Is your daughter actually descended from Emma Brownlee Kilgore or Clara Brownlee Hutchinson? It sounds like your daughter had her hopes set on Pi Phi from childhood because of some family connection to two of the founders. If that's the case, I would think family members would have known to do a legacy introduction (and would certainly have known about recommendations). Not that it is by any means a sure shot at getting a bid.

Is your daughter a descendant of the Brownlees who helped found Pi Phi? If she is, did the chapter know this?

Ignore my previous post. Your reply beat it. I do wish you had let the chapter know, though it still is no guarantee. The only people who know what goes on during recruitment are the members of a chapter.

I can't believe no one asked her. The first thing out of my mouth would have been like "Oh Brownlee? Two of our founders had the last name Brownlee."

Oh I know. It would have been pretty cool. But we'll get over it. I do have another daughter who's currently a sophomore in high school. If she decides to rush, I'll be better prepared.

It's a bit surprising to me too, but it's not a totally rare name or anything.

And with connections like that, they probably assumed she would have had a legacy introduction if she were actually descended from the two founders.

It's really too, too bad, that you didn't get recommendations and letters. At first I didn't understand that she was actually related to the Brownlee family - although I assume she must be descended from a brother or something, if your last name is Brownlee (and not Hutchinson or Kilgore..???).

That said, it might not have made any difference. I think your daughter should really focus on being happy where she is! She may turn out to love her new house, and I hope she does!!!

Maybe it's early and I haven't had enough coffee, but I'm still not seeing it in any of luvgoldens responses - what exactly is the relationship between the daughter and the Brownlee founders? (Not asking whether she's like a great neice thrice removed or anything specific like that, but I haven't gotten anywhere other than a same last name.)

On one hand, I think it would be really cool to have a member in the chapter who was descended from a founder. OTOH, if she's not a good fit with that particular chapter, it could be miserable for everyone involved. It's the same as with any legacy.

Luvgoldens, I hope your daughter is doing well!

She was here last night, but wouldn't talk much about the sorority situation. I know they have to narrow it down, but the whole process sounds like it could be damaging to one's self esteem. I don't think I could have put myself out there like she did.

Another try on the photo....

http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l2...stcheer004.jpg

When I was a junior in college, I think it was, a PNM went through recruitment that was a descendant of one of the Theta founders in some way. I think it might have been a great-great-great-whatever aunt. She did end up joining Theta!

Can't see the picture unless you're her myspace friend - which is probably a good thing.

Recruitment can certainly be hurtful, but in the end I think it is more of a positive learning experience. She did well to continue through despite the disappointment and hopefully will continue her resilience!

I talked to a very old friend tonight, my best friend from flight attendant training, she was a Pi Phi from CU. (Her mother told her she would never get in!) She wanted to write a letter for Tay, but I think it's too late. I wish I would have thought to ask her a couple of weeks ago.
My daughter came home tonight with her roommate and 4 of her guy friends, they are out on the golf course now playing some crazy game. I think she's going to be fine. It was just a tough weekend!
Thanks for all your advice! cb

Little sisters at Fraternities?
 

I just remembered my brother had a beautiful gf who was a Pi-Phi at ASU back in the late 80's. Her name was Beth and she was from Colorado. Does anyone remember her? My brother Ken was the President of the Sigma Nu house back then, before they got into trouble. He had a wonderful experience with it all, but he's so much fun, he always has a great time. He mentioned they might still have little sisters for the fraternities and my question for you ladies is this: Is this something I want my 18 year old daughter involved in? Thank-You! cb

Your daughter is lovely. But yes, recruitment is tough. Most of the girls going through have similar stats. I wouldn't put myself through it again. I think so much of getting a bid is clicking with one member, who then talks you up to other members. Also, remember that some chapters have more legacies going through than they have room for. In cases like that, legacy introduction forms and recs can make a huge difference, though they're still not a guarantee. Still, let that be a lesson if your other daughter decides to rush.

I hope your daughter takes a deep breath, dusts herself off and realizes that her new chapter is a place where she can be happy.

Yes, it would definitely be too late for your friend to write a recommendation for your daughter now.

By the way, even if your daughter were not to initiate into the sorority she has joined, she would not be eligible to receive a bid from Pi Phi for a year. This is an NPC regulation - no woman that receives a bid from one sorority during formal recruitment can receive/accept another from a different sorority for a one year period.

As far as little sisters for fraternities, they are now forbidden by most if not all of the NIC organizations. On some campuses, they still operate contrary to national policies. Many fraternity little sister groups that acted as de facto sororities actually became NPC sororities in the 1980s when the groups were made illegal.

Personally, I would not encourage a young woman to join these groups as I have heard many negative things about the groups still in operation. But I can't speak for every group and every campus.

Your daughter seems to be great and dealing with recruitment disappointment in the normal, natural way. I really hope she is growing to love whatever sorority she joined. Maybe you could use GC as an opportunity to learn more about the history and rich traditions of that group.

I know my mother, who went to a women's college that did not have Greek life, was rather opposed to me joining my sorority, but grew to love Pi Phi in the four years I attended college. She will tell anyone who asks that Pi Phi is the best! I hope that you will come to feel the same way about your daughter's new sorority. :)

My advice to you right now is honestly to let go. Everything usually works out as it is supposed to!

They don't have offically approved, structured Little Sister programs anymore like your brother's fraternity would have had. The last gasp for these was around the early 90s. If there is anything called "little sisters" on the campus, they are not approved by the fraternities' national HQ and your daughter should not get involved.