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CougarGrad

10-19-2008 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Army Wife'79 (Post 1732866)

Your Greek letters down here are like the difference in driving a Mercedes or a old rusted out jalopy. For 99% of the posters on this thread they may as well be in Happy Rainbow Pony Land if they think it's not like this. Yes, unfortuately a stigma is placed on the "Mom" who, Bless her heart, couldn't even see to it that her D got into the right group. Women have stopped attending Junior League and charity functions after an unsuccessful rush for their daughters. I've only been here 2 years but I've overhead enough at social functions to realize there is Greek and there is "Southern Greeks".

"Right" group?

"Unsuccessful" rush?

It sounds like her daughter is happy and has the potential to thrive in her new sisterhood. That seems right and successful.

ComradesTrue

10-19-2008 01:02 PM

While this one woman may be a troll, unfortunately I have personally known women for whom these thoughts and feelings are true. I grew up in Texas and now live in SEC country and trust me, there are plenty of women who are like this. So the OP may be real, she may not be. But sadly she is representative of a segment of the population throughout the South.

I am *not* defending her/them at all... their whole attitude makes me want to puke. But- they are definitely out there.

magichat

10-19-2008 01:06 PM

While I don't exactly agree with the original poster's sentiments, I understand why she is upset. It is a shitty situation for the mother I suppose, but if her daughter is happy then so be it. I suppose the original poster needs to weigh whether she she would rather her daughter be GDI or be part of a bottom tier group with reputation such as it is.

Elephant Walk

10-19-2008 01:36 PM

It's like giving birth to a future serial killer...

FSUZeta

10-19-2008 02:20 PM

mom, your daughter made a decision that suited her and i believe you said that she is happy. i hope that you will be happy with her. send her a box of her sorority goodies and become an active supporter of your daughter and her chapter. maybe she will be the turning point for her chapter making a come back.

when i was an undergrad at florida state, an absolutely stunning girl came thru recruitment. she had it all-looks, personality, grades, activities and was so sweet-every chapter wanted her on their bid list. she had recs. to all the chapters and we all did our best to convince her that our chapter was the one she should join.

every round, she had more invitations than she could accept. she was definately in the drivers seat.

she was a double legacy to a chapter that was struggling. for pref. she attended parties at the two most competitive chapters on campus and at her legacy chapter. she chose to list her legacy chapter first. everyone on campus was stunned! it is my belief that this began her chapters long road back to an admirable place on campus. it took a while, but nowadays this chapter pledges quota and is above campus total. it has been a long time since her chapter has been the butt of cruel jokes.

this young woman served her chapter in many leadership positions, got involved on campus(before that, few members joined any other orgs.)& won recognition for her academics.she set the example for her sisters and they followed suit. to my knowledge, she never regretted her decision. to those of us on the outside, she always appeared happy and proud of her chapter. maybe your daughter will do the same for her chapter.

APhiAnna

10-19-2008 02:48 PM

I will be honest and say that my chapter is a strong one on our campus. We pledge the PNMs we want, socialize with the "top" fraternities, raise lots of money for our philanthropy, high grades, high activities, "moves and shakers", etc. If I wasn't a legacy it is very doubtful I would have received a bid because I am pretty different from many of the sisters, but I still connect with them and have a good time.

On the other hand there is a woman who we pledged at one point who was the biological sister of an older active. She does not even come close to fitting in and I think her sorority experience has been incredibly discouraging. She has the most incredible socials...yet she doesn't attend because she doesn't feel comfortable with the girls OR the guys. Her pledge sisters are "movers and shakers" (to use your term)...but it is a moot point because she just does not have anything in common with them. She has all the "social status" on campus she needs...but she honestly could care less about that because she has had such little fun in her sorority.

She is an incredible woman and we were excited to pledge her based on her grades, her stunning activities, her fun personality, etc. But in the end, even though she has incredible morals and a strong personality, she just does not fit in and hates her sorority. I honestly think the only reason she is still in it is because of her sister's pressure to finish it out.

The point is is that she would THRIVE at so many of the chapters at our campus. What if that was your daughter? The girl in the chapter who struggles to even make small-talk with her sisters, all the while knowing there are other sororities where she would have multiple best friends? I feel so bad for this girl and I always make it a point to include her on the rare occasions when she comes to the house, but even then I know I'm not her favorite person...we just don't click.

