Wow, is all I can say. First, I didn't get pictures!! Our camera battery died (someone didn't recharge it!!).

So they actually did reaffirm their vows, though it didn't say so on the invitation. Half the people showed up late (the invitation said 7 but who arrives exactly one time for a dinner?). So a good 100 of the 170 people crowded into this tiny-assed room with only 12 chairs (the bridal party sat in them while the "bride", "groom", best man and matron of honor stood. Their kid ran all over the place, chasing his two toddler cousins (they are all young moms) while no one corrected the kids. I was so nervous that they were going to knock over the candles.

The bridesmaid dresses were black with CUT OUTS. Like if you slashed a piece of the dress. Oh and some of them wore sunglasses. Inside. At night. The "bride's" wedding dress (which she wore at full term of the pregnancy (from their FB photos, I figured out she had the baby 6 days after their first "wedding") was hanging off her. She's like a size 6/8, not nearly as big as she was when she was pg. She didn't get it tailored. They held the dress together with safety pins. Visible safety pins. The husband comes from money, they could have afforded to tailor the dress, but perhaps they thought it was a fashion statement.

So that lasts about 15 minutes and the guests are shepherded into the main room while the bridal party goes into another room to take pictures and drink. Again, no one was watching the kids (they had both sets of grandparents there). When you walked in, instead of a place cards, they had written people's names in silver marker on rocks. They had a theme for each table, but we couldn't figure out what the theme was.

At about 9pm (almost 2 hours later), they put out cheese and crackers. They had some waiters with cheese sticks and chicken fingers (they were microwaved), but they only came around once. They did one lap, and when the platters were empty, that's it. They had open bar, but they served "half drinks". Mixed drinks were in juice glasses, and beer was poured (from bottles) into 8-ounce milk type glasses. (I don't drink but it seemed quite lame). Even the soda was a spritz and the rest ice.

The bridal party came in about a half hour later, around 9:30. Dinner started at 9:50. Yep, three hours into the deal. Finally, the dj started spinning music - but only music that the bride and groom like - a combo of rap and trance music. That started at 10:20. (They had no music playing at all, until dinner was served). The bride's brother in law (who we affectionately call Spencer Pratt) got on the dance floor to showcase his drunken moves. It was like Elaine from Seinfeld but without the thumbs. It was so embarrassing.

They bride and groom never made the rounds, they had everyone come to them (which in my family, just doesn't happen). We brought a gift (that picnic basket which today retails for $76) and had put it with a few other gifts. When we went to congratulate them, the maid of honor (her sister) asked if we'd like to "give the envelope" to her, since the bride didn't have a handbag. I told her that we brought a gift. She just looked at me like I had three heads. I know she was pissed but whatever.

Oh, and I found out that they never told the general population (or most of the extended family) that they had already been married. They seriously let everyone believe that they are newlyweds. All over their FB page are congratulations to the "newlyweds", wishes to the new "husband and wife" and jokes about being old and married "now".

Thanks for the therapy lol. Good times, good times.

OMG lol!!!!

Wow. Are you gonna let it slip? I might - I mean, I'd definitely be tempted - but I'm mean like that!

Hmmm...I agree with Forever Roses. This is an anniversary party not a wedding. I'd get her an anniversary card, no gift. Wedding gifts are to be given no more than one year after the event. Your presence at her two year anniversary party (a little precious if you ask me) is gift enough.


Ooops...just saw that you already went. Wow, your cousin is T-A-C-K-Y!

:eek::eek:

This should be placed under "Tacky as hhheeelllll" On Urbandictionary.com...

All I can say is WOW :eek:

Oh...my...god...

Thank you for sharing!! The whole event sounded just as wacky as everything leading up to it.

This deserves to be on here http://www.etiquettehell.com/

Oh, that site is great!

Thanks for letting me share this story! I really am aghast at the whole thing. If I didn't give something, I'd hear about it. It didn't cost me anything to regift. The whole thing was just madness. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thinks so!!

This is my pet peeve! Please, don't procreate unless you are gonnna take care of and watch your kids! It kills me when I am at event and the kids are running around like crazy. Usually they are the children of the host or hostess, and they think nothing of it. If a parent isn't going to watch their children then they shouldn't have them. Don't even get me started about child drownings...


This is just straight tacky and I can't believe they got away with it.

Omg this site has some real gems! I've been reading it for a while now...

Proper wedding etiquette requires the "Bride" to NEVER ask for gifts let alone some time after the wedding took place by having a second reception UNLESS "In lue of gifts please make a donation to XYZ charity".

Also while I know this woman (not a lady) is using this as a loosely veild money grab do not spend the $50 on the hard bound book it has only a few pictures and a lot of words she might not know them.

Etiquette for Dummies should work just as well.

xoxox
Kaze


-----
"PIKACHU I CHOOSE YOU." Just another night with Phi Mu and Sigma Nu hanging out.

The proper spelling is "in lieu."

Did you mean "procreate"?

ree-thanks so much for going to this wedding. i needed a good laugh! hopefully you took photos?

I think I would've tripped the kid...

Tell her to NOT go lol! That's tacky!

