I'd highly encourage you to get to know sorority women in non-recruitment and non-COR settings.

Sometimes chapters don't even host COR events, because they extend bids for available spots to young women they already know.

At many campuses, there are generally at least a few chapters who are under total. (Not at the uber-competitive schools, of course, but you haven't identified what sort of university you attend.) You may find that those groups are generally more open to the idea of COBing and getting to know prospetive recruits.

(Note - just to be clear...I am not advising you to seek out a chapter that is struggling numbers-wise and present it as a "you need a body, I need a spot" type situation. That would be a big turnoff to the chapter, and it certainly wouldn't do you justice either. I'm just saying that its good to have an idea in mind of what chapters might have more spots available...if you happen to have the opportunity to meet and connect with a member of one of those chapters, it might be more productive for you. Versus meeting and becoming BFFs with a member in a chapter that never, ever COBs.)

Not matching in recruitment alone shouldn't require counseling in most cases. But if think what you feel or how you interact is beyond the normal range, you should go to the student counseling center and get an appointment or depending on how bad you feel right now, to the student health center for immediate mental health care.

But don't conclude that because recruitment didn't work out that you have a deep-seated issue.

It does sort of seem to me that if you don't feel like you are getting over what happened in 9th grade that you'd benefit from talking to a professional about how to deal with that and be the person you want to be today.

And about re-rushing or COB: don't do anything until you've made improvements to your accomplishments. There's very little reason why you could expect to get picked up by a group that didn't work out in the past unless you had done something to become a stronger candidate.

And this probably goes without saying, but don't do a lot of talking about how devastated you are about your results. Certainly, confide in friends, but you don't want to seem like the crying girl from the weird rush stories thread, so don't let the groups know how distressed you are.

GO to counseling. GET HELP now. It couldn't hurt, dear.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I've already met a sorority sister, my roommate. But I just met her at the beginning of the semester. As a matter of fact, that was the last sorority kept me around. I will talk to some other soroity sisters from other sororities in my classes.

Just to clarify, that open house last semester was not a part of COB.

In the meanwhile, I will go to the counseling center next week. You guys are right, I need to get better before I can do anything else. I had shyness problems when I was little and yet I have made a lot of friends until the 9th grade.

BTW, I have read about the crying girl story and that scared me.

Good luck!

I hope you feel better.

It cannot do any harm to go talk to someone if that's what you feel you have to do. As Jocelyn so wisely said, you need to take care of you. You seem to have some self-esteem issues holding you back, and I hope you learn to cope with them so that the true you comes through :)

Good luck with everything!