It's not necessarily about doing something "wrong". In my fraternity the vast majority of guys we cut is because they don't fit in with the fraternity, not because they do something wrong. Rush isn't some checklist of mishaps you have to avoid (hitting on girlfriends, getting too drunk, etc) and then you get a bid. You also have to fit in with the house personality.

I think the fact that your father actively donates furthers this argument. I know in my house we give a lot of extra consideration to legacies. If you were cut with legacy status it probably means that you do not have much in common with the guys in the house. Therefore I would strongly advise to look at other fraternities. By now you've had some time to meet guys in other houses, so go where the guys share your same interests, personality, etc.

TCM: As you can see everyone here has their own POV; and all are good and very valid.
Between this thread and one other, I have started to remember my own rush to the point of reviewing the all the old slides that I have:eek::D.
In my situation, I did not/could not attend any kind of summer/pre-rush parties nor did I know anyone prior to getting on campus.

So, I just tried to be myself and ask questions. Also went in with my eyes, ears and mind wide open.

IMVHO, since you have the opportunity to hit the re-set button you should.
As I indicated in my prior posting, which I have re-edited, if there was a mistake or error it may not have been yours.

This is a way to find out and perhaps correct it. Or just learn more about the rest of the Greeks and find the place for you.

The very best of luck to you.

i am sorry that your experience with fraternity recruitment has been so difficult. as i read your posts and others responses, i began to wonder if the party your were so unceremoniously escorted out of, was a private party that you thought was an open one. even if it was, it definately would have been more diplomatic to have taken you aside, explained that it was a closed party and that you would have to leave. getting the bums rush seems uncalled for.

please know that the pledges who helped you to find the front door most likely will not know why they were told to remove you from the premises. many of the actives may not know either, for that matter. as others have said, it could have been the decision of one member.

if it were me, i think i would just move on and try to get to know some of the other fraternities on campus. with 31 choices, surely there is more than one fit for you. good luck!

Thanks so much for your thoughts. They all have great merit and I took careful consideration of all of them. I think I was maybe reading into this whole incident too much and probably just need to forget it and move on. I still can't help but feel bad for my dad and the rest of my family involved that I had a bad experience, but hopefully this isn't an accurate representation of the fraternity in question.

Luckily for next year I'll have time to actually find a group of guys that I enjoy and will be accepted into.

Best of luck and good fortune to you.
Keep us in mind.