GreekChat.com Forums - My Unique Recruitment Story

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Originally Posted by Calliope (Post 1789790)

Long time lurker, first time poster. We just finished off recruitment, so I thought I might relive my own recruitment with you all! This isn't in real time, and I'm going to update as often as I can. I fully expect life to get in the way, so I may not go as quickly as you would all like! I'm sorry!

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IIn my first semester I met a lot of very nice girls who were involved in Greek Life. Early in my second semester, I still flip flopped between wanting to go through formal rush or not. I’m not a partyer, and I was afraid I would not have fit in with any of the groups. (Remember: I was a clueless freshman. I didn’t really know what Greek Life was all about.)

I finally decided to attend rush with my roommate (we’ll call her Rachel). We were going to use it as a bonding activity and actually wound up in the same recruitment group. Our Rho Chi was very nice (and I have to confess that I knew which sorority she was in already), and very helpful in explaining the process to us and answering any questions we might have. Once we had rush orientation, we all went home to regroup and get ready for the introduction parties the next night.

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Originally Posted by Calliope (Post 1789920)

Sunday was the first official day of rush. My roomie and the rest of my group gathered in a corner of the school cafeteria to get started. I wasn’t able to touch base with Rachel to see what she was wearing. As I looked around the cafeteria, I felt extremely underdressed, and self-conscious. Many of the girls were wearing cute little sundresses (in the middle of February!) with ridiculously high spiked heels. I wasn’t dressed like a bum, but I only had on a wool skirt and a sweater. I already felt like I had made a bad decision and didn’t belong in my stereotyped vision of this world.

Nevertheless, I was already there and I had already paid my rush fee, so I didn’t think it would be a bad idea to go through at least Day 1 of rush. Our Rho Chi handed out our schedule for the evening. We would be visiting:

Gryffindor

Hufflepuff

Slytherin

As we walk through the student center to get to the room where we will be meeting Gryffindor, my heart starts pounding because I can already hear chanting and clapping. I am definitely out of my comfort zone. The doors open and all I see is a row of girls clapping and chanting. We are placed in a single file line, and as we enter the room, a girl takes us on each arm and leads us into the room. My head is just in a whirl. The girl on my left introduces herself, and I barely register her name. The girl to my right smacks me upside the head and tells me to snap out of it. I look over and it’s my cousin! I had no idea she was in a sorority! And she's the Treasurer!

I immediately feel more at ease and allow my escorts to help me work the room. All of the girls seem really nice, but I can’t help but feel that despite my connection to Gryffindor through my cousin, that I just don’t belong here. It feels like a meat market – “what’s your name?” “What’s your major?” “Where are you from?” “What year are you?” “What dorm are you in?” There has to be something more about me that these girls want to know. All in all, I feel like by the end of the party, I’ve met the entire sorority, but I don’t really KNOW them. Time is called, and I don’t think that Gryffindor is the group is for me.

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Originally Posted by Calliope (Post 1792311)

I'm sorry it took so long! I haven't written this ahead of time, and I didn't have much time this week to actually sit down and write. Hopefully, things won't go as slowly. My job is completely unpredictable though, so if I'm slow, please don't hate me!!! (Besides, isn't a little suspense a good thing? Yeah, I don't think so either...)

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Without further ado....

The next party we go to is for Hufflepuff. At Hufflepuff, the walk is quiet. No clapping, no singing, no chanting. After the excitement and energy of Gryffindor, I think to myself that there must be something wrong with Hufflepuff.

The door to the party opens, and I see the same thing – a line of girls. One girl grabs me as I walk in. I have absolutely no idea who she is, and I realize almost immediately that I don’t even remotely recognize anyone in this room. My mind by this point has already scratched Hufflepuff off the list.

I plaster on a smile and start talking to my escort. She turns out to be a really nice girl, and as I am introduced to other girls in Hufflepuff, my feeling start to completely change. This group has everything I’m looking for – girls who aren’t dressed to the nines, fat girls, skinny girls, NORMAL girls! I’m a little on the geeky student side, and I’m excited to learn that not only are these girls personable, but they also have the highest GPA of the greeks in the school!

