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He had to have known what kind of price range he was looking at before he took her there. When I was dating, I always made sure I had enough cash on me to at least cover myself in the event of an emergency. Of course the guy always paid, but my thing was "if I can't afford it, I won't order it." A few years ago, a sister of mine got asked out by some dude she was crushing on from class. They went to Sunday brunch at a pretty upscale restaurant in a hotel. When the bill came, she slowly prepared to get cash out to pay for her share (allowing him time to whip out his credit card). Well, he offered to pay of course. A few minutes later, their server came back and his card was DECLINED. My sister ended up taking care of the bill. Dude was so embarassed that he stopped showing up to class for the rest of the semester (it was early December)...which was okay, because she never bothered to call him again. |
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I'll only go out with a guy if I'm at 1st physically attracted to him, but if during the date, I start to see that he's not my type, then I'll insist that we go dutch. He can pay for his, and I'll pay for mine.
I once went out with a guy and this very thing happened. He tried to insist on paying, but I told him no, that I would pay for my own meal, because I didn't want him to get the wrong impression. I told him I didn't see a romantic connection here. When I told him that, I could see he was disappointed, and then he stopped insisting on paying. He paid for his meal and I paid for mine. That was the last time I heard from him. If I really like a guy, then I'll let him pay. I just think it's so not cool to accept a free meal or free gifts from someone you don't even like. |
I agree, you know what price range you're looking at when you decide on the place. TGI Fridays vs Bonefish - c'mon guys, you know there's a big difference in the prices. And I won't be getting a couple of tasty (and expensive) martinis at Fridays, but I WILL get them at Bonefish :D I'm lucky now though, my boyfriend loves to spoil me and I got to go to Geisha House in ATL when I finished the real estate course :D :D :D
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Miss Manners says that guests (which you are when the guy is paying) should always order from the middle (price range) of the menu. I agree, though, if you just feel like a sandwich or salad or whatever, order it, even if it is the cheapest thing on the menu. As far as alcohol, I *think* the proper etiquette (by the book) is to follow the host's lead - if they order alcohol, you can, but if they don't, you shouldn't. However, if it's someone you're thinking about seriously dating, and you are going to expect that you should be able to order alcohol on their dime every time you go out, I guess go ahead and order it, so the person knows what they're getting themselves into. Just be prepared to pay for it yourself if need be, such as the anecdote above.:)
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Eh. I'm a fan of the "If he does it, I'll do it" game plan. If there's an entree I really want or an expensive drink, I wait and see what he orders. If he orders something above or around the same price range, then I'll order what I really want. If not, then I use my "backup" entree or drink that's cheaper.
It works, as long as I can get him to order first ;) I usually use the "I'm not quite ready, but I think HE is" line for that one. |
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I don't like the miss manners "pick from the middle" system because on many a first date, I picked a middle entree that looked okay, only to have my date pick the more expensive chef's special that I was really salivating over. |
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Your waiter really won't kill you for changing your mind.:) |
I think that guys should always pay for the first date. I'm usually conscious of what I order though. I try to stick to something moderately priced (i.e. not a $10 nacho plate, but not a $40 steak entree). I also don't really drink alcohol, so I never order any on dates anyway.
As far as this guy is concerned, he can't really be mad at her for ordering it. You need to be conscious of where you're taking her. Don't try to impress a girl by taking her to nice place with wine that will destroy your bank account if she orders it. Keep it real and take her to Maccaroni Grill, TGI Fridays, or some other chain. I'm sure if a girl likes you enough, it won't matter. |
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My goodness, am I glad I'm not still dating. As you can see from above, dating was not exactly a relaxing experience for me a lot of the time. Coincidentally, I shared the following revelation only a week ago with my husband: I knew he was the one because he was the only man I ever dated that I felt comfortable being 100% myself (as opposed to 90% me, 10% what I thought he'd prefer). |
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how much is too much on a first date? depends on where he's taking you. if its Applebee's or something like that, a $10 drink is nothing to sneeze at. if he can't wing a $10 drink... then really, i'd make sure my wallet was filled IF we went out again.
whoever does the asking out should take their date to a place they can afford, including tax and tip/gratuity. even if they order the most expensive item(s). but common sense should say to be considerate. i mean share an appetizer and/or dessert if you have to. some chicks may find it cheap, others may think its cute. roll the dice and see. and if the chick is ordering a glass of wine, you want her to drink the cheap house stuff? at a moderate restaurant, that's at least $6-10 bucks... so umm, yeah. to your friend, let the broad have a drink! it may make the night a little more exciting. but dont let her get slizzered. |
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My ex (who I always went high class on) was a low down, lying, sack chasing, gold diggin,' fake cheat. I avoid women like her at all costs. I can see them coming a mile away. Now, I only get involved with the opposite of what she was.;) |
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