Please be happy that your daughter is somewhere where there are women she gets along with and has fun with. Even if you are a troll I understand this is a prevalent attitude (not just in the South) and wanted to throw my 2 cents in.

rufio

10-19-2008 03:14 PM

ΑΓΔSquirrel10

10-19-2008 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sail100 (Post 1732719)

My daughter went through rush this fall. I didn't expect her to go through, and since she's a bit on the shy side I really didn't encourage it knowing how stressful and heartbreaking it can be. Background - we live in a very competitive region of the country and live in a small town, and she knew only a few girl going to this college who are in sororities. Although she's very cute, she's never been obsessed about style and makeup; probably because she is the only daughter in a family of several boys. I tried to do what I could to help her have a successful rush based on my past experinece - nice clothes and accessories, mani/pedi, conversational coaching, makeup, etc. but I knew it would be very tough. To say she was cut heavily would be an understatment. By round two she only got invited back to two parties (I won't say how many different sororities there are at her campus other than it's in the double digits). These two were the bottom of the barrel reputation wise. At this point I tried to get her to drop out, maybe make some friends during the semester and try for spring rush or again next fall. Yes, it would have limited her choices, but she could at least have had a chance for some others. She refused to drop out. Pref night she was down to one party and received a bid to the smallest house on campus. She accepted and is in her pledge period.

She seems ok with it, but I'm going to come right out and say it even though I may get a lot of angry comments. I'm embarassed for her. I really don't even want to tell my friends what she pledged because I can tell they are shocked. It is common knowledge in our state, among those knowledgeable of Greek life at this university, that this house is the absolute bottom. They rarely make quota and constantly have to COR as well as spring rush. I have seen their social calendar and it is really lacking. They have few activites, and they basically don't have any mixers. Greek life is big at her campus, and most sorority calendars are packed with many social activities.

I guess this is so upsetting because I know exactly how much fun being in a sorority can be. I was in a sorority(not this school) that was considered very solid. Every rush we got many of the girls we wanted, we had mixers with great fraternities, my fellow sisters were the campus movers and shakers. I was so proud to wear my letters. To this day it still means something in our state to say I'm an "XYZ". I'm afraid she'll eventually figure this all out and realize she made a huge mistake. I want to encourage her to drop out before initiation and a commitment is made. Time is running out. I would like some advice from any moms who have been in my shoes - feel free to PM me, as I understand this is a sensitive topic.

Guess what? IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!!!! I really hope that you aren't Alpha Gam, because I would be ashamed to call you my sister. You need to shut up and stop thinking of yourself over your daughter! She is happy where she's at, and it was HER decision; not your own.

sail100

10-19-2008 03:57 PM

I simply want my daughter to have the same kinds of wonderful experiences and memories I did, and I think she would definitely be shortchanging herself in this organization. I'm even afraid that they may close this chapter down in a few years if their numbers don't improve. That would be a terrible thing to go through.

Yes this is the South, and some posters get it. It is really impossible to explain to those who don't live here. I remember going through rush in the 80's and how my roommate's best friend got cut from her legacy house and eventually was released from all houses. Her mother got countless condolence calls from her sorority alumnae as well as from her friends in other sororities.

I suspect she may be aware of the limited opportunities she may have in this house, but I think I need to make sure she is fully aware before committing to this. Her happiness at receiving a bit may be coloring her judgment.Despite what many of you think, I did send her the requisite sorority goody basket on bid day, and tried to be happy for her. I have not made tacky or hurtful comments to her.

I have received some very kind PM's, and for that I am grateful. They have given me some things to think about and have put some issues in perspective.

love9life

10-19-2008 04:02 PM

Well shes happy and thats all that matter. You should get a life and stop worrying what YOUR friends think. She likes where shes at and leave it at that your phsco crazed mom.

You really come on as one of those moms that tries to lvie there lives out of thiers D. so really just stop and be quiet!

paulam

10-19-2008 04:34 PM

Worst Mom of the Century

...and the award goes to...Sail100! If your daughter had a choice to pref another mother, Joan Crawford or you, I would hope she would choose the other one as her first choice. At least Joan Crawford made no pretense of actually loving her daughter. The child was important only insofar as she advanced her mother's reputation, social standing and career. Your daughter's choices in life as an adult are not yours to make and if others judge you badly for the choices she makes, then it's their problem, not yours. How insecure you must be to have to depend on others' opinions to have a good opinion of yourself. Most of us outgrow that in high school.