The President talks a little bit about what sisterhood has meant to her. I literally start crying during her story. She also talks a lot about Hufflepuff’s philanthropy and how much it is an integral part of their activities. I realize at this point that I want this. I want to be in a sorority. I want to be part of something that can make a difference in my life and in others’, and I want to have these women in my life. I want Hufflepuff.

The party comes to an end, I get hugs from a number of the girls, and despite my epiphany, I still have to go meet Slytherin.

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Originally Posted by Calliope (Post 1818348)

So sorry for the delay! Good things come to those who wait, right?

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Truth be told, I actually don’t remember much about Slytherin. My sports friends were mostly in Slytherin, so it was more of reunion type of thing. And thus concludes the night.

The second night of rush comes two days later – skit night. We don’t get much time to actually talk to the girls. We watch the skits and the Treasurers talk a little bit about the finances of the chapter and what is expected of new members. I still know that Hufflepuff is for me. When we get back to our room, Rachel wants to dissect every aspect of rush so far and analyze which groups we like best. She really wants to be in Gryffindor. I tell her that I could be happy in any group, but I keep quiet about the fact that I am completely dedicated to Hufflepuff.

The next day we receive our pref invites. We have appointments to meet the Rush Counselors where they give us our pref invites. Rachel had her appointment first thing in the morning and told me during a class we shared that she received prefs to Gryffindor and Slytherin. She is thrilled.

But what about me?

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Originally Posted by Calliope (Post 1887992)

I am so so sorry for leaving this story hanging for so long! I promise I'll update more often now! (Please please forgive me!)

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My appointment is later in the day. I walk in to meet my Rho Chi. She tells me that it’s been a long day and she has to step out for a moment. After about 5 minutes she comes back and tells me to follow her. I follow her and find myself in the Director of Greek Life’s office (We’ll call her Greta). The Rho Chi leaves us and shuts the door. Greta asks if I have checked my voicemail at all today. No, I haven’t been back to my dorm all day. She tells me that she’s very sorry, but I have no received any pref invites. I’m welcome to try for rush again, but at least this time around, rush is over for me.

I’m numb. I’m absolutely numb. What did I do wrong? The girls all liked me. I was engaged in conversations, I was interested – really interested. I gave thoughtful and truthful answers about why I wanted to go Greek. I told Greta that I went through rush with no expectations, but after meeting the girls, I had my heart set on joining a sorority and that I feel like an absolute failure. She tells me that this is not uncommon. As I stand up to leave the room, I turn to ask if this has happened to anyone else. She says, not in the past 3 years. Thanks, Greta. That makes me feel a lot better.

I go back to my dorm. I am so happy that Rachel is not around. I bolt the door and burst into tears. I can’t believe this has happened to me. The more I met the ladies, the more I wanted to be a part of the group. I couldn’t help but dwell on it.

Eventually Rachel comes home and asks me what my outcome was for pref night. I told her that I had received a pref to Gryffindor, but I wound up turning it down because it really wasn’t the group that I wanted. She tells me she so sorry, but that she understands why I did what I did. To this day, Rachel doesn’t know about my lie.

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Nope, it's not over yet, so stay tuned!

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Originally Posted by Calliope (Post 1888336)

Again, I'm really sorry but there's good news and bad news:

Bad News - my recruitment doesn't end with this post.
Good News - I have it all written already so updates will come quickly!!

I know that I'm lacking on details, but in all honesty I think I've already given away too much. Plus - my recruitment story started back almost a decade ago now, so there's been a lot of time for the incidental details to get fuzzy!

I don't really know how "unique" this really will wind up being, but to me it seems pretty out of the ordinary! With that, let's continue...

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Eventually rush ends. Rachel gets a bid to Slytherin. Everyone else that I am good friends with get bids to Hufflepuff. I spoke with Greta a few other times that semester and tell her how disappointed I am that so many girls who received bids decided to eventually drop out from pledging. Someone like me who really saw the value of the sorority for what it was, would never have dropped out of something because it was too hard. Great apologizes again, and tell me that I can try Informal Rush in the Fall.

Enter Fall of my sophomore year. I am now a sophomore and it’s time for informal rush to begin. I visit Greta again to tell her I’m still interested. She informs me that none of the sororities have opted to do Informal Rush this semester. Great. Foiled again.

