Originally Posted by Titchou (Post 1851583)

Well, I reckon it's where you're from...our form has a place to mark if you want to be called for your legacy if she is released. And I've always done so at any chapter I've advised - no matter how many.

Originally Posted by UGAalum94 (Post 1851696)

When I first read her post, I had the reaction you are having, and then I realized she must have been thinking about the not-custodial step-parents and step siblings who never lived in the same household. It was still a pretty thoughtless comment for her to have made, no doubt, but maybe it's not the case that she considers all step-relationships as less valid than blood relationships.

Originally Posted by lkjl2007 (Post 1851028)

Here's what I hope will be the short version. I'm a sophomore at a smaller public university with relatively laidback recruitment (at least compared to schools in the south). I decided to rush this year and people have told me I'm perfect for a sorority. I'm involved in a lot of activities, love volunteering, sports, music, etc., and [I'm not trying to be full of myself] am prettier than your average girl. I'm a legacy at two different sororities on my campus, my dad was in a fraternity, and was really looking forward to going through rush and finding my place in our Greek system. I had two letters of recommendation for one of the houses where I'm a legacy, and the women in my family have been so excited at the thought of me joining a sorority, as have I!

My recruitment walkaround group was all freshman except for myself, but we all got along really well and had similar sororities that we liked and didn't like. We even talked about how all of us were such great girls, there was no way any of us would be mismatched.

Our first round, we had short parties at each of the ten houses. I felt that it went really well; I had a bunch of great conversations and really clicked with a lot of the girls I met. There were two houses where I really couldn't see myself at all, so when we did our rankings, they were at the bottom of my list.

When we got our parties back for the second round, I had been cut from three of the houses where I thought things had gone great (I loved them!) and so I had back both of the houses I had wanted to drop, for a total of seven parties. The second round was AMAZING. At two sororities I had really wonderful experiences, great conversations, and really felt like I found my place. I was worried about having to choose between those two houses towards the end. There were two other houses where I didn't have such awesome experiences, but I felt like I just needed more time to get to know them. When we ranked, I wanted to drop the same two houses I had tried to drop the first night; nothing had changed in my experiences there and I didn't feel like they were for me. There was also another house where I had an okay experience, but it just didn't feel right. So those were the three that I ranked at the bottom.

Then when I went back to get my party schedule for the third night, my Rho Chi looked at my schedule and said "I think we should go outside". She showed me my schedule. Somehow I had gone from seven houses the night before to ONE HOUSE. One house the night BEFORE preference night. We were supposed to have three to five houses. And of course the one house was the sorority I had ranked last both of the first two rounds; I felt no chemistry with the girls and was just straight up not interested in that house.

I started crying, and my Rho Chi tried to comfort me by saying how she didn't know why it happened, she could really see me in some of the houses I had wanted, sometimes the computer screws up, and so on. I made the decision to drop out of recruitment, because I knew I didn't want to join that one house that had asked me back. They are a small house and really trying to increase their numbers, and maybe only asked me back because of that!

So I filled out the drop form and left, really embarrassed that I had been a mismatch, and totally distraught that I'm not going to be finding my place in the Greek system here.

There is the very slight possibility I could be offered a snap bid, and some of the houses may do spring recruitment if they need to fill the house, but...I don't know if I would try again to join houses that didn't want me this time around.

I want to know why this happened. I am a normal girl-there's nothing weird about me, I love having fun and hanging out with friends, shopping, the beach, and so on...so why did the sororities that told me how much they loved me, that really seemed like they would fit, not ask me back?

I guess this all means I'm not meant for Greek life, but I'd still like some opinions. I feel totally demoralized by this experience.

Originally Posted by lkjl2007 (Post 1851488)

I'm already quite involved on campus (given that I'm a sophomore) and was looking to further enhance my involvement with Greek life.



I gave them a chance. Twice. I talked with several girls in both rounds and just did not feel chemistry there in the way that I did in other houses. I didn't see a point in putting myself through the heartache of watching friends go to the houses who had turned me down, just to spend more time at a house that didn't feel right to me.



I know that there were quite a few sophomores participating in recruitment, and that our school has a history of placing sophomores in fall recruitment. I don't know that my class standing had anything to do with it.



As stated in my original post, I'm not at a southern school.



I came into recruitment with a very open mind, trying to stay away from all stereotypes or things I'd heard about chapters, and really just find my place. I gave that chapter a chance.



I am incredibly involved in volunteer work; in fact, it's something I spoke about again and again during recruitment, that it's a huge part of who I am. I did not want to join a sorority to party, or gain a certain reputation, or anything you implied. I wanted to be part of a sisterhood, to find that home within a big school, and to have the opportunity for social and service activities.



That's creepy. Really creepy. And based on what you posted later on (and subsequently deleted) I think you're actually wrong about what school you think I'm from.
In any case, I went to every house with an open mind.
I do have a perfectly great social life without a GLO, I just wanted to diversify that social life a bit and meet new people.



I'm not sure what you mean here...elaborate? You don't have some sabotage theory, do you?



Thanks for the well-wishes. I am already quite involved so i don't feel like my life's going to be empty without a sorority...But I am kind of offended that you would even mention a "reputation". I most certainly don't have one, and I'm not being defensive. I have a close circle of friends, and most of them are girls, and there's really no way I could have that kind of reputation.



Thank you. CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY.

Originally Posted by UGAalum94 (Post 1851696)

When I first read her post, I had the reaction you are having, and then I realized she must have been thinking about the not-custodial step-parents and step siblings who never lived in the same household. It was still a pretty thoughtless comment for her to have made, no doubt, but maybe it's not the case that she considers all step-relationships as less valid than blood relationships.

Originally Posted by lkjl2007 (Post 1852175)

And no, I absolutely would not think that of adopted children! That was pretty thoughtless of you yourself VandalSquirrel...ever think that the person you're attacking could be adopted?

Originally Posted by lkjl2007 (Post 1852175)

I have five stepsiblings, and both of my parents are remarried. I have lived with and am close to some of my stepsiblings, and not lived with and am not close to some of them. I am close to one step-parent and not to the other. Just as I didn't use "legacy status" with my step-parents when applying to colleges, I wouldn't use it for sororities with any of my stepfamily. That is my personal situation, and perhaps I didn't speak properly in my previous post.

What I said isn't meant to invalidate others' relationships/legacy status with their stepfamilies. And no, I absolutely would not think that of adopted children! That was pretty thoughtless of you yourself VandalSquirrel...ever think that the person you're attacking could be adopted?

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1852179)

You were the one who threw out the phrase "blood relative", toots.