I have an interesting question about disaffiliation that I could't find in the other forums, so I figured I'd ask it here. Last Fall (06), i joined KKG. I ended up having to disaffiliate for financial reasons. I made a lot more money than I had expected this summer and now I know that I could afford to pay dues. However, I definately didn't see this coming, so I thought my only choice was to DA. Now I'm wondering if there's any way I can become an active member again. Does anyone know if you can rejoin a sorority after disaffiliating?

Your best bet is to contact the chapter and explain the situation. They'll let you know if this is possible.

Your best bet (here) is to post this in the KKG forum or PM the KKG forum Mod or even one of the frequent Kappa posters (ISUKappa is the first one I thought of off the top of my head).

Your best overall bet is to call Kappa HQ. I'm sure someone there can answer your question.

*echoing the above posters*

Most HQs are very unhappy to lose member due to financial constraints. You would probably have to make up the time you were DA, but in the long run, it would be very worthwhile. Maybe they'll make a payment plan?

thanks everyone, I appreciate all of your help!

i just find this so interesting. I never felt like I had to do anything different to belong after I was initiated. In fact I was selected as a chapter officer for the next year--why?--because my line sisters carried the majority vote. :D

NOT having a stereotype is a good thing. Why would you want to be Katie, the stereotypical XYZ?

also, it ALWAYS takes time to fit in a group. Inside jokes will be made. And it sounds like you have a HUGE chapter. you're not going to be BFF with every sister, but start small. stop skipping events. how else are you going to be in on the "inside jokes" if you're not around?

and remember it could all be one huge misunderstanding. you interpret them as being cliquey, standoffish, etc. when they could be looking at you like "what's her deal? she doesn't like us, why doesn't she make the effort?" remember it's a big group so it's easier to get lost in the shuffle. DON'T get lost!

and disaffiliating is jus going to cause more drama. so... give it a try. talk it over with someone. there's gotta be at least ONE person in your pledge class you are on decent terms with.

^^^ Great advice sistergreek.

Hi Katie,

My heart goes out to you. I think that a lot of new members feel the way you have described... more than are willing to admit it. It took me almost an entire year to feel like I really "belonged" in my sorority-- Katmandu was right on the money with the advice that the relationships you can build with the next pledge class might help to change your mind. The close bonds I built with my little sister and some other girls from her pledge class helped to strengthen my friendships with girls from my own pledge class as we would all hang out together, etc... You will be amazed to see how a new pledge class can change the dynamics of the entire group (in a good way)!

During my freshman year, I was fortunate enough to meet a sister from another chapter that I bonded with intensely... as luck would have it, she ended up transferring to my school the next year (for academic reasons) and affiliating with my chapter. She and I became very close friends through our shared Phi Mu experience, and years later she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. Point being, don't think that all hope is lost if there is nobody in your home chapter that you feel close to right now. You have so much time left, and there are so many other sisters out there to meet.

Does your campus have sorority houses? I went to a school with designated dorm halls for each sorority (chapter room included) and me living on the hall with my sisters made all the difference in the world. A lot of my favorite Phi Mu memories come from the experiences I shared with my sisters on the hall.

I urge you to consistently seek to build relationships... when you find somebody that you feel a connection with, nurture the friendship! Please don't throw the towel in yet. Someday you will be an alumna and that is something special you will carry with you for the rest of your life... something that nobody can take away from you. If you turn in your pin, you can never join another sorority and you will miss out on so much...

I understand that you have an illness, but please don't use that as an excuse to go inactive unless you genuinely cannot function enough to be in school. Put yourself out there and share your life with your sisters.

ADPiUCF gives good advice in her post... follow it!