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-   -   Girls Lavilering Girlfriends? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=99988)

33girl 09-30-2008 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by APhiAnna (Post 1725020)
I actually agree that the main problem would be a girl wearing sorority letters who isn't in the sorority...I can see a girl wearing fraternity letters that have been lavaliered because it is fairly obvious that she would not be a Sigma Chi or SAE or whatever, but a girl wearing Kappa or DG or Theta letters? Not only would it not be allowed by HQ but it would make her look like a member of that respective sorority which she obviously isn't.

Yep. This is my main issue with it.

Maybe get her a necklace that has the sorority's jewel in it?

ree-Xi 09-30-2008 12:09 PM

Since lavaliering is traditionally done by a fraternity member (man), the issue here is that someone in a sorority wants to give her letters to a significant other.

As with many traditions, things are done a certain way because that's the way they have always been done. If there is no tradition within sororities (and that is what you are asking, if it is appropriate for a sorority WOMAN to give her letters to a significant other), then it's likely a moot point.

It appears that you care about tradition, or you would not have asked. So the general consensus of those posting says that it would not be appropriate. The other issue is that lavaliering traditionally occurs between a couple where both people were Greek.

On the other hand, as lavaliering was traditionally/often a precursor to engagement in previous generations, it was an "open" announcement to others that the couple was very serious. It was likely intended to be something not done casually. People may wonder, are you intending to marry your girlfriend?

So you can either adhere to tradition, and accept that sorority women don't give away their letters to anyone, or you can chose to use lavaliering as a "pre-engagement" statement (not sure if that's where your relationship is headed).

It is your choice, but don't be surprised if your sisters or other Greeks disapprove. Personally, I would leave your letters out of it. There are other ways of making a gesture to your girlfriend/significant other.

APhiAnna 09-30-2008 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jen (Post 1725160)
I like the idea of a necklace with the group's symbol or jewel.

I agree, that's really cute!

OhThatGirl88 09-30-2008 01:57 PM

Bucking Tradition
 
My Fiance lavaliered me before we got engaged. I'm not Greek (yet) and at first I was exceptionally hesitant about wearing his letters. It wasn't until I met both his big and his little (who live halfway across the country from us) and they gave us their blessing that I truly felt comfortable wearing his letters.

But I digress- Tread lightly around tradition. if your girl isn't Greek, she might not understand the significance of your letters to yourself and your sisters. It was only because I am a part of a non-GLO secret society that my FI knew I would understand the significance.

sopranology 09-30-2008 05:15 PM

Someone mentioned it before, but the tradition started (and is still usually kept) that only men laviler their significant others, so it surprises me that this situation hasn't been flipped. What if a member of a men's fraternity wanted to give his letters to his male partner?

wptw 10-01-2008 03:41 PM

lol @ impeding nuptials

I do find those dang nuptials really hold me back sometimes!!

wptw

(I have no idea what nupitals are. Maybe try the Kappa Alpha Psi forum?)

Unregistered- 10-01-2008 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wptw (Post 1725832)
lol @ impeding nuptials

I do find those dang nuptials really hold me back sometimes!!

wptw

(I have no idea what nupitals are. Maybe try the Kappa Alpha Psi forum?)

LOL.

Glad to see you posting again, wptw.

DraconisAmante 03-01-2009 03:33 PM

Thanks for all the input. I do apologize for not returning to this thread for a while. I did speak with several sisters in the chapter and they had no problem with the idea. My girlfriend respects my letters because she knows how much they mean to me, and understands to behavior that comes along with wearing those greek letters. To the poster who asked if I intend to marry her, yes if this stupid society ever decides to realize that the gay and lesbian members of society are just as important as the straight members. Gays and Lesbians have done great things for this society and not recognizing the community puts me in the mind frame of slavery all over again. True we're not being bought and sold, but we're being persecuted and not acknowledged as humans with the right to love and be loved.

And I did lavalier her. And I intend to ask her to marry me soon.

CUTKE538 03-07-2009 01:07 PM

I think you did the right thing in requesting imput from others, and discussing the matter with your sisters. I like the idea of giving a necklace or chain with letters on them quite a bit, and might be more appropriate for for same sex male couples. It would be something I would consider.


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