Oh. My.

I know. :(

Not nearly as heinous as any of these but I need someone to commiserate with:

Some Idiot is reevaluating his waist size.

Seriously? Give me a break

Dad's Cousin who randomly has a Facebook is waiting for Tim to come home.

Oh good, because I was just sitting here wondering what my random relative through marriage was doing at this exact instant. Why do people feel the need to document and publish every moment of their lives?

My middle school friend is realizing how much i love being from the south :) in tennessee//headed to georgia[loving my girls!] rEaDy FoR fRiDaY,,fiNaLLy GoiNg HoMe! yaye textme.

The sad part is, she was actually intelligent then. And didn't bother with random capitalization... And she updates it like this at least once a day.

ETA: Oh, I forgot. Much overuse/misuse of capitalization.

ETA2: And then I started searching for more craptastic ones...

MizZ ♥ iS NEED F0R S0ME ADViCE FB00K! i MESSED UP i REALLi L0VE THiS PERS0N THE ARE HURT WHAT D0 i D0 T0 MAKE UP! iM REALLY S0RRY.

What I hate more than that though: those people who don't use their first name as their name on Facebook.

My favorites:
MizZ PrinceZz Firstname Lastname
Firstname SymplieBewtifuhl Lastname

I'm sure I'll be sharing a lot of this girls statuses...

Random highschool classmate's little sister is Me&Brittney=P.I.T.S. omgg tooo funnnyy:) haha; i love it; I love you Nicole ♥ Out laterr;text me;Real World tonightt!! I wanna go awayyy for SB FML!♥


What???

Jacked Grill " is waiting for an opportunity to bust it wide open...."

Some KId L0VEz hER biG CUSziN:***** (ShES MY hEARt)l0lS N JASMiNE ShANtRELL Y0U 2 N ETC. .... *2MUCh StRESz* :).

Sigh WiLL B3 6 MONTHz 2MRRW,M3ANWHiL3 iM BOUT TOO 3AT.! W3LL THATZ A 3V3RYDAY THiNG,i LOV3 MY TOO M3N.! "R3AL SHiT.

@ purple...WOOOOOOOW! Sad! SMH.

haha--your color choice is funny. Guess his greek affiliation.

Quit Poking Me! Need's more than ICandy,I need a meal Brains,Beauty & Style..

^^^
How are you going demand qualities that you don't even have?!

Sorry dudes, you're going to take the brunt of this one for no real reason . . . look, I get that there's a reunion coming up, you stupid fuck, but why would you send me a facebook message asking for the phone number or email address of SOMEONE ELSE WHO IS ON FACEBOOK YOU STUPID FUCK. Seriously. Same network you're using to annoy the balls off of me. Very simple, Corky Thatcher. This does not have to wind up with me shaking my head at my desk and wondering how on Earth someone decided to pay you money to do anything other than get naked. I hope you get ovarian cancer or get killed by fire.

http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/graphics...eGoesOn_S1.jpg

In a couple of years, they have built a home sweet home....

It really was completely small-faced.

Totally agree. Although a lot of people are attention wh0res.

My sister in law/brother in law would update both of their status' when my sister in law was in the hospital having a stint put in her heart. I'm sorry how about instead of going home and updating your FB status, you worry about the crisis at hand!

I guess I'm lucky...my Facebook friends are fairly well-behaved. Once I told the high school people I wasn't going to the reunion, I didn't get any more messages about it.

Of course, I got a million invites to Obama supporter groups, when people knew I didn't support him, but I think most of those were people messing around with me.

"...Is sayn im thru fuckn wit ghetto bytchez. I dont owe no hoe ne explaination nor bar down 4 nun. Bytchz stop sayn yall real when u not. Certified uneducated hoez."

Pot, meet kettle.

Good lord. Reading this makes my brain hurt.

Why oh why are you friends with people who communicate like that? :eek:

I can't help who I've met over the years.... :)

At the risk of antagonizing you further today, maybe the other person had the foresight to block this idiot?

eww

I love this thread!!!!

Here are some from today's friend updates....

Person I worked with one summer IM soccer game at 8 (Is it that difficult to say I have a soccer game at 8?)

Random friend of a friend who did it? you know who you are,i am waiting...if you are going to toliet paper someones house why leave whole rolls in the yard for them to get you back with? (There is a story behind this one....)

Yet another random friend of a friend there's a really big gap between getting your ass kicked and having a dancing singing sprite fool u with trickery and then strike your throat b4 u even know... (I am hoping this is a song lyric????)

Jerk who cheated on one of my sorority sisters is going to rock the Nantahala like Meryl Streep! (Did we really need to know that?)

IM means "intramural" not "I'm at"

lol--I was like "Did I post that?!" I had to go back & check. I wish I had put clues in that post. I don't remember who had that status!

