I edited my post, once I saw that you did attend #1 and #2. Sorry about that.

As for the computer "freaking out" if you put down 2 choices only, that's Panhell's problem, not yours.

FWIW, I do feel your pain. I think you were giving some bad advice by the Rho Chi, as was I, when I rushed and I also ending up turning down my bid. I do not regret it, but I do regret listening to the advice of the Rho Chi. I would rather have gone bidless, than received a bid from a group that I didn't want.

If it didn't feel right, that's your instincts telling you something. I'm sorry that the result was disappointing but I think it's better to be a GDI than unhappy in the wrong group.

Panhellenic recruitment bid ranking is a process and I can tell you from experience that because your friend has a vote it does not count more in bid matching from a Panhellenic stand point. And yes, it does sound weird.

What I can tell you is that while your 3rd choice may not have been your favorite. it would have been great to give them a chance.

I do wish you the best.

I'm not sure when bid day was, however, could you call the panhellenic office and reconsider the bid? Its just a suggestion. If it is not something you want to do, then don't . But it might be worth a try if interested.

Thanks that def makes me feel better. I just wish I hadn't thought I had to put down all 3. I def would have rather not had a bid. Then I could have done informal in the spring. But since I turned down my bid now I can't.

I'm glad I went through recruitment because I did meet a lot of great girls and it totally shattered all the stereotypes that I had before. At least I came away with some new friends.

Seconding this advice.

Seems like you have a good attitude about the whole thing after reflecting on it. Good luck to you.

Do you think I could talk to the Greek Life office about letting me do informal recruitment in the spring? Even though I signed my pref card? It said that if you turn down a bid (like I did) that you're ineligible for a year. My Rho Chi really led me to believe that I had to put all three of the sororities I went to on my preference card. Even though after she went over the rules I told her I wouldn't be comfortable with my 3rd choice.

I don't know how I'm going to feel about joining a sorority a semester from now, but I feel like I was misinformed. I doubt the Greek life office will care that I misunderstood. But I wanted to get y'alls opinion on trying to go that route. I really don't want to get my Rho Chi or anyone in trouble though. Would talking to Greek Life be stir up more trouble than it's worth?

You can talk to them about it but it will do no good. You signed a card that commits you to group 3 for one year. The earliest that you can go through any type of recruitment is fall 2009. Sorry you feel that you feel that you were misled but it's done.

That's what I figured. Darn.

Also, by spring you may have changed your tune and find the group that you rejected to be more appealing and something you would like to pursue. It does happen.

(And this is just a wild guess, but I'm betting that the groups that you didn't get won't be doing informal in the spring anyway, and the group that you turned down will - so the result is exactly the same.)

I hate dumb Recruitment Counselors!!!:mad::mad::mad: Well, I don't know if she was dumb or intentionally deceitful. Either way, it's BS that she told you the "computer would freak out" if you only put 2 choices. Not true in the least. You deserved honesty.

Definitely let the Greek Life Office know about your situation. It won't change your situation, but it might make them reconsider their Recruitment Counselor training, whether the RCs simply need to be more knowledgeable or if there is a "you MUST rank all the chapters so we can place every PNM no matter if some are unhappy" attitude. Maybe your story will prevent this from happening in the future.

There is still no way you'd be able to do informal recruitment in the spring. The only thing you might be able to talk Greek Life and/or 3rd choice chapter into is you wanting to reaccept your bid to 3rd choice chapter if possible. That is, if there is still space available. One year my chapter had a girl drop out the day after bid day (we made quota so there was only one spot), and we filled her spot with a PNM who had dropped out after pref.

ETA: Your other questions do venture into the realm of membership selection, and you'll never know how any chapter does it other than the one you're in. It's doubtful that certain members votes count more, but certain people are better at explaining how they feel about a PNM and convincing others to vote with them, so it may be this reason that one may think that certain members' votes carry more weight.

I can tell you that 3rd choice chapter liking you didn't ruin your chances at your 1st or 2nd choices. You were simply not high enough on either of their lists. If you had not ranked 3rd choice chapter, you would have ended up bidless.

I don't think the PX had deceitful intentions, but whatever it was, her words were definitely misleading. She should have simply said, "Whatever group(s) you mark down, there is a possibility of getting a bid extended to you by that group".

SIGH.

Some schools and Greek systems are really into maximizing your options. I know at the university where I advise a chapter, they very heavily stress that not putting down the max number of chapters on your preference card can negatively affect your recruitment results. Of course, your results would have been the same either way... as others explained, you did not match with your first two choices regardless of any chapter members' voting power.

And honestly, many girls would much rather get a bid to their 3rd choice than go bidless. I'm sorry that you were disappointed.

And... on the off chance that you went through recruitment at the school where I advise... we have done very well over the past few years at placing almost all the girls in their sorority homes, but it's not true that everyone gets their 1st or 2nd choice.

I agree with VioletPretty. The chapter you rejected may still be willing to accept you into it's new member class. Often times a chapter can re-extend you a bid if it hasn't reached total.

A humble request such as this could work.

“I enjoyed meeting your members but I just wasn’t sure about joining when I received the bid, which is why I declined. But I’m afraid that I reacted hastily. After more thought, I’ve realized that I am interested in becoming a member of Beta Beta Beta sorority. Based on this, are you interested in re-extending the bid to me?”

This message would be best delivered on your behalf by a member of your Panhellenic Council. Fortunately, many or most of the women in that chapter have been through formal recruitment and fully understand the stress and emotions of it all. They will empathize with your feelings.

Let's assume that you want to give it a try. The benefit of your current position is this: You can experience GLOs in that 3rd choice sorority this year and still walk away from that chapter at a later date. Right now you can't participate in recruitment until next fall. If you give the chapter a try, and later resign your membership, you will be in the same position. You can participate in formal recruitment next fall.

Let’s look at your other option. You may choose to remain disaffiliated altogether this year. Again, you can participate in formal recruitment next fall. You'd likely do so with sorority choice 1 and sorority choice 2 in mind. If so, it wouldn't hurt to develop friendships with women in those chapters during the school year. Demonstrate that you are a quality potential member. Get involved on campus with some "visible" organizations. Take on leadership roles. Show your ability to be a good time manager. Demonstrate your maturity. Don't let your fantastic GPA slide. Try to exude a positive attitude all the time. Be the great representative now that they are seeking in their membership.

Of course, I hope you will see if you can reverse your bid rejection situation.

In case you are wondering, there is no rule that prevents a sorority from extending a bid to a woman that it released during a prior recruitment.

You should also know that it is possible that another woman who DID want to join that chapter (your third choice) did NOT receive HER bid because she was the next person on this chapter's bid list after it closed/met quota. So, there may be another woman on your campus who was released from that chapter, or worse, released altogether from recruitment as a result of your taking that quota spot that you did not want. It is possible and it has happened.

Keep us up to date and good luck with your decision.