There are chapters that are respectful and cordial to pledges they know will be dropped eventually.

Why they waited so long to drop you, I wouldn't know.

My best advice: move on.

I don't know what gave anyone the right to talk down to everyone on this site like you are all better than God. Barbie, I don't know what sorority you were in so as far as I know you were in the worst organization on campus, the smallest, or went to a non-competative school. Even if you were in the so called best with 400 girls in a hard sec rush whatever doesn't give you the right to talk like this some priviledged life that I failed to be accepted into.

You got dropped. Thus you did fail to get accepted into the fraternity.

You don't have to beat anything in my head. I should move on but really maybe for once in life it isn't that it was me who failed or it is my fault. I guess none of you have ever been screwed over and you get everything you want in life exactly how you wanted it. There is about 15 guys each grade level. It wasn't that I was so desperate to be their friends. I happen to live with 3 actives who have been members since 07 & 08. No, I can't explain why I am not in it when you would think I would be since I am close to the guys. That is why it was a big fucking deal to me! I didn't screw up and many did that were initiated but you know whatever lesson in life this was it SUCKS!

I really don't care if I failed to get into it. This doesn't mean I did anything wrong. It doesn't make you better than me. Whatever organization you are in doesn't make you superior to anyone. There is always a fraternity better than yours Vito or with guys who have more money. If you were the great great grandson of a founder that doesn't make you anymore special than anyone else.

It's been said before, but I think it bares repeating. Lets say you are really close with some of the brothers. Even so, a good friend does not necessarily a good Brother make. I have great friends who I love spending time with, that would not be a good fit for Psi U.


I never once said I was better then you. I love Psi U and am proud of it, but do not think it makes me better then anybody else. And just to let you know, I actually was a three time rush before I got my bid. So I know I'm not special.

Lets accept that you didn't do anything wrong and that it sucks and all that. What is important now is what you are going to do about it. Either you let it eat at you and continue to make yourself miserable or you move on and leave it behind. Unless you have a better idea I vote for move on and leave it behind.

I'm a newly initiated member of a fraternity and would love to give my input on the situation. We had a similar issue at our house, a certain pledge was a great person and knew tons of people within but certain people in the fraternity had issues with him hoping he would change/adapt to fit better but by the 7th week and nothing has change he was dropped. so this may not be in your control and like everyone says you should move on and allow time to play its role.

This sounds like women who hope men will change after they get married. We all know how well that goes. HAHAHAHAHA

What was it that he didn't "adapt" to? Was he just sort of a hanger on, or didn't show up for things, or what?

My chapter has a rule regarding this - "No projects." If they're not good enough when you're bid-voting they're not going to change in 8 weeks.

gmIII, you're right, this does suck. But its going to keep sucking if you wallow in it. Get up, find another fraternity for you, and live your life. The situation is all what you make of it, and right now you're making it suck.

I guess based on how most of you talk then by dad is a loser for not being Greek even though he is a vp at a health care company? I guess my mom failed at life for quitting DG even though she was panhellenic council representative and vp of recruitment? Being in a fraternity doesn't make you well liked or make a lot of money as a job. It is to make new friends and do some good in life and all of you have ruined that feeling. I am sure you aren't bad people but your attitudes on here is jusst about how special you are because you became something and how anyone who isn't like you is a failure.

Yes, your parents are losers which is why you are pathetic and so paranoid over others' opinions of you.

FYI, some of us were always better than you and Greekdom just added to it.

WTF? When did we say any of this? If you project these same feelings that everybody in Greekdom is arrogant and thinks they are better then everybody else, that might explain why you were dropped.

Seriously, gmIII. Stop being so defensive and reading so much crap into what everyone is posting. You came here for advice, and you are getting some great advice. No one is saying they are better than you or that you have to be Greek to be a "winner" at life. We have all assumed that you "want" to be Greek and have advised you to look elsewhere for that experience because Phi Kappa Tau is not going to work out for you. Don't get pissed off because we didn't tell you what you wanted to hear...you invited it when you said, "Fire away guys!"

http://www.freewebs.com/thewailingso...20projects.jpg


http://www.thechessdrum.net/headline...28chess%29.jpg
:(

In all likelihood, you will never know why you were dropped. Your experience is unfortunate, but not all that unusual. Fraternity pledges can and do get dropped at any point of the pledging process.

I tend to accept people at face value, so I wouldn't hold it against your friends. If I were in your position, I would choose to believe (barring other evidence) that my friends fought vigorously for me among their brothers, but were, for some reason, overruled.

If you want to rush another chapter, or chapters, I would go ahead and try it. Ask for your friends' opinions about whether this is likely to be successful on your particular campus. I might even ask them for recommendations about what chapter might be a good fit, and why, along with anything that you can do to add some polish to your overall presentation. Asking these types of questions might give you some interesting insights.

Keep in mind that fraternity men often have very good friends, even best friends, in other chapters.

Also keep in mind that you can have a wonderful college experience whether or not you are in a social fraternity. My opinion is, if your dream chapter turns you down, then become the BMOC that they WISH they could call their own.

ETA: Every life has its share of disappointments. If this is your first major disappointment, then you've had a pretty good start. Please trust me when I say that even the guys around you who seem to be living charmed lives will get their fair share (divorce, job loss, business reversals, health issues, or what have you.) People gain respect from others when they handle disappointments with grace and dignity. Hold your head up, believe in yourself, and move on.

I love this little boy!

Yeah he just lingered around and got on everyone's nerves.

Sorry to say this put I think you sound very cocky you keep saying I did nothing wrong I did nothing wrong. As other people have said shi*t happens move on. Also if the place were you pledged really tried to punish your big bro by dismissing you that is very stupid/low of them, but I don't think that was what happened. My advice to you I would say is if you really want to be in a fraternity you should just join another place and as you said you are friends with them so be friends with them and join another place. Honestly I don't think you are trying to get in to make friends but to say that you are in "that particular frat."

Look bro, if you wanna rush again, rush again.
No-one is going to stop you.

If the chapter you rushed is anything like the Phi Tau here, they wont restrict you from coming back to public events. You can also remain friends with the brothers, maybe even show up at the parties and all that good stuff.

Now for the bad news, you probably wont get a bid. I know it might sound unfair, but the brotherhood has decided. Never in the history of our house has an associate member been acceptedback after being removed from the pledge program.

But hey, maybe you'll get really lucky, who knows.

-PKT bro.