Ok, you just mention "girl" like she is the only one who can decide if you come back to the sorority. It is a sorority, so there are other girls who have a say too. I just don't think that it is fair for you to assume that she was fake. She could have really loved you, but she is not the only person that decides.

And that's why actives are usually told NOT to tell a pnm anything that can be construed as a promise, or assurance that she will be invited back. It may well be that the active DID want the pnm to come back - she may have been outvoted, or the pnm may not have been qualified (g.p.a., no rec., etc.).

In jake's car
 

Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake! Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!

eowww! Canine cologne! Love the reference! Best laugh of the night!

Can you honestly say that you went to your "bottom two" each day prepared to give them another chance to win you over? Since you "would never wear [those] letters in public" I really have to assume that you made your mind up about these chapters before recruitment began based on their "tier". You only commented on the embarrassment you'd feel from being a member of these groups, not any lack of connection you may or may not have felt.

Minds change, and if you truly went through with an open mind, you might have learned to love one of those groups, but with your attitude, they are lucky not to have you.

As for why you were cut from your favorites, we can't tell you because we don't know. Certain chapters have to cut a certain percentage of PNMs after each round. Maybe you didn't make a strong enough impression and the chapters chose to keep women they felt more strongly about. We don't know your GPA, actitivies, if anyone has a personal grudge or if you did something to damage your reputation. We don't know you.

1) A girl might want you to come back. It's not her sole decision. But, there is a whole chapter voting on you. She may love you. The chapter as a WHOLE may not. Nothing fake about someone saying they like you and would love to see you back. It just might not happen based on how the chapter votes. You'll see this next year when you are on the other side.

2) There is a big difference between having a bottom two and being embarrassed to be seen in public in a group's letters. The fact is, she felt that they were beneath her. A girl in her position should not consider any group beneath them when those groups are the only ones showing interest!

She is better off not joining those groups, assuming that they would have bid her.

No one is saying they don't understand how she feels. We just think she's being a bit of a snob when those two groups "beneath" her were the only ones even giving her a chance.

I said "girl" because I talked to one girl at a time. It happened with three girls in one house and two in another, and apparently not just to me.

Listen, I am sooo sorry you all think I'm wrong for believing that particular group of girls was fake. But with all due respect, you weren't there, and no sorority is perfect.

Also: please re-read my original post. I said what was hard for me is that it all seemed so fake. Nowhere did I put down those two sororities, or sororities in general. I felt like the houses I visited were misleading. If you actually personally know the girls I'm talking about, then please, feel free to correct me. It just seems like maybe some of you all are arguing for the sake of arguing.

I realize you're fresh off the recruitment emotional stuff, but here is the flaw in your logic:

One or two or three girls are not the ones making the cuts. It is possible that they really did like you and wanted you to come back the next day, but for whatever reason the chapter (not just those few girls) did not invite you back.

On the sister side, sometimes there are girls that we absolutely love and want to see join, but are sometimes let go for whatever reason. You might not think it, but rush on the active side is really hard too because some tough decisions need to be made.

Sorry you are feeling bad, but don't hold a grudge on those girls because they probably really did like you.

You'll see when you are on the other side next year. An active can genuinely like a PNM and want her to come back, but if she can't convince the chapter to keep her over others (particularly if a chapter has to make a lot of cuts), she will get cut. I know I have liked PNMs that my chapter cut. I understand how it SEEMS fake, but it isn't necessarily fake.

Enjoy your new member period in YOUR chapter!

Can I PLEASE just re-emphasize that I said it SEEMED fake to me?? That is my OPINION. I actually met the girls. The point I was trying to make with the original girl is that you never know what is going to happen or what did happen. Like I said, I was surprised that the houses I had the best experience in cut me, and the houses where the girls acted like the last thing they wanted to be doing was talk to m, did not cut me.

And I would also really, really like to re-emphasize that I am in a sorority that I LOVE with all of my heart. I am not holding a grudge by any means. My post was not negative, and I am terribly sorry that everyone is reading into it that way.

Yes, I thought those girls were fake. Yes, I was the only one here (as far as I know) that actually met them. Yes, that is my opinion.

Dear OP:
Honestly, you did not go in with a positive attitude if you felt some sororities there were beneath you.

You know what? The ones you liked, for whatever reason did not invite you back. But those "bottom 2" (you know, the ones whose letters you'd never wear), invited you back because they saw something in you, they liked you and wanted to get to know you better.

If you're too good for them, then I'd say you were the one who missed out, and not them.

Hundreds of girls going through recruitment. Minutes to get an impression of someone. Decisions being out of your hands sometimes. You seriously think rush is some fabulous process where people become best friends overnight?

I have told girls I really liked them and would like to see them again. It was the truth. The truth was also that it might happen and it might not based on membership selection on both sides.

I would pay money to see you when you get on the other side of rush. When you pull so hard for a girl you really think would make a great sister, only to have said girl think the whole process seems fake because she didn't get voted through.

We're not arguing for the sake of arguing, sweetie. We're arguing because in the world of sororities, we actually know more than you.

You can be as angry as you want about it, but truth be told, when I was in college there were girls I was happy to see back round after round that eventually got released. That doesn't make those girls you were talking to, or me fake.

Just sayin'.

Wow. THAT was uncalled for.

Listen, I think the girls I talked to were fake. I talked to dozens of other girls I loved in many different sororities, and even more that I loved in their same sororities. I am sorry you think that is so wrong, and that I am a "melodramatic bitch" for feeling that way. But I guess the great thing about life is that you can make that opinion about me, without actually knowing me. Just like I can make an opinion about the few girls who came across to me as being fake.


Also: please understand that I am NOT angry! I am angry at this conversation, not at my Recruitment experience. I had fun. Sure, I had disappointments, but I've also made great friends and found a group of girls I absolutely adore.

Tippiechick, well said!! I mean it, I agree with you! Well said sista

It really sounds to me that you went into recruitment with the wrong attitude and such. We do know more than you think. For goodness sakes we are trained for lack of a better phrase "weed through the bad apples". We can see straight through a girl who is putting on a front.

And what many pmn do not realize is it's a two way street. It's not hard to tell from both sides where the pmn fits.

Thank you.