So Spring comes again and I sign up for Formal Rush one more time. It’s me and what feels like a bunch of freshman. I already feel awkward and wonder if this is something that I really want to go through again. I come to the conclusion that yes, I do. I owe it to myself and I owe it to the group of girls who are my sisters in spirit, whoever they may be. Ultimately, I believe in the system, I know that I would have a lot to offer the sorority. I am going through formal rush again.

Truth be told, much of my second rush is a blur. I do remember that I still was heads over heels in love with Hufflepuff. I felt a lot more confident this time around because I had a lot of friends in all of the sororities, but the most in Hufflepuff. In fact I’d say I was almost inseparable with about 15% of the sorority. (We're a small school - everyone knows pretty much everyone)

However, Rachel (my roomie from Freshman year) took special care to introduce me to as many people in Slytherin as she could. I no longer felt that Hufflepuff was the only group for me. I would be perfectly happy in Slytherin as well. Of course, I would still prefer Hufflepuff, but never let any of the three groups know that. But I definitely hinted to Hufflepuff that I kinda loved them (but knew despite all of that, I could be happy anywhere.)

So next is pref day. Dejavu. I am the last person with an appointment for the day. I am so freakishly nervous that I’m going to have a repeat of last year. I sit down with the Rho Chi. She asks me to hold on a moment. Darn, I think to myself. Here we go again.

To my surprise, she apologizes for the wait, but I was a little early and she had to run to the restroom because she hadn't taken a break all day. What? Am I not going to Greta’s office?

She pulls out an envelope. I open it and listed on there are my prefs for the next night…

Slytherin.

That’s it.

I’m disappointed, but I figure I will make the best of it. I liked Slytherin and I love Rachel. I know that people don’t always get their first choice, but things do turn out for the best. Maybe I am meant to be in Slytherin.

However, there’s another problem…

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Originally Posted by Calliope (Post 1888503)

Ok, before I let my trainwreck rush continue, I want to explain something. My school was very very small and the Greek Life, while prevalent on campus, really wasn't that big of a deal. I never had any recommendations - I didn't know that such a thing existed for greek life and it was never mentioned by the greek life office. Even if I had, the only person I knew in any sorority was my Gryffindor cousin from Year 1 (but of course I didn't know that until I went to the Gryffindor rush party, so I wouldn't have asked her anyway.) I had a cousin at another school who was also greek, but her GLO wasn't on my campus anyway.

Another thing that made my initial "no-pref" rush so shocking was that at the orientation meeting it was made clear that every girl who had ever gone through rush since greek life started on my campus (maybe about 10 years before I rushed the first time) had received a bid. So when I was dropped, I was absolutely shocked, but moreso hurt than anything else. Life goes on, after all, but feelings can't be glossed over and sometimes stick with you, especially if you're a little insecure and shy to begin with!

But anyway, I digress. I'm not that person anymore and I'm over what had happened to me. I won't lie, but it did take a long long while. I've already said that the story isn't over yet, and believe me - it will actually get worse before it gets any better.

So without any more delay, here's my next installment. (I feel like there needs to be some kind of telenovela type music or something!)

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I think I had mentioned before that I was on softball scholarship. We had a new coach this year who didn’t care that rush was this week and had scheduled practices that coincided with the end of formal rush. Since I was on the team and on scholarship, I had to make my way to the diamond for a practice right in the middle of the pref party. I had to get there in time or else risk some real trouble!

Greta tells me that I will have 0% chance to receive a bid if I don’t go to the pref party. I know if I don’t go I’m done. I decide that my best bet is to go and stay for as long as I can, and explain to the sisters immediately why I can’t stay for the whole thing. I decide I have to try, so that is what I do.

The pref party at Slytherin is beautiful. It’s an entire sit down gourmet dinner (at least my school cafeteria standards). There are flowers everywhere and the student lounge is transformed into a ballroom, complete with a tastefully handmade gold cardboard chandelier. (Maybe my memory has exaggerated this a little bit, but I do remember it really was beautiful.)

While I had a great time at the party, in my heart of hearts, I just don’t see myself as a Slytherin. I still believe I’m truly a Hufflepuff, but they don’t want me so I might as well make lemons out of lemonade. I don’t let on, but I do apologize to the Slytherins that I have to leave for practice, and I get going. On the way out, my Rho Chi meets me and has me sign a pref card. Against my better judgment, I list Slytherin first because they actually preffed me. Then I put Hufflepuff, and finally Gryffindor.

