That is exactly what I'm saying.

And white people can say "honky" (since we're typing stuff out, apparently) or any other derivative all they want to without any confusion or protest on my part.

That's what ethnic and cultural identities are about. Whiteness as a racial identity essentially became all-inclusive generations ago.

As always, I refer you to Ignatiev's "How the Irish Became White" if you want to understand why and how.

Having race on a birth certificate does not mean you are born a particular race. It means that society has assigned a race.

AmeriKKKa. You can type "nigger" and act confused over "negro" but I can't type "AmeriKKKa?" That's humorous.

I don't think you got where I was going....

Dr. Phil actually said it better.

Sigh, dating an african american who helped him through the death of his wife apparently makes him someone who screws the help. Talking fondly of the african american who started him on his career doesn't count one iota toward him not being racist.

If that's your world, I'm just glad I'm not living in it. :(

The racist structure includes our language
 

You are living in it.

You could've easily made this woman's racial designation a last consideration. Instead, you volunteered his romp with her as support for why he's not racist and how she loves it when he talks dirty to her "colored negro ass." (:) I kid, I kid.)

She's relegated to "an African American who...." and "the African American who...." You did that. He probably did, as well, since an elderly white man dating the help is always an ice breaker. However, I did not do that.

Yup. I learned that from the whole "Birther" wierdness. The short form of the Birth Certificate is what the Obama campaign put up on the website. The long form of the Birth Certificate is what the State of Hawaii considers to be private and inappropriate to release.

Note, when the Birthers got to the point where they were accusing the Republican Governor of Hawaii as being part of the Conspiracy, I started offering them tin-foil hats.

Also as a companion piece, read "...And Ladies of the Club." It's fiction, but it definitely shows how the Irish were viewed by other white people and why they did what they did.

ARE there older black people out there who still use "Negro" just because they think any of the updated terms are too militant/reactionary? (Kind of along the same lines of women who don't call themselves feminists.)

naraht, I understand what Dr Phil is trying to say. It's the difference between referring to someone (verbally or nonverbally) as "my black friend Terri" and "my friend Terri who loves skiing and lives in South Park and oh yeah, who happens to be black."

None that I have met, but I can understand that if you are a product of that era why you may use it. Some people are indeed resistant to change.

Thanks. I'll have to check that out. :)

Yes, and also Black people who just think it complicates things--similar to men and women who think gender equality complicates things (such as child birth).

There are also older (and not so older) Black people who don't look white people in the eyes and call all white people "sir" and "ma'am," even if they are 20 years older than the white person.

Those of us who are accustomed to being the only Black person (or other nonwhite person) in academic, professional, and certain personal settings know how it feels to be the "token Black person." :) People try real hard to prove they aren't racist ("some of my bestfriends are..."/"my ex-boyfriend is....") even when YOU aren't thinking about that stuff.

White people who are "the only" experience a similar dynamic except for the fact that whites (as the population and power majority in this country) are much less likely to be "the only" unless they SEEK out nonwhite settings in this extremely (de facto) racially segregated society.

This isn't about bigotry or good people versus bad people (as naraht seems to think it is). It's about power dynamics and social interaction.

Exactly...some people go so far out of the way to try to be 'non offensive' that they wind up being more offensive in the long run.

Sometimes if you are trying to be friends with someone of another race or culture, it's simply best not to 'be so obvious'.

I just hope I'm up for a romp when I'm 84, he isn't (see mention in previous posting about Prostate issues) . How you got from my term "dating" to screwing and a romp is *well* beyond me. Equally beyond me is how you got from "being refered to as colored" to "talking dirty".

I'd have included both their names, but they are irrelevant to the point. (and the man who taught my neighbor is dead) She was no longer "the help" once his wife died. And her being colored was the last thing I said in the post.

Finding out that he was dating her wasn't an ice breaker, it was my wife and I being curious as to what was getting him out of the house after his wife's death.

But, if that's who you are, that's who you are. You'll hold those opinions of my neighbor regardless of what I post in the future, and for *that* I pity you.

33girl, I understand that. However with his deceased wife having two caregivers, of about the same age, height, and weight, refering to her race as the way to identify which one he was dating was, to me, reasonable.

Really? you don't see the difference between saying:

My neighbor still uses 'colored', but he is 84. He is definitely *not* racist. After his second wife died about 5 years ago, he dated one of the in home care-givers for his wife for about two years. She didn't mind before referred to as colored, but she is in her 60s.

And

My neighbor still uses 'colored', but he is 84 and is a product of his environment.

