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Unregistered- 08-24-2008 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by violetpretty (Post 1704032)
Is it the concept of using code names that you don't like or just that some peoples' code names are stupid?

Honestly? I think both using code names and some users' choice of code names are pretty stupid. I understand the reasoning behind using code names and respect that, but that doesn't really change my opinion of it.

Of course I come from the era of GreekChat where it was okay to name names because there weren't any nosy, psycho GCers to compromise the rushee's experience. There weren't a lot of naive rushee twits back then, either. This was a very different place a mere few years ago, and I miss it.

I guess I'm just spoiled.

disasterscookie, have a fabulous rush. I visited Flagstaff last April and absolutely loved my time there.

ASUADPi 08-25-2008 12:02 AM

disasterscookie-good luck at rush. My former roommate (and sorority sister) graduated from NAU. I thought about going up there, but I'm a Phoenix girl and I can't handle the cold winters (i.e. snow!).

I'm looking forward to hearing your story, especially since it's an AZ story! Woo Hoo!!!!! :D

Low C Sharp 08-25-2008 10:36 AM

Quote:

About how I was depressed and that was like breathing gelatin.
I've been wondering about that for years!
________

nauadpi 08-25-2008 12:32 PM

I love hearing recruitment stories from my alma mater... Have fun and keep an open mind...

disasterscookie 08-26-2008 11:19 AM

Rush Starts in T-minus 3 days!
I am so ready to razzle-dazzle 'em!
Haha!

disasterscookie 08-26-2008 12:04 PM

Random Question?
 
I talked to the lady at Greek Life about this, but sometimes I think that these people are a little naieve to the inner workings of sororities.

I'm married. No children, just a husband (which is like having a child). The lady at Greek Life assured me that this fact should not completely handicap me because the only issue that would arise from this is the fact that I cannot live in. She assured me that most of the sororities are at capacity and my not being able to live in probably won't propose an issue.

I have been thinking about how to address the question, which I am assuming will be asked, about my being married, how it will affect me, etc. My planned response is "I am doing the same thing as everyone else that is here, pursuing my education, career, and dreams. I was just lucky enough to fall madly in love on the way." Does this seem like a respectable answer? I love being married, but I also love the idea of being involved in a sorority. I want both, and I know I can have both, and handle the responsibilities that come with each.

Any suggestions?

Kansas City 08-26-2008 12:07 PM

Don't bring it up unless asked. You might be suprised how few women notice your wedding ring. I would however want to find out more specifics about each sorority's live-in policy as it might limit your involvement in the sorority later (ex: exec members must live in the house).

disasterscookie 08-26-2008 12:11 PM

Isn't that kind of lying, if I don't bring it up? I don't want to get a bid to the house of my dreams and then have to bring up later that I am married and cannot live in.

The sororities on my campus do ask that you try to live in for a minimum of 2 years, but like I said, they are all pretty much at capacity.

Kansas City 08-26-2008 12:14 PM

No ... it is only lying if you do not disclose that you are married when asked. You should be honest if it comes up in conversation and your living arrangements should be a factor in selecting the "house of your dreams" but your marriage should probably come before living in a house with a bunch of 19-year olds. I only suggest that you take live-in policies into consideration when deciding which sorority is best for you.

violetpretty 08-26-2008 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disasterscookie (Post 1705632)
Isn't that kind of lying, if I don't bring it up? I don't want to get a bid to the house of my dreams and then have to bring up later that I am married and cannot live in.

The sororities on my campus do ask that you try to live in for a minimum of 2 years, but like I said, they are all pretty much at capacity.

If you do get a bid first and bring up your marital status later, I don't think the chapter can kick you out simply for not being able to live in because you are married. They could potentially take action if there were no reason for you to not want to live in. There are medical reasons why PNMs may not be able to live in a sorority house, and that alone probably won't work against you, especially if the chapters have no problem filling their spaces.

Each NPC may have different policies, or it may depend on the chapter bylaws what they consider valid excuses to live out of house.

basket96 08-26-2008 01:18 PM

I agree with you, disasterscookie, that honesty is really the best policy here. I think the main concern will be your ability to devote time to sorority life. There are multiple mandatory events (meetings, campus activities, philanthropies, social events, etc). If you are sure that it won't be a problem for you, then you will (in my opinion) need to relate that to the actives. Something along the lines of "I know that there is a large time commitment involved in being a member of your sorority. I have thought that through and am ready to make that commitment." (Your own words of course). I just think that to *hope* that actives don't notice your wedding ring is not the greatest plan, because they may make assumptions that are incorrect.

I wish you the best, and please post here what happens! As an adviser I have seen a couple of married undergraduates over the years, so it is not completely unknown.

Good luck!

SmartBlondeGPhB 08-26-2008 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disasterscookie (Post 1705632)
Isn't that kind of lying, if I don't bring it up? I don't want to get a bid to the house of my dreams and then have to bring up later that I am married and cannot live in.

The sororities on my campus do ask that you try to live in for a minimum of 2 years, but like I said, they are all pretty much at capacity.

Yes but if (like my alma mater, I don't know how NAU is) they suddenly have a ton of women go abroad for the year, the pool of women who can live in diminishes. And the house has to remain full.

I would definitely ask because what you are calling "ask that you try to live in" is often more of a "requirement to live in" if the house is below capacity.

KSUViolet06 08-26-2008 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disasterscookie (Post 1705632)
Isn't that kind of lying, if I don't bring it up? I don't want to get a bid to the house of my dreams and then have to bring up later that I am married and cannot live in.

The sororities on my campus do ask that you try to live in for a minimum of 2 years, but like I said, they are all pretty much at capacity.

Be honest about it if asked. When we had married girls come through recruitment we always noticed their rings/bands anyway, either that or we asked them something like "where are you living this year?" and they'd answer "oh I live off campus with my husband." So we knew they were married and honestly, we would find it odd if we noticed a ring and a girl tried to hide/deny being married. So I defintely wouldn't try to hide it, because if your school is like mine (not very many married/engaged girls typically going through) someone will notice at some point.

I'd also ask about the live-in policies. Every sorority at my school had a live-in requirement of at least one year. Our only excuses from living in my chapter's house were some sort of medical reason, owning a home, living with your parents within a certain # of miles, and serving on campus as an RA. Marriage was not one of them. So I think it would be good for you to ask sorority members about their live-in policies.

irishpipes 08-26-2008 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by violetpretty (Post 1705653)
If you do get a bid first and bring up your marital status later, I don't think the chapter can kick you out simply for not being able to live in. There are medical reasons why PNMs may not be able to live in a sorority house, and that alone probably won't work against you, especially if the chapters have no problem filling their spaces.

We have put members on suspension for failure to live in.

nauadpi 08-26-2008 01:46 PM

I graduated from NAU now 5 years ago, but I know then many chapters would have their wings in Mt. View hall full one year then the next would require everyone to live in to fill their space. I would suggest being honest up front... Just ask about what they require to live in. I also know then some chapters would charge a parlor fee to women who did not live in for upkeep of the chapter room. Overall though, most of the chapters were really laid back and if their wing was looking to stay full they had no problem extending bids to women who were not going to be living in.


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