I live in the south and yes, sororities are important but they are not the be all, end all. This sorority giving your daughter a chance to finally blossom out from under you is the best thing that could have happened to her. By the time she graduates, she will become a wonderful, lovely, active and confident young woman. Will you still feel ashamed of the choice she made?

Paula M
Sigma Delta Tau
Patre Multi Spes Una
One Hope of Many People

Buttonz

10-19-2008 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paulam (Post 1732948)

Paula,

I knew there was a reason I was proud to call you my sister. This post just shows me some of it. :)

KSUViolet06

10-19-2008 04:43 PM

Ok. so this is apparently a common sentiment in the South.

At what point does a mom let go though? I mean, at what point does mom say "this is not my life, it's hers and she can do what she pleases?"

Do Southern moms whose kids don't join "top tier" chapters spend their whole lives dwelling on it and being embarrassed?

These are serious questions. I've only even lived in California and Ohio, so I'm reasonably clueless about this sort of mother/daughter dynamic when it comes to sorority life. I've heard of moms being upset when maybe daughter doesn't get into Harvard, but even they get over it--and I just don't see sorority life as important enough to dwell on like this.

nittanyalum

10-19-2008 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by APhiAnna (Post 1732918)

This is a GREAT post.

kddani

10-19-2008 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jen (Post 1732872)

But you all know there are mom's exactly like this here, even if this is a sockpuppet post.

Seriously. Even if she's not real, there are plenty of women like her on GC. Who knows, some of which may have already posted in this thread....:(

Munchkin03

10-19-2008 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1732953)

At what point does a mom let go though? I mean, at what point does mom say "this is not my life, it's hers and she can do what she pleases?"

It depends...ever heard of Momzillas? In some areas of the country, it's sororities. Others, it's sports like cheerleading, gymnastics, and figure-skating.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1732953)

Do Southern moms whose kids don't join "top tier" chapters spend their whole lives dwelling on it and being embarrassed?

Some of them do, others don't. It depends on the specific town and how prominent they are within them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1732953)

These are serious questions. I've only even lived in California and Ohio, so I'm reasonably clueless about this sort of mother/daughter dynamic when it comes to sorority life. I've heard of moms being upset when maybe daughter doesn't get into Harvard, but even they get over it--and I just don't see sorority life as important enough to dwell on like this.

But, and this is something I only understand because of where I grew up, for some mothers, THIS IS THEIR HARVARD. In some circles, what sorority you joined at Fillintheblank U. dictates what their friends are going to be like, who they marry, and what their lives will be like as adults. I'm not saying that this is right, but this mentality is very real.

I won't lie, there are organizations that I might recoil if my daughter were to join, but I'd try my hardest to get over it. It may be harder, however, depending on the organization. :p

UGAalum94

10-19-2008 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1732953)

It is not a common sentiment in the south. In the south, the reputations of college chapters may play big in hometowns, but it's not normal or common for mothers to want daughters to drop chapters that the daughters are apparently happy in.

I think it's common or normal for mom's to feel disappointed when their daughters don't end up in the chapters that they want, but not to do what this mom is doing in terms of debating whether to encourage her daughter to drop before initiation.

It would be far more common for everyone to appreciate that mother and daughter might be disappointed, but to admire them more for supporting the chapter who actually wanted to offer membership to the girl.

Seriously, I've never seen a case in real life in which a mom remained ashamed of her daughter's chapter months after bid day.

Jen	10-19-2008 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sail100 (Post 1732941)

I simply want my daughter to have the same kinds of wonderful experiences and memories I did

How do you know she won't? How do you know anything about what your daughter will make her experience? You can't know until it's happened. You are looking at her experience in terms of YOUR life, YOUR requirements to be happy, YOUR personality and YOUR longing for the old days.

Quote:

I suspect she may be aware of the limited opportunities she may have in this house, but I think I need to make sure she is fully aware before committing to this. Her happiness at receiving a bit may be coloring her judgment. Despite what many of you think, I did send her the requisite sorority goody basket on bid day, and tried to be happy for her. I have not made tacky or hurtful comments to her.

