These qualifiers could've gone without saying. ;) Unintentionally, this is classic "token language."

Senusret: I also think it is cool and part of that has to do with how rare it is.

This is a random thought, but does anyone else think daily of the unique opportunities GC allows for by lumping NPHC, NIC, NPC, and other multicultural groups together?

I've had an interest on how BGLOs work, because although my campus had access to AKA and also Delta (later in my undergrad), "white" fraternities and sororities (who, as I mentioned before, did have African-American actives) had a much more visible presence on campus. I obviously learned a little about them through my new member period, but just names. I didn't have anything to put a picture to.

It wasn't until I was in grad school and lived next to a Pitt undergrad that I learned more about NPHC fraternities. She called me after she crossed, said thanks for answering her questions about NPC sororities as it further solidified in her mind that she should join (or be an interest for?) one of the Divine 9. I told her I was happy to help.

I just thought it was neat that initially she questioned which way she should go, so obviously both were options to her.

I don't know where I'm going with this, yet again.:p

Yes, it is extremely unrealistic. As are internet interactions, in general. :)

I have three little Black legacies (sisters) in my house! :D You should come by.

Ooh... I can see how demeaning that unintentionally came out. :o

The way I intended, but poorly articulated, was that even by our chapter standards she was a standout. She was our chapter's homecoming court nominee, her grades were stellar at a time when the rest of our chapter's grades were average, and those of us who were younger just thought she was the coolest thing ever.

I was attempting to point out that she wasn't taken by our chapter simply for the sake of diversity.. that she was an awesome member that *we* were truly lucky to pledge. Those qualifiers were to emphasize that this was someone who made our chapter better.

KSU, I was responding the SWTXBelle's question, it just got thrown down in the mix.

When I was in college, in the early/mid 70s, we too had a African American member. Since this was the time of Black Power SHE had a difficult time. When she was with her African American friends she would ignore us when she saw us on campus. She explained that it would be "too difficult" to explain membership in a predominately Jewish sorority. She remained a member and graduated as an AEPhi though, so her daughters are legacies.

..Wow. I would probably vote for disaffiliation on that one. That's ridiculous. I can't believe you put up with that!

This just bothers me, but I can't put it into words. Basically I'd want my sister to be proud and open about her membership, but I am white and upper class so I'm not even going to try and articulate what this woman's experience and viewpoint may have been at this time. Just having a conversation yesterday with a friend of a different ethnicity and religion reminded me of how privileged I really am that I am not the recipient of this type of scrutiny of my actions.

Did it bother me that my sister wouldn't/couldn't acknowledge me on campus? Yes. In historical context and in the context of being 18 and trying to grow up, it was a fact of life then. Please notice that I said THEN. But it was such a different world then. There was so much social segregation (note: social) and she caved into the pressure that she felt.

Despite the historical context, she was silly for joining a sorority that she had to hide her affiliation with. The historical context did not just sneak up on her. Maybe she overestimated her ability to handle it and underestimated how much social conditions impact our organizations (you all were 18-19, afterall). Also, if her chapter sisters were more or less oblivious to the racial conditions of the 70s under the bubble of "sisterhood knows no color" then I can see why she'd feel conflicted.

Does anyone know if she's still financial with the sorority?

FTR, society is still very segregated by social class and race. It is manifested in the darndest places like most of our social, service, political, and professional organizations.

It could have been that she came to college from growing up in a predominantly white neighborhood and honestly didn't think it would be a problem. Hell, that STILL goes on.

ORLY?

She wanted to feel special and recruited and chosen.

I'm glad that you are happy with your sorority and you should be. However your comments regarding the Diving 9 are offensive to me in many of the things that you stated.
In regards to the Divine 9, why would you say that it "mattered as to who you 'connect' (connected?) with the most and now 'who's' (whose?) skin color you 'match' (matched?) the most." What does skin color have to do with the Divine 9 in this matter? What makes you think that you WOULD have been selected to begin with? What makes you THINK that you HAVE/HAD what it takes to be a member?
This is what makes me mad as far as you saying that you "had several invites..." and it makes me see why you AREN'T a member of one of the Divine 9.

What libramunoz is trying to say is that we're happy with your choice, too. :)

Do I need to send you to the corner again? LOL.

LOL! No, not this time!

I just think this is one of those situations where your sister isn't really articulating what she means the way she wants it conveyed, and there's no way for an NPHC member to really address it in a way that won't somehow belittle her.

In my opinion, not everyone is cut out for an NPHC kind of selection process and it's completely okay to be seeking something different in your sisterhood.

