IIRC, Miss Manners and Amy Vanderbilt agree with you. :D

(I think, though, that they both say that a congratulatory card is appropriate if no gift is sent.)

IDK... I sent out invitations to my wedding to my mom's cousins. I haven't seen most of them in a very long time, but I think it'd be awesome if my wedding were the event that brought the family together, so I invited everyone I could, and it wasn't to get gifts, and I very much hope they don't see it as a ploy for gifts !

It's like a catch 22, if you dont' invite the world people are hurt if they are left out, if you invite them and they are surprised, then you're searching for gifts ? IDK I'd try to give people the benefit of the doubt that they are just trying to keep you in the loop and not being greedy gift hunters.

When our daughter graduated from H.S. we tried to only send invitations to people she, or we, knew very well. We ended up hearing from a couple of people who were hurt that they didn't receive invitations. I really don't know what's best. If everyone followed Miss Manners' advice and only felt obligated to send a congratulatory card, that would fix it. But then I believe the world would be a better place if everyone followed Miss Manners' advice, period.:)

On one hand, I can see how parents--especially if it's a large family--want to let everyone know, and it's not necessarily a ploy for checks!

On the other, as someone who had to address invitations to people who I know didn't give two flying shits about my graduating from college, I see how it's a waste of time to send and receive an invitation for an event you have no interest in attending. I wasn't even interested in a gift--it would have been nice for one of my father's ookabillion brothers and sisters to even acknowledge that I was graduating from college. :rolleyes: They won't be receiving wedding invites, BTW, even if it means I have to pay them myself.