Do you not think she doesn't know how you feel? Do you think you're really that good at hiding your true feelings? On some level, she knows you're disappointed. There's a good chance she feels like she's disappointed you as a daughter if she knows how focused on being "the best" you are. The limitations you think she is feeling may be ones you're putting on her rather than ones the Greek system or her new sorority are.

What if she really loves where she is, but she knows you're upset about it? What if she's the type of person to depledge her group just to make you happy, be a good daughter, and in the process, makes herself completely miserable? Is that really what you want for her?

You have to trust her to make the decision that is right for her - REGARDLESS of what it is. If she decides to stay and the chapter is closed in a year or two and she's upset over it - HER problem.

If she gets initiated then realizes she's miserable - HER problem.

She has all the information she needs to make her decision on her own.

UGAalum94

10-19-2008 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03 (Post 1732963)

Some of them do, others don't. It depends on the specific town and how prominent they are within them.

But I tend to think the more authentically prominent you are, the less it matters. It's the social climbers who will be heartbroken.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03 (Post 1732963)

This may partially true, but I don't think that if your family already had the status, your GLO changes your fate.

I think family status often affects a girl's rush and if you expect to meet your spouse at college, which sorority you are in may affect which guys you meet. But for a girl from a family with high status, especially one with a bunch of brothers like the OP, I doubt it's going to matter that much.

Munchkin03

10-19-2008 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UGAalum94 (Post 1732973)

But I tend to think the more authentically prominent you are, the less it matters. It's the social climbers who will be heartbroken.

This may partially true, but I don't think that if your family already had the status, your GLO changes your fate.

I think family status often affects a girls rush and if you expect to meet your spouse at college, which sorority you are in may affect which guys you meet. But for a girl from a family with high status, especially one with a bunch of brothers like the OP, I doubt it's going to matter that much.

This is why I said the crucial qualifier, "in some circles ."

KSUViolet06

10-19-2008 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03 (Post 1732963)

It depends...ever heard of Momzillas? In some areas of the country, it's sororities. Others, it's sports like cheerleading, gymnastics, and figure-skating.

My mom coached cheerleading in the fast, so I do kind of understand this. She dealt with Momzillas on a fairly regular basis.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03 (Post 1732963)

For some mothers, THIS IS THEIR HARVARD. In some circles, what sorority you joined at Fillintheblank U. dictates what their friends are going to be like, who they marry, and what their lives will be like as adults. I'm not saying that this is right, but this mentality is very real.

I see.

MaggieXi

10-19-2008 05:38 PM

I preface this by saying I have limited knowledge to know or understand what it must be like for someone who is going through recruitment in the highly competitive universities in the south. However, that being said, if the OP knew where the daughter was going to school, knew she was going through recruitment, knew or had a reasonable belief that this could be the outcome, why didn't the OP do everything in her power to prepare her daughter for recruitment? And/or prepare herself (the OP) for this type of outcome?
I'm not talking about buying new clothes, or wearing make-up or getting nails done, I'm talking about investing in a little panhellenic spirit and education.

BTW - if I were OP's daughter and stumbled upon this thread I would be mortified and furious! Even worse would be if someone from OP's daughter's new chapter were to find this and confront her about it.

UGAalum94

10-19-2008 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03 (Post 1732976)

This is why I said the crucial qualifier, "in some circles ."

I just didn't want people to take away that it was the most socially prominent circles. It's the circles that still need a whole lot of external validation who are most bummed.

KSUViolet06

10-19-2008 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieXi (Post 1732986)

BTW - if I were OP's daughter and stumbled upon this thread I would be mortified and furious! Even worse would be if someone from OP's daughter's new chapter were to find this and confront her about it.

Seriously. If I found out that my mom were that concerned about the sorority I joined, I'd be mortified.

exlurker

10-19-2008 05:52 PM

UGalum94 and Munchkin03, well said!

kapsigcub

10-19-2008 06:07 PM

Elaborate Scenario Troll

Bamamom13

10-19-2008 06:20 PM

I do live in the south and know that people have this prevailing attitude. But, I, for one, just want my daughter to be happy. My daughter had a terrible rush her freshman year and withdrew. I was not embarrassed. I was very proud of the way she picked herself up, had a great freshman year and rerushed at a very competitive school and had a great rush the second go round. It was all her doing and that is as it should be. I agree that if the OP's daughter found this thread, she would be mortified, but, how many other girls could possibly think that this is their mom? By this mom putting her feelings in an open forum, many other daughters may get hurt feelings.

