Bump. If you are a PNM, it's a good idea not to toss out your "recruitment wisdom" like candy. There are PNMs coming to this website who are trying their best to learn what they should be doing and you aren't helping by screwing them up. You aren't Greek.

Bump again. Are you offering recruitment advice and actually, you know no more about that school or chapter than my Shih Tzu does? Then this thread is directed at you.

It frustrates me when individuals give advice when they are not familiar with that campus. Leave it to those who attended the school, or are otherwise very familiar with the specific campus.

It is often difficult to understand a campus that differs from your own. I had a whole lot to learn when I moved to a regional position in my group as I had gone to BIG SEC school with houses. Places like GA State in downtown Atlanta and Tennessee with it's PH building were foreign to me. Then I spent 30 years advising in different capacities (even Greek Adviser) at UAB. Learned a lot. And the first thing I learned was to keep my big mouth shut till I "got" that campus!

After going to Illinois and Oklahoma State, I went to help with recruitment at Northeastern State for the first time. This is a small public that draws heavily from the Native American communities (it's in the capital of the Cherokee Nation) and very small towns in NE Oklahoma. To say it is uncompetitive would be a huge understatement. I had no idea - this was pre-internet everything - and showed up for pref in a to-die-for black cocktail dress. After all, the adviser had told me black was preferred. Well, I felt like a total idiot. Yes, chapter members wore black, but just skirts or slacks. I was so overdressed it was ridiculous. Some PNMs were even wearing shorts. The same adviser asked why I was so dressed up and I was like, well it's pref. Different schools, different rules.

I would never attempt to give someone specific recruitment advice about Pac 12 or Big 12, as I know NOTHING about the process there. I will stick to my Big 10 and a handful of other random schools. I am not sure why people feel the need to chime in on recruitments where they have no experience or contacts.

My biggest pet peeve is when people hand out recruitment advice and they aren't even Greek at all..

As much as we all want to help, sometimes the best help we can give is to stay silent. I've helped now with recruitment in the MAC, Big 10, Pac 12, and now the American conferences and each is extremely different, even for schools within the same conference. I tend to read, offer general support and leave the specifics to someone who knows the school.

If I would have went into my first PAC 12 recruitment thinking it was anything like my small school MAC experience I have a feeling I would have made a fool of myself. Luckily, I was fortunate enough to have had some experienced alums to guide me.

What you said.

I'm curious where that's happened this year -- I haven't seen it.

I don't think anyone needs to be individually called out - but I have seen a few posts that have made me scratch my head and wonder "Wait - didn't she go to a school with a totally different type of recruitment? Why is she giving advice seemingly off the top of her head, or even worse, passing on "alumnae tent talk"? "

I think it's just a good general reminder to only give advice when you are in a position to know from first hand, personal experience.

I agree. To be fair, Low Flat D, I didn't get the impression that anyone was being called out individually. I just took it as a general statement. I have an idea about Big 10 and SEC recruitment. I also have a general idea about ACC recruitment but, the most I would want to really comment on would be specific to the Big 10 (as a collegian) and SEC (as an alumna). I also would have a hard time commenting on particular schools like Indiana as I view that to be incredibly competitive compared to some other Big 10 schools. I write recommendations for various schools but, would only feel comfortable speaking to what happens at a particular SEC school.

What's the opposite of wrinkly?

I know of at least one recent example. A new user, her first post was of the "I'm planning to go through recruitment and need advice" variety, and then she was posting in the Disappointed Mom thread as if she was familiar with recruitment at that campus.

This took me a minute. Snicker. I was going to say "Joan Rivers. "

There's nothing ironic about asking people to back up their complaints with evidence. I'm not that forgetful. It wasn't clear whether people were referring to me or not, so I asked what they were referring to. Because I've never given "recruitment advice" of any kind. I don't believe I've ever even addressed a PNM unless she was asking about something in my wheelhouse, like law school or careers in student life.

I do acknowledge violating the unstated rule in some minds that MY unicorns must poop rainbows all the time.

Should the evidence be linked using your old username before you were banned, or your current username?

There was also another poster on here recently whose signature very much implied that she was Greek, even though she wasn't.

Even if their signatures don't indicate they are Greek, sometimes posters who are not Greek will give advice which strongly suggests that they are.

I think that for the sake of complete research and evidence , we need BOTH user names.

And I need some wine for this party!

I'm glad she's gone. She is gone, isn't she? I always thought about Dr. Seuss when I saw her signature.

Yes and yes. And I don't usually get involved in these discussions.

I really don't know
Who you're talking about
But if you'd like to share
Her username, shout!!

Ohhhhhhhh I just remembered as I was writing that little couplet. I thought she was Greek, too.

Exactly. Or, maybe they don't exactly give advice, but they comment on Greek life so regularly that any reader - even regulars - would certainly think that poster was Greek.

I'm not sure if she was banned or if she left on her own accord, but I haven't seen her around in awhile.

On a travel discussion board that I read, somebody's daughter didn't get a bid she wanted, so she dropped out. There are lots of "mean girl" statements, some attempts by people who seem to know what they are talking about, etc. Now somebody has very authoritatively announced that "it only takes one black ball". Waiting to see where that oe goes.

That is so old school that is doesn't even warrant a discussion....

I know because I saw it in a movie once.

Yeah...

There have been a couple of people join the conversation who were Greek or had been. I keep hoping one of them comes back. I am ancient, and I barely remember talk of black balls.

Same here - this year is my 50th as an initiated member. Dinosaurs roamed the earth back then

If you have one black ball (or two) you should be going through fraternity rush, not sorority rush.

haha because all the founders of our different orgs, when setting the membership standards sat down and decided "and of course, we must always remember, it only takes one black ball"

She wasn't banned, IIRC, and she was just awful in her directed comments/retorts to me. Seriously horribly rude. I put her on ignore. She hasn't been back since others called her out. AND I thought for sure we'd see her when there was a WSU thread recently.

There - is that enough detail?

An update for a super old thread... I'm active posting about sorority life on another site, and someone asked for Recruitment advice about getting invited back to a house they didn't want to visit or had ranked low.

Someone very confidently suggested that they just "sit out" the party by telling their Rho Gam they don't want to visit that house! Luckily, other posters jumped in and set the record straight!

No, you can't just "sit out" a party during Formal Recruitment, even if you REALLY know that you don't want to be an XYZ!