You are exactly right on all accounts. There are still many campuses that (a) do not utilize the new RFM and/or (b) stick very close to the 5% rule in the Green Book. Last fall, NPC passed a resolution allowing RFM Specialists to go over the 5% rule if necessary to place more women - still taking into account pre-recruitment chapter size and PNM preference.

This will prevent a lot of these situations from happening. I've seen it firsthand many many times on my campuses - especially before RFM. There were always a handful of fantastic women who had a full Pref schedule but went bidless. Most of the time they were attending Preference at "desirable" chapters which led to the problem - as strong recruiting chapters close their bid lists very early, leaving many names to go. This is the point behind RFM - to keep the strong recruiting chapters from having way too many women on their bid list.

I think I know which school the OP goes to and I believe that when the PNMs sign up they sign a document electronically that state s that by going through recruitment you are not guaranteed a bid, and that is even if you attend 2 pref parties. It shouldn't happen - but it does.

As for the GPA requirement, we have often seen on these boards that even if a PNM has a minimum of a 2.75 to sign up for recruitment, each individual sorority may have their own minimum which is often higher than the mimimum of a 2.75. Often sororities will not disclose that information because it is part of their membership selection.

As for your legacy status, and if you are at the campus where I think you are at, there are certain groups who may have more legacies than qouta will allow. Some of those legacies will get cut. Also, each sorority has their own legacy policy and just because it is a female relative (aunt, cousin, etc), doesn't mean you are a legacy according to that chapter's policy.

It could have been that she was absolutely truthful - SHE wanted you to be a sister, she just didn't have much "currency" in the chapter when it came time for bids.

This is one of the things I think would be horrid about big rushes and talking to mainly the same girl the whole time - it's a crap shoot as to who you get.

Exactly!

And since this was at prefs, it's also likely she was sincere but had no idea where the OP might end up on the final bid list. I don't know of any groups that don't honestly see the girls they pref as strong potential members.

I can understand where you are coming from when you say that you felt like you have been led on, but coming from a sister that has been on the voting side I would like to say things aren't as cut & clear as you'd like to think. I've seen some of my sisters fight hard for certian pnms they loved while other sister couldn't care less for them. It sounds to me that this girl really liked you since she was paired up with you twice.

Also, I don't know how your other pref party went, but if you were really sold on house abc, then maybe you didn't put your best foot forward at xyz for some reason and you got lost in the crowd of other pnms going to that house.

I think it's important for PNMs to realize that its not just about being a nice girl and fitting in with the organization. Sometimes you have to make yourself stand out in a good way, so when sisters got to vote they say "Oh Yeah... I remember Jane Doe I really like her." In colleges with humongous(sp) amounts of PNMs going through you can be forgotten just like that. I went to a school with a smaller greek system and I still had trouble remembering all the girls... I would only remember the girls that really seperated themselves.

i dunno know, but i feel like this post was written just to cast a dark cloud over the recruitment treads. I feel like girls know that there is a chance that they might be released, but they just wanted to have a positive attitude and not have their recruitment experiences dampened by constant fear.

the girls who write here are nervous and scared and excited all at once. threads like this will not make them feel better if they are released from rush, but will make them even more worried than they already are.

It's a fine line that has to be walked. On the one hand, you want to give encouragement to pnms. On the other, they need to have a realistic expectation about the process. We've all seen the pnms who are absolutely sure they will get into their legacy house, or the one with all their friends, or just whichever one they want, who are disappointed when they are dropped. I think the most important thing, which we certainly repeat like a mantra, is have an open mind.

There is at least one story like this on this board that has been here since the summer. I know because I wrote it and it's my story.

You'll survive. There are other orgs out there. I'm confident you'll find your place somewhere!

Alterego, I'm so sorry to hear your story. I remember back when I was in school and girls got the dreaded call that they has been cross cut, and I know that it is devastating.

Back then, we were able to make quota additions for upperclassmen, so many girls who had been cross cut went through again as sophomores and juniors and joined an organization. I'm not sure if that is still the policy, but you might consider going through again. You'll get to know many girls who will go to bat for you over the spring and fall.

When I was a senior, my rush "honey" was a junior who had been cross cut freshman year, didn't rush soph year, but decided to give it a go junior year. I fought like heck for her and she became my little sis that spring :)

Good luck to you!!

Is this thread somehow related to the Veniceissinking thread bumps and vague hints?

No ma'am. :)

AFAIK, AlterEgo's thread has nothing to do with the thread bumps. :cool:

Soliloquy and VeniceIsSinking attended the same school, but Soliloquy noted that VeniceIsSinking transferred schools and decided not to go through recruitment in this post. Who knows if VeniceIsSinking transferred to the school that AlterEgo goes to, but by "decided to not go through recruitment" I would presume that Venice's new school has a fall FMR and not spring like AlterEgo's school.

She didn't transfer schools.

VeniceIsSinking never left, guys.