NutBrnHair

10-19-2008 07:00 PM

I know you never thought I'd say this, but...

Seriously, I'm changing my signature right now. Certainly I can understand a PNM (and mother) wanting to be a member of a group which is perceived as "successful," but really...if your daughter is happy -- that is ALL that matters.

As a parent, if I thought my friends were looking down on my daughter's choice of sorority, I would be bold and firm in my statements of how happy she is and how great it all is.

ellebud

10-19-2008 07:01 PM

The OP is not a troll. I have an acquaintance who's daughter just finished rushing at a fairly noncompetitive western campus. The daughter decided to rush at the last minute so she didn't have any recs nor did she have the "right" clothes. (For Pref she wore a dress that her much older mother had picked out for a "good" occasion...it had a huge bow in the back and the girl isn't skinny.)

The pnm is now a pledge at a house (Yeah for her!). MY acquaintance was hysterical because her daughter was with "nerds". Equally, if not more upsetting for the mother was the fact that one of her daughter's ex best friends got into the "best" house. (The fact that in the dictionary under "nerd" is the mom's high school picture is beside the point.) I tried talking to the mom...but she is simply too upset.

The girl's reaction? "Mom, some of us may have pimples, some of us need to lose weight...but we're nice girls. And I am happy."

And, if anyone doubts the school/sorority story, pm me and if you really need to know, I'll tell you the school and the house.

CougarGrad

10-19-2008 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellebud (Post 1733020)

The girl's reaction? "Mom, some of us may have pimples, some of us need to lose weight...but we're nice girls. And I am happy."

Bravo for her! If she feels good where she is, that's what matters.

AEcutiePhi

10-19-2008 09:26 PM

This is pathetic. My sorority is one of the smaller ones on campus and I LOVE IT. You actually know all of your sisters. Can you imagine being shy and being dropped into a house with a lot of girls? When your shy that isn't something you want. Speaking from experience starting with a smaller group of people made my adjustment to campus life a million times better and then I started to branch out. Let your daughter make her own choices because she is the only one who has a say whether or not she made the right decision!

ZTAMich

10-19-2008 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sail100 (Post 1732941)

I have received some very kind PM's, and for that I am grateful. They have given me some things to think about and have put some issues in perspective.

And yet none of those people are here in this thread to offer any kind words. Fishy.

violetpretty

10-19-2008 09:59 PM

I understand that there is intense pressure in the South to be in the "right" group, but I can't Sure, the OP could very well be a troll (she's even received PMs from people who agree with her!), but even if she is, there probably are mothers and daughters who have been in the same situation.

Actually, I take that "probably" back. I have heard of a specific situation like this. Daughter goes through recruitment, only has one chapter at pref (bottom, struggling chapter), and ranks it because she likes it. Daughter gets a bid. Mother goes nuts, gets angry at the members of the chapter and Panhellenic for "tricking" her daughter into joining such an inferior group. In fact, the mother gets so angry that she threatens to stop paying for her daughter's tuition if she does not depledge the group. So, the daughter does depledge and joins a "top" group the following year via in-house legacy status. Apparently she dove right in during her new member period and became very active, but I wonder if she actually fit in there.

Ignoring the un-panhellenic-ness or even the sorority context of the situation, the most disgusting aspect of the OP's post is that she can't be happy when her daughter is happy. That she would ask her daughter to give up her happiness to appease her mother who is dependent on others for self-gratification. The OP basically has said that she thinks that the others in her life are more important than her daughter. It's a totally different situation than a mom being upset alongside her daughter because she did not get the chapter she wanted.

Mom, I have news for you. Membership in any NPC sorority provides opportunities for personal growth and great memories, no matter the tier or the social climate. Membership is what you make of it.

kappalove17

10-19-2008 10:01 PM

Wow...I think people need to be nicer. She's not the worst mom in the world. Bad moms don't care. This woman clearly does care, maybe a little TOO much. Since I am originally from the south, I can understand the situation. Luckily I go to school elsewhere and didn't have to deal with quite so much pressure. I can honestly understand being embarrassed, but only because, lets face it- we ALL think our sorority is the best. If I had a daughter and the kappa chapter at her school cut her, I would be heartbroken too. I think this mom means well, but is having a little trouble letting go. And maybe she is concerned because she knows her daughter well and thinks she would be better off elsewhere. If this girl were really socially awkward, I dont know that any mom would pressure them to join a sorority...

to the OP: A family friend's daughter went through recruitment at FSU this year, and we thought she'd have an easy time. She's smart, adorable, athletic, and very funny. She's a legacy to a top notch sorority on campus, and she had recs to several of the chapters as well.