I don't even know this person is tryN to FiNISh thiS cAseStUdy for laW but I dne gOT all OFF TraCK.

attended high school with this person MUTHA****AS NEED TO KEEP MY NAME OUT OF THERE MOUTHS!!!!! CAUSE IF YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY KEEP IT TO YOU MUTHA****IN SELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (lol--I had to add a few astericks. Even if I'm quoting someone, I don't really like to drop the f-bomb)

17 y/o cousinSAYN W3 OUTTA SCHOOL 2MRRW,iMA B3 3ATN & SL33PN..! THiNKN ABOUT A LOT THO,BUT iM GOOD iM STR8..! LOVEN JAYD3N AND NiCKLAS,MY SON AND BABYDADDY..! DUH BiTCH3S. (What can I say? You can't choose family. They already think I'm the weird one because I don't have kids @ 26. Plus, I have a BS & I'm halfway finished with my MBA. Yep, I might as well have two heads. I get it from the "adults", too)

little sister's friend()iZ()-- lYk wAtEVe U gOtTa TeLl Me Or TaWk 2 Me HiT mE uP iN dA iNbOx............................................. ................Ya DiGg.

Who???has come 2 da realization dat dis is harder than I thought it would b. 4 sum reason I cant figure out y dat is. Maybe I was lyin to myself da whole time.....

I should delete7:48...7:48..she woke up in padre like...Where,Where,Where are My panties...fukk it its her bday anyway...

wow! loldeleted u off his list but u still lookin at my page through yo homegirls account 2 c wat i got goin. let go... sometimes we as ppl must learn 2 let go lol.

I don't have a clue L0VES:CAl jONES:) N L0VES hER MAiN Wh0RES JASMiNE&tREASURE N MANi M0RE ...! -.hARM0NY L0VEz y0OUU.- ....!


Soooooo, I'm convinced that I need to stop accepting random friend requests, and audit the 1,095 that I have.

Gotta love this. I get this from a one of my family friends. Her daughters have 2 kids each and they're 20 and 21. I may as well be from Mars (24 with no kids and working on an M. Ed.).

SERIOUSLY?

LOL It's an Outkast reference.

It's not that they feel the need to document it... it's the fact that they put it on their Facebook status for everyone to see. Why? This is all getting quite ridiculous. I don't care that your baby's daddy slept with another ho. Or should I say... I don care dat yo baby daddy slep wit anudder ho! (Sorry if I can't butcher the language as well as other people). Hell, I don't even care that you had a sandwich for lunch, and now you're going to class! Shut up, already.

//end rant//

Fortunately, I don't have any friends that completely destroy the English language in their status. The most entertaining ones I could find...

______ suggests getting your pee-gear ready for market square saturday. (I'm assuming he's going out for St. Patty's Day, but um.. what is "pee-gear"??)

______ is i hate girls!!!! THey are fucking bitches except for kim katie tello and kendra love you girls♥ .

______ is wondering why lake titi kaka is not filled with boobs and poop?

Specialness.

[This is not an actual status update, just my own rant]

If you're sick of people bitching about the new Facebook layout, raise your hand!

[/end rant]

*raises hand*

It's not that different from the previous one. I was surprised when the new one popped up, but moved on. A lot of my friends are acting like it's armageddon. It's not that serious, people!

I tried to tell that to my BF, after he wrote on his own wall because he couldn't distinguish the difference between his and his friend's.

I actually like the new layout better... and even made that my status update. There is much less clutter now.

Geez. So many people hate change. Just roll with it people. There are much bigger issues in life to be worked up about. Like people who put all their dirty laundry and personal info out for the world to see, and absolutely murder our language in the process.

So glad that I don't have any examples to post in this thread. My friends seem to use discretion and act somewhat intelligent.

**an aside. We complain when newbies come here and do not use discretion. Now I am starting to see the mindset of that generation... no wonder they act surprised at our :eek: over their posts. They have far worse stuff posted under their real name!

The changes Facebook made a few months was a lot more different than this was. People are just lazy and scared of change. They also think it's violating their human rights or something. Whenever people don't like something on Facebook, they bring up the Constitution or something.

Here's the thing... I don't mind that Facebook changes. It's the fact that it changes so often. Just pick a layout and stick with it already!

I agree with that, it can be frustrating. I am not, however, so upset about it that I have to post it in an angry, grammatically incorrect facebook status!

The newest one from my cousin....

__________ is @ home relaxin wit dyl and cort pictures 2moro yay! my babys gon b lookin 2 cute

little cousin: jus gt my cell fne if anyone da numba hit da inbox

I think I posted this in another thread here, but I'm friends with a few people who work for the various social networking sites (Facebook, etc.). Some of the stories about hate mail they've received after site changes are ridiculous. People get WAY too fired up about the sites, and they go crazy when there's a layout change.

Hate mail? Seriously?

If you're sending hate mail to a Facebook employee, you need to step out of the Fcebook matrix and get a real life. Wow.

This is an interesting one....


A New member who dropped out hopes you get mexican gonaherpasyphilaid warts and your dick falls off!