I almost fell off the couch laughing!!! What a peach!

In, oh, 34 years of writing recs, I think I've written 2 or 3 "no" recs. I don't really remember the reasons now, but I'm pretty sure they were fairly lurid.
There have been girls I was, um, reluctant to sign on. Not because they were so awful, but because I really didn't think they would fit into the chapter, or there were grade problems.
When that happens, I send in the rec as an information-only form and ask the chapter to call me before recruitment starts. I can then tell them my concerns, and let them make their own decision.
Back when I was a collegian, we pledged a girl who had a "no" rec because the alum didn't like the town she was from. Another "no" on a girl that the alum felt would not complete college. In both cases, we should have listened to the alumnae!
Another chapter pledged a girl who had serious mental and emotional issues. There was no rec on her from the alum in charge of getting recs for that high school.
Why?
Because the chapter didn't bother to ask the alum for a rec.:rolleyes:

No doubt she's in PETA today despite her ivory loving past.

I agree that she was a NO REC waiting to happen.

I just hope that nobody else pledged her.

What was so telling about the town she was from? That just seems a little random that it would be actually predictive.

Do some schools not get information about grades separately from the PNMs? It surprises that it would be necessary to make a recommendation based on academic weakness; it seems like that would be evident from other info the chapter would get.

pinkyphimu, glad you liked my absolutely true story! I could not have made up anything wilder.

What I ought to do, UGAalum, is find out what groups are at her school and then do like I did on a thread about an author--ask GC alums if her name appears on their rolls. By pm, of course.

The alum felt the town was 'wrong side of the tracks." I believe she actually said, "Nothing good ever comes out of that town."
Seems like back then, the only grades they got came from the girl herself. This was before Panhellenics asked for transcripts. Our alum Panhellenic had just started asking for them, so I had a little more info than the chapter had gotten on the info form the girl had filled out.
The grades weren't below the minimum, but they weren't far from it.
Does that make sense?

Oh dear!

The one time I No Recced someone, I first talked to a friend - who is an International Officer. I explained, and she told me to No Rec her, and she would handle it from there.

FWIW, we don't have to write an explanation. I just wanted to make sure that this was not seen as a frivolous act for me.

What? No gossipy reason for me? You're missing the point of this thread, Honeychile. ;)

I don't think we have to explain either, and I probably wouldn't. My internal standard would be is she likely to do actual harm to the chapter, and if I thought based on real evidence that the answer was yes, I'd no rec.

If I just didn't think she was a particularly good candidate, I'd just reflect my lack of glow in the rec itself.

It sounds like the beginning of a short story.

Yes, it makes complete sense. Fortunately, I've only been asked to do recs for girls that were pretty well matched academically to the campuses at which they were rushing so I never worried about that aspect.

But gah, what if she is?

Who wants to live with that knowledge?

Although we can hope that as she matured, she grew out of that stage.

Most No Recs I've received over the years simply have "CALL ME!" written on it. Either they don't want to put it on paper or the reasons are too long to write out, sometimes both.

I've been fortunate enough to have never had to write a No Rec, as yet. I'll share the hardest ones I ever had to deal with from an advisor standpoint. In one of my first years advising, an in-house active's younger sister was going through Recruitment. I received No Recs from 2 highly respected and trustworthy alums, women I knew personally who were also well respected in the Inat'l org. Seems that in the year since the older sister left for college her younger sister had ... well let's just say went completely wild. I guess she managed to hide it from the older sis.

I had to inform the older sis that we would not be extending her a bid and would actually be dropping her before Pref. (Normally we would drop No Recs even earlier, but we wanted to extend as much courtesy to the older sister as we could.) Older sis blew up and ended up turning in her pin to protest.

I later heard through the grapevine that the 2 sisters got an apartment together. Older sis then discovered younger sis was no longer the little angel she thought. She ended up regretting her decision to resign.

I sent in one no-rec. I had known of this girl for years (she is 6 years younger than me) and met her on several occassions - she was the daughter of one of the VPs my mom used to work for. The few times I had met her I thought she was a real brat. She had been kicked out of one public high school and one private school for drugs and violence (she apparently assaulted other students if they even looked at her the wrong way). I then found out she was going to attend my alma matter for college! I wrote a No-Rec to my chapter and did tell my alumni friends in other orgs about this girl. Luckily for the chapters, she didn't have the grade requirements to go through recruitment and transferred after the end of her freshman year.