Or, to put it another way, you sorta have to buy into the NPHC selection process before you start looking around to see which one is the best fit. If you haven't bought into it, it won't work out favorably.

Jocelyn, your mom's a DST, right? I remember reading that somewhere here years ago but I can't remember if it's true or if I'm just making that up, lol.

I thought it was AKA.

LOL.... as my mom would say "That's how lies get out!!!!" lol

One more thing.... I wasn't cut from any selection process etc. I just stopped attending the "stuff" and decided to go another route. First I was just looking around in the NPC option and then I ended up actually joining. People are trying to make it into something that it is not. Something like I didn't "deserve" one so I settled for another. It was nothing like that at all.

I was hoping she simply meant that there were NPHC sororities on her campus. Not that she had been courted by these sororities.

I feel about her comments the way I do about NPHCers who choose to explain why they chose their organization. Since NPHC doesn't have "recruitment," speak on why you chose your organization without mentioning the other organizations.

Well, you certainly should've discussed why you chose your NPC sorority without mentioning the NPHC sororities. The fact that you chose not to speaks volumes.

Because you were attending their "stuff?" Get outta here.

Which means it doesn't register on their radar. It does not mean that it registered on their radar and they COULD'VE been a member but chose a nonNPC sorority.

We have had a NPC-NPHC retro recruitment story on here and it didn't take the tone of "they wanted me...I could've done it...but I rose above the pressures to conform and did my own thing."

Just take this as a valuable lesson.

I sense defensiveness on both sides, which is odd in an otherwise benign conversation.... Dr. Phil, you are supposed to be the professional - diagnose the situation!

Totally off topic - Libramunoz - You are from TEAGUE??? Wow! It's not often that you run across someone from Teague!! I've spent a bit of time there, it's a lovely little town. We have family friends there.

I can tell you that you're using "defensiveness" too loosely.

Yeah, I was trying to not use the word "bitchiness" ;)

Save that word for a less "benign" conversation.

If you don't see the point we're making and why we're making it, it's okay for you to stay out of it. It happens to the best of us.

I was trying to put my finger on what it was about her comments that annoyed me, but I think this was it.

Snaps on being tactful. :)

Lets not worry about why she chose which sorority she chose. Its kind of getting to be ridiculous. I mean, there are like, six filipino girls in my NPC sorority and I've never once thought that they think they're too good to join the Asian Cultural org on campus. And I've never thought the NPHC girls think they're too good to be NPC. I just figured eveyone chose what they wanted to do, because they wanted to do it.
Silly me, I guess I was wrong.

We aren't.

That's very cool. :cool:

Not orignially from Teague. It's a two horse town--literally--especially since the sidewalks are high enough for the horse and carriage! But I've lived here for about 21 years now. As they say in the South down here, whose your kinfolk?:D

Essentially I am saying that I am happy for her with her choice. However, since the Divine 9 isn't something that she knows about other than what she saw or the friends that she knew, it's very hard for her to be able to be specific about talking about one of these organizations if she doesn't know what they are about.
I think what she wanted to say was something else, and yes, Senni, you're correct, she didn't convey it very well. I know that she wanted to pass along her story, it just became convoluted in what she was specifically saying and in what she said, for me, it was offensive.
I know that you weren't trying to be offensive, but more is said in how you say than it can be in what you say. It's like if you and I were sitting down and having a convo, your body lang would say one thing to me and my body lang would say one thing to you. Sometimes it's easy to be saying "I like RTG" and actually be conveying "I hate you" in the same way.

I agree with libramunoz, (although I did research and attend D9 sororities events)

I think instead of my story coming across as I joined a sorority I really liked , it came off as I didnt join a sorority that I didn't like.

Eric Cartman: Oh shit, here we go! It's on! Race War! Race War! Race War! Race wars on everybody! It's going down! Shit is going down!
Stan Marsh: Token, my dad wasn't trying to be offensive, just forget about it.
Token: That's easy for you to say Stan.
Eric Cartman: Yeah, come on, here we go.
Stan Marsh: Yeah, but he didn't say it anger or anything like that.
Token: That doesn't mean I can just be fine.
Eric Cartman: Race war, come on! Race war!
Token: If you really think it's not a big deal, then you really are ignorant. That's all. I'm not fighting anybody.
[Token walks away]
Eric Cartman: Token forfeits. Whites win! Whites win! Race war's over everybody! Whites won again!

LOL

EW---tttttooooo funny! LMAO