GreekChat.com Forums - Not Keen on Having Kids support thread

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Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid (Post 1844192)

Question for everyone responding: Does looking at the world and what's going on around us (unsafe school environments, child abuse, preganancy, exposure to adult material at early ages etc) and how 'quickly' we see the world change around us also deters anyone from having kids?

my feelings stem from my own childhood and upbringing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 1844167)

Nobody should have kids out of pressure from someone else (including a spouse) because it's HARD to be a parent, even when it's what you really want. It takes an inordinate amount of patience, money, time and sacrifice. I love my kids and have loved being a parent most of the time but I'm also counting down the years (5!) until they are both in college and I will have my life all to myself again. There are a lot of people who think I'm strange because I'm looking forward to having an "empty nest", but after almost 16 years of this incredible responsibility, I'm ready to do my own thing without thinking about anybody else's needs first. I think it will be a liberating thing, not a scary thing, but then, I have an identity outside of "daughter's mom" or "son's mom".

The bold is why I don't want kids. I like my life. If I want to go to the beach on my day off, I don't want to have to worry about getting back in time to pick my kids up from school. I don't want the responsibility of teaching my kids how to do things correctly or know what to say when something happens. You aren't just having a cute little baby, you are having something that will grow and you have to teach it to be a responsible adult.

On the topic of comments on the "no-kid" stance:
"Oh whatever, you will be a great mom."
"You say that now. Just wait until you get older."
"But children are life's greatest accomplishment!"

I like dogs. I can do dogs. The idea of children is too much responsibility and... well many other things. Don't even get me started on pregnancy. Ick.

I feel those of you who are complaining about doctors being reluctant to perform more permanent birth control methods. When I got divorced, I asked my doctor about getting my tubes tied (at age 37!) and was vehemently told "No way". I already HAD two kids and I absolutely knew that I never wanted to have another one. But my doctor said "Do you know how many women come in at age 40, are remarried and NOW want their tubals reversed because they want a baby with their new husband?" Well, here I am, at age 44, still having to deal with less effective methods because that woman didn't think I knew what I wanted at the time. I definitely get it! I'm going to ask about Essure the next time I go in.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 1844468)

:rolleyes:

That's really too bad. Well try to look at it this way, I think Essure is supposed to be even more effective than having tubes tied, so maybe in the long run, the doctor's trifling behavior will work out better for you. (Please don't think I'm making light of your valid frustration with the doctor because that is not my intent at all. :))

Quote:

Originally Posted by deepimpact2 (Post 1844407)

2. Because we both lost our moms at a young age (22) she thinks that I won't feel "whole" again until I have a baby of my own. She feels that way because that is what happened with her. She never wanted kids either. Then once she got married, she changed her mind. She said when she had her first baby, she finally felt "whole" again after losing her mom.

It's stuff like this that complete enrages me. :mad: I lost my mom when i was 17. I didn't want kids at all then and I'm only lukewarm to the idea now. A kid won't make anyone "whole" who is grieving a loss. The pain gets easier but you never fill that void!!! I would have lost my crap if someone said that to me.