I was shocked to find out that she had been dropped by almost all chapters by the first couple days, and only preffed one. The sorority is probably what most would call one of the more "unpopular" sororities on campus, and we were all very disappointed for her- until we saw how much she loved this group of girls. She is having a great time, and has absolutely no fear wearing letters and telling everyone of her pride to her sorority. It may not be what we wanted for her, but it ended up being the perfect fit. So if you feel its your duty to make sure she knows the commitment she's making, I'm all for that!! Not enough people realize when they initiate into a sorority, its for life. But if she seems satisfied with her choice, the only thing you can do is be happy for her. And when your friends ask what she joined, DO NOT lie or avoid the subject...just tell them how much she's enjoying herself.

violetpretty

10-19-2008 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kappalove17 (Post 1733113)

Wow...I think people need to be nicer.

I'm just going to chuckle at the impending comments you'll get for this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kappalove17 (Post 1733113)

She's not the worst mom in the world. Bad moms don't care. This woman clearly does care, maybe a little TOO much.

That's your opinion. I think overinvolvement and trying to live vicariously can be just as damaging as moms who "don't care", just in very different ways.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kappalove17 (Post 1733113)

I was shocked to find out that she had been dropped by almost all chapters by the first couple days, and only preffed one. The sorority is probably what most would call one of the more "unpopular" sororities on campus, and we were all very disappointed for her- until we saw how much she loved this group of girls. She is having a great time, and has absolutely no fear wearing letters and telling everyone of her pride to her sorority.

Unlike the OP, you decided that you could be happy for this girl when you saw that she was happy. That's how it should be.

shadden

10-19-2008 10:42 PM

I have read the original e-mail several times, and just can't see why everyone sees her the absolute worst mom. I think it is natural for a mother to want their children to have great experiences that last not just through but beyond college. Having been in a chapter that had just recolonized myself when I was in school, there are certainly pluses to being in a small house, but it is alot of work also. Obviously sail's daughter is up for the challenge, and she may be a huge asset to this chapter. But, if the mom's own sorority experience was good, she can't help but want the same experiences for her child.

KSUViolet06

10-19-2008 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadden (Post 1733139)

Of course you want that, but I think trying to get her to drop crosses a bit of a line (that's just my opinion).

kappalove17

10-19-2008 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by violetpretty (Post 1733122)

I'm just going to chuckle at the impending comments you'll get for this.

That's your opinion. I think overinvolvement and trying to live vicariously can be just as damaging as moms who "don't care", just in very different ways.

Unlike the OP, you decided that you could be happy for this girl when you saw that she was happy. That's how it should be.

I wrote that story to point out that she DOES need to be happy for her daughter. Not to call her a bitch for being disappointed. I agree that over-involved pageant moms can be very detrimental as well I was just pointing out that its not anyone's place to judge motherhood skills via an online post.

LightBulb

10-19-2008 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by violetpretty (Post 1733111)

The OP basically has said that she thinks that the others in her life are more important than her daughter. It's a totally different situation than a mom being upset alongside her daughter because she did not get the chapter she wanted.

Well said.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kappalove17 (Post 1733113)

So if you feel its your duty to make sure she knows the commitment she's making, I'm all for that!! Not enough people realize when they initiate into a sorority, its for life. But if she seems satisfied with her choice, the only thing you can do is be happy for her. And when your friends ask what she joined, DO NOT lie or avoid the subject...just tell them how much she's enjoying herself.

You too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kappalove17 (Post 1733142)

...I was just pointing out that its not anyone's place to judge motherhood skills via an online post.

True.

agzg	10-19-2008 11:51 PM

What may be "bottom tier" on your daughter's campus or in your state may be "top tier" at other campuses.

Seriously. You're forgetting the OTHER 3/4 of the country. And Canada. And don't forget those off the mainland, like Hawaii. Come on. What if your daughter's organization is top tier in Hawaii? That's awesome because it gives her a reason to visit.

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