We just have one account right now. My husband just made his own business full-time, so there's no extra money to go into personal accounts right now. I typically handle the bills and such in our house, so I always know how much is in the account. My husband will occasionally ask if we have enough in the account for him to buy things, but he's not asking permission, just checking the balance. I figure if I can buy a new purse every once in a blue moon, I can't question him. I just want to ensure we have enough to pay the mortgage. Some of his friends tease him that he's asking, but like I said, he's not asking "can I buy it?" but "how's the account?"

As for gifts, he never sees the bank statements so I just put his on the debit card. He takes out cash.

It's worked really well for us.

Seriously. There's nothing controlling or abusive about it. I would never consider making a large purchase of any kind without checking with my wife first. It's not only common sense, it's common consideration -- it's our money, not mine. (Unless, of course, I'm using my separate account. ;))

What is it with guys and cash? My husband has a debit card, and he never uses it because he likes cash. I guess it makes it easier for me to keep the bank account balanced, but still....

I thought the SAME thing when I read that... my fiance ALWAYS gets large amounts of cash from the ATM and spends that. I on the other hand keep like 20 bucks cash just for the random 3 o clock diet coke or whatev. and use the debit for other stuff, esp. since I have keep the change on my account ! :)

I love Keep the Change.:)

Same here. His logic is he knows just how much cash he has and using the card doesn't feel like "real money." Cash burns a hole in my pocket, though. I find excuses to spend it, but if I don't have any, I refuse to charge just a soda.

Yes, and then I don't feel guilty because cash disappears. No tracing.

At least when I'm bad with my debit card, I feel guilty because when I look at my bank account I see a whole list of stuff I bought that I didn't really need.:o:o

*Cato*
*Cato*
*DSW*
*Shoe Dept*
*Cato*
*FK Boutique*

But a pre-nup can determine how the assets earned during the marriage are split. You could have a pre-nup that makes sure your money remains your money only.

I think it goes back to spending habits and making sure everyone's on the same page. As long as a couple has a system that works and their both happy with, that's all that's important. I was taught to use my credit card like a debit card. If you can't pay it off at the end of the month you don't buy it. Therefore the only time I use my ATM card is at the ATM and when I have to buy gas at Costco. And trust me, if they took Visa, I wouldn't use my ATM.

I understand that but since I don't think either person should feel compelled to do it I just don't see the point. (I know, I know, I'm naive. I've also been told that I'm domineering so that, I'm sure, is part of it. ;)) I wouldn't expect you to check with your wife before dropping $300 at Home Depot anymore that I would expect her to check with you before dropping $300 at the mall.

not to hijack or anything, but what is Keep the Change?

I wish my bank had Keep the Change...but I shouldn't complain because I get all my ATM fees refunded and I get a percentage of my debit card purchases back each month.

Discussing major purchases is important--but my husband tends to not always listen, so as long as he's using "his money" I don't care. We have a Harley that I was absolutely dead set against--it would only be more aggravating if I was helping to pay for it. Talking will (sometimes) only get you so far... :) Bless his heart.

Yay, hooray for USAA! I love that ATM withdrawals never cost me anything. :)

My husband and I have an understanding about our jobs and the finances: he makes the money, and I spend it. :p I am in charge of paying all the bills, going grocery shopping, etc. Since I am the one constantly in the know about our finances, then the hubby defers to me on all spending. We're lucky that we don't have to worry about debits or withdrawals, because he never asks about daily expenses (like lunch or gasoline), but for major purchases, we always talk about it. The only problem is that I can usually say no to things (either purchases at his request or my own), and he can't. If I see something I like, he usually gets it for me. So, I am what you would call spoiled. I'm trying to get him to stop that, since what I really want is my lakefront property in SC right now, and I'd like to be able to get it in December when we come home for leave. :)

My husband and I have a joint account for all of our bills as well as our own checking and savings accounts for our personal credit cards, student loans, etc. So far, this has worked really well. If we want to make a big "house" purchase, we talk about it and decide how much we each need to deposit to cover it.

USAA is a superb bank!!!!

*needs to reopen her accounts*

This is interesting to see how other people deal with finances. It looks like its a matter of communication and doing what works for BOTH of you.