Must we go back in thread time to remind you of why we even know about your neighbor and his African American romp? I don't have any opinions of your neighbor. I simply said that you don't know that he's "definitely *not* racist."

Back to the OP (before this thread became one big cliche`), if the text is written in the historical context (including language, tone, and facts) then seeing certain words is understandable. However, if the text is just an excuse for someone to use certain references because they want to do so, it is not okay.

Clue: "in home care-givers" :D

Forgive me for being a product of my time but :eek: what the eff is that!? LOL! OMG! I'd never use that in a MILLION years. Thank GOD for adhesive, better yet, tampons. Pads are so high school...:p

"She's seen me take a shit so now I can hit." :D

Yup. One uses an example. The difference is that I see an 84 year old white man dating an african-american woman in her 60's who used to work for him and his wife as an expression of love and lack of racism and you apparently see it as a sign that the plantation is still a model for relationships in the 21st century.

I have to walk outside and get some air while I LMAO.....thank you. :D:eek::)


*calmly leaves his desk*

Only if his wife had been interested.

:)

This belongs in the D&R Random thread.

You have to remember this was in the day when a lot of people still believed that tampons devirginized you. I guess you really don't want to hear about my grandma's day and WASHABLE, REUSABLE pads. There were a lot of older women who never used stick on pads or tampons...just wasn't what they were brought up with.

Just like older black people saying "Negro" instead. I can't believe the tangent merged into the original topic!

Again, with "romp" rather than dating, if you can't imagine dating without a "romp", you've got issues that go well beyond race. :D

Yup. That day has actually not completely ended. As a child, I was told (eta to clarify: by the school nurse) that only "fassss girls" used tampons.

Fast forward 20 years to a group of 12-15 yo girls on the swimming team and all of them used tampons (understandably so :)) and most of them were not sexually active. I was like :eek: "my, how things have changed...viva la gender revolution!!" :D

You're so busy dissecting the word "romp" while you should be worried about the much more socially significant words that started this thread.

Sensitive are we?

You forgot option number 3...telling some tmi stuff that leaves one wide open for innuendo at the teller's expense.

I got what you were saying before but didn't see the need for you to spell it out.

There's a "Riding Mr Davies" joke in there somewhere but I'm too nice a person today to let that one out.

:D

There are a lot of jokes that shall remain in the joke vault.

I can't post the James Brown youtube... "Living in Amer...."?

Actually, I fully disagree on that.

The fact that
A) the american culture has gotten to the point that there are people who expect that *any* dating relationship, whether they are in it or not, has to have involve sex
is considerably more socially significant
B) than the continued use of racially descriptive words which were the preferred description at the time that the speaker first used them.

I think the whole concept of what DrPhil was explaining to you flew over your head.

Time to eat....I think I will have some Negro Black coffee with my meal.

At the teller's expense is one thing. If this were aimed at me, I'd be fine with it. It wasn't.

Oh, but I think it was, nobody else but you was telling me how they knew someone who was dating the in home care giver.



Anywho.....

A) Huh? A smarter approach would be to consider these just jokes and acknowledge that neither you nor I really know what was going on in their bedroom. The larger point should not be lost on you unless you are desperately seeking an escape.

B) Yeah, you are desperately seeking an escape. If this is less important than something as silly as A, why the heck did you create this thread?

DrPhil wasn't indicating that I had had sex outside of marriage, she was indicating that my 84 year neighbor had.

Any reason why you don't want Colored Coffee? :mad:

Oh JEEZ!!!!!!! WEEEE KNOW!!!!!!!

Can I get a facepalm gif please?

@DrPhil I don't like mixing....hehe

"Ah laks mah coffee lak ah laks mah wemmin...strongs and blacks..."

Gone now for CPT minute.

Your 84 yo neighbor can kill kittens while wearing a tutu and pissing ponies. The fact that you are stuck on this is comical and also cliche`::::

When discussing race, it's important to NOT discuss race. If we can hide race under stupid things like elderly people who hold hands with the help while blowing bubbles in the bath tub--all while calling the help a Colored Negro, that means this is a racially progressive society. Chuckle. :)

damn... ^^^ saw this while getting up...

**DEAD**

Just because you're involved in an interracial relationship DOES NOT mean you're absolved of any racism. This probably does belong in the D&R Random thread, but just because you're dating, married to, or just hittin' up someone of another race doesn't mean you can't be racist towards other members of your partner's race, any other races, or even your own.

This is why I cyberappreciate you most of the time. :)

Just so you know....everyone is at least a little racist.

Gah i'm a genius :D