:eek: :eek: :eek:
Ten will get you twenty that there's a cash bar, too!

If I absolutely "had to" attend this wedding, I think I'd ask how much the kiddie portions cost, or that we'll skip the meals.

I can be very strict about wild children. My favorite method is to put a hand on each shoulder and to tell the wayward child to "quit embarrassing your family and go sit down." It's never failed - although parents usually shoot me a few nasty looks.

i think it's called a wishing well.

everyone can use money. particularly if you're starting a life together.

ok, well maybe in not in this instance, lol.

When I read you first post I thought it was more of an "order the chicken, or else" tactic than a pay for your meal thing. If its the latter, my only response is :eek:.


When my cousin got married - it lasted for a hot minute - all of "the Aunts" boycotted the wedding, which was a pretty significant statement of their disapproval. The marriage's two month lifetime pretty much goes to show that the Aunts are always right.

For non-Italian-Americans (because I'm not sure if this happens in other backgrounds): The Aunts, being my great aunts, are the ultimate judges of family social etiquette. There are usually a large number of them (because your grandparents undoubtedly have 10+ siblings) who hold court at family gatherings and look out to judge and catalog missteps on the part of hosts and guests. If they boycott an event it kind of equates to Soviet countries boycotting US Olympic Games - the message is clear. At least one of the is probably named Chickie.

I'm sure it's basically a price tag for how much you "owe" the couple as a wedding gift - but if it's that tacky, I'd put it in a bond that they can't touch within 10 years. It'll give them something else to argue about during the divorce proceedings.

When I was a divorce counselor, I heard more people than I care to mention talk about "we spent $100 a head on this wedding and your family only gave us $50 each!" TACKY!!!!!

I feel like this goes beyond tacky and into some realm that I was unaware existed until right now.

I'm waiting to see if you get a thank you note for your gift :D

^^I sent a VERY nice wedding gift to a couple three years ago (I know the groom via soccer). Never got a thank you note, had to ask if they received it (I used a registry), and they're now divorced due to the bride having several affairs. I think that's the Tacky Trifecta.

Sometimes I think there's a correlation between how tacky your wedding is and how doomed your actual marriage is. I know that's kind of mean and not at all true. But sometimes it IS true! :)

Is there already a thread about cash bars versus open bars?

I'm a huuuuuuuuuge fan of open bars (libations make the world go 'round), but have been hearing people talk about cash bars more and more since the recession.

I think that if I were to get married now and price were an issue, I still wouldn't have an open bar, but maybe a white bar, where beer, white wine, and champagne were included. Or maybe even a limited open bar where we'd pick about 5-6 different kinds of liquor and mixers. Munchkin hates cash bars.

There's gotta be a way to be a good host and be budget conscious, too.

We have discussed it. I think it was in the Random Wedding thread.

I agree 100%. Hmmm....


Oh noooooo, I must scour that thread. :p Thanks...I guess I'll find it. :(

That does suck to think it's an open bar (you leave a tip) but find out it's a cash bar.

I went to a gala years ago where it was a limited cash bar like you mentioned. It was great because it isn't hard to know what drinks are most popular for an age group. If people want their fancy and rare drinks then they can get it on their own time.

I just can't believe that ree-Xi's cousin was able to find 8 women who were willing to pay for bridesmaid dresses, shoes, hair, and make-up for a "faux" wedding! Somehow I don't think the couple footed the bill for these expenses.

Did she have a shower, too? :)

[QUOTE=honeychile;1912430
I can be very strict about wild children. My favorite method is to put a hand on each shoulder and to tell the wayward child to "quit embarrassing your family and go sit down." It's never failed - although parents usually shoot me a few nasty looks.[/QUOTE]

I don't think I would have a problem if you did this to my kids- sometimes a gentle repremand from someone they don't know very well goes much farther than me giving them a much more stern repremand. Then again, I don't take the kids places where they can get too out of control. Of the few weddings I have taken the kids to, we don't stay too long at the reception. (Honey, if you are ever in Indy, feel free to stop by and get my kids under control :))



That is what we did- we paid for our wedding ourselves, so we had a wedding on a very tight budget. My entire wedding cost less than most of the dresses on Say Yes to the Dress. But everyone I talked to after said they had fun, so that was what mattered!

Well, no one's going to tell you to your face that your wedding sucked. ;)

What mattered was that you and your husband had a blast without going into hock.

True!

We had a blast, and still could afford a down payment on a house!

bump!
 

Fiance is going to be a groomsman for his best friend's wedding in a few weeks. Is there a certain amount that we should aim to spend for their wedding present? Is it better to get two things, or one larger item?

It's truly not the amount spent - if they are registered, take your cue from the registry. Pick an amount which works with your budget and try and get them something they will truly enjoy. It might be a place setting of their flatware (several things) or just one thing - a serving piece in their china pattern. If they aren't registered, I am a big fan of a Penzey's Deluxe Spicy Wedding - I always get a good response http://www.penzeys.com/scstore/giftb...cyWedding.html
or if you are more flush - http://www.penzeys.com/scstore/giftb...dingCrate.html