Bluetiful |
09-09-2008 08:01 PM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by LightBulb
(Post 1697889)
How long after a breakup do you wait before dating again?
I was in a serious relationship for years. I broke up with him a few months ago, and we still talk some (but not often). My ex is a good guy; we didn't break up due to cheating or anything like that, and we've stayed friends (though we don't talk very often).
I imagine that I'll start dating again before he does, but that made me wonder: What do you consider a respectful amount of time to wait before dating again after ending a serious relationship?
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LB, from personal experience, the worst thing you can do to yoursel if you would like to start dating again is keep talking to your ex.
I was with my ex for 5 years. When I realized we had no future, I left, even though I still loved him. My head knew we had no future, but, well, my heart hoped things would change soon. We talked once in a while and remained friends. Big problem. That made it impossible for me to emotionally detach myself from him or even attempt to imagine meeting someone else. I took it a day at a time. But when I would have a great week, where I actually laughed and forgot how much I missed him, he'd call and I'd totally relapse emotionally - I'd get depressed all over again.
So one day I told him that if he ever loved me he needed to leave me completely alone. No texts, emails, calls - nothing. Told him when I was ready to be friends, I would contact him. So... fast forward 4 months later, I'm doing great and I'm actually happy. Its funny the things you see as you look back at who you were with your ex and who you are a measly 4 months later. I see now how wrong he was for me! I am dating and it's it's oh so much fun! I'm meeting all kinds of wonderful men who are just happy to be around me lol I'm having a great time b/c I have never really dated like this before. I got stuck in that 5 year relationship for most of my twenties and now I'm 30. I know I know, better late than never . . . . I'm still not ready to call my ex and be friends. Maybe one day I will. Maybe I won't. But he's the last thing I worry about now. It's all about me and ain't nobody who can tell me different ;)
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