The next morning I’m awake really early. Today is Bid Day! Just as I’m getting ready to leave for the student center, my phone rings. (If you think you know what comes next, you’re probably right.) I pick it up, and it’s Greta. She tells me that she’s awfully sorry, but I shouldn’t come to bid day because I have not received a bid. I start crying on the phone right there.

I’m almost hysterical. I don’t need friends. I don’t need to feel better about myself. I don’t NEED to join a sorority to be happy. However, it’s something I want to do and it’s something special I need to be a part of! I’m inconsolable and I’m pretty sure I’m hiccupping as I’m talking to her. I’ve always been the perfect kid who did what everyone else wanted her to do and never did anything for herself. This was something I wanted to do for myself, regardless of how my mother didn't really want me to do it. I didn’t care about prestige or social status. I wanted to be a part of something that connected me to women like me across the country and throughout history. I wanted to be ME.

Greta is obviously uncomfortable. She tells me she doesn’t have any other phone calls to make but that I can try informal rush in the Fall. Thanks, Greta. That really makes me feel better...again Not.

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Don’t worry, the story STILL doesn’t end there. But like I said, it got worse before it got better!!

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Originally Posted by Calliope (Post 1888550)

It's not any of those schools, actually. I know now that it wasn't true (hello! Poster child right here!) and I actually found out after the fact that I wasn't the only one dropped the second time I rushed. It actually became more and more common each subsequent year until another group was added to campus (And I bet you thought that I left Ravenclaw out! winkwink) They just had more girls rushing than they had spots available. I can't blame them for that. In that scenario there's going to be someone who is left out - just why did it have to be me?! Twice!!

I don't blame my school's greek life for what they said. Who knows? Maybe I was just so starry eyed that I misunderstood - maybe they said most everyone gets a bid? I can't go back in time and listen again, though, so I'll never know.

As for Greta, I really don't blame her either. It's just an uncomfortable situation all around - I'd be really uncomfortable too. I wound up getting to know her very very well and she's a lovely person. I do remember that I kept asking her questions when she called since I was trying to figure out what went wrong, and she probably just felt at that point that ripping of the bandage would be less painless in the long run. There's just really no good way to handle that situation. Looking back, I'm actually glad that she was so blunt with me. I needed to face reality. It sucked, but it was still reality. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

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Ill try to get another update up tonight, but I'm a glutton for awards shows and the SAGs are about to start! (Forgive me if you have to wait until tomorrow!!)

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Originally Posted by Calliope (Post 1888555)

Mine is definitely not sad. It might seem that way right now, but I promise you it's not. (Plus - unlike what I think of that other thread, this is actually true!)

I'm actually annoyed that I used the "unique" in the subject especially after that debacle of a thread from the link above. But I started this thread almost a year ago, so please don't hold the "unique" against me!!! LOL!

As for the point of the story, there actually isn't one. I just like reading the Recruitment Stories, and I figured I'd share mine. There's no "moral of the story" or anything like that.

Anyway, the awards are on now! Adios for now!

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Originally Posted by Calliope (Post 1888629)

Actually, that's an interesting theory, but none of it is correct. My story as I've told it so far is as it actually happened (and it actually started 9 years ago, so the theory of my starting to tell the story live last March doesn't really fit.)

Again, not true. I'm actually a very happy and proud member of Hufflepuff now. As to how I finally wound up getting there, it will be a story that remains with me.

I thought my recruitment was interesting because I did go through a lot to become a sister and thought it might be nice to share. However, I know how quickly these types of threads can turn sour. Since this one seems to be going south quickly, I'll just end it here and leave it at that. As to my code, that will also remain a secret. However, I will say at least one of houses have had representation on this thread. (Well at least as far as I can tell by signatures and user names, that is!)

Have a good night everyone, and I'm sorry for those who wanted to hear the rest!

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Originally Posted by Calliope (Post 1888639)

If I had posted all at once, it would have been QFP'd.

Well now you are QFP'd regardless. Happy? :) :rolleyes: