Turtle,
Most guys would be cool just being friends, and would love to talk. But not at a place when we want to hook up. Like parties or bars. We can be friends in class though, or lunch. Thats cool.

I totally agree that its wrong to lead people on. I make sure that I don't give anyone the impression that I'm looking to "hook up" because that would be deceptive. Thanks for giving your perspective because I really do want to know which is worse to a guy. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Turtlegirl,

Your welcome. I admire the fact you take that positon unlike others that happen to mislead us "nice guys". http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

-a nephew of a DZ. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Turtlegirl,

I prefer the later because I think people should be upfront with you. Or at least tell you if they have a boyfriend if their not interested and want to save a lot of time. However, I dont see how you could have much respect for someone if they string you along when they dont tell you at first that they do have a boyfriend. Speaking from a guys point of view. Yeah, I'm over the whole sparing feelings thing. I think its just a cop out personally. I have to agree also that girls do tend to look at you more when you have a significant other. Its almost like a mystique thing. Maybe its a challenge because the guy is desired by another girl and the confidence thing too. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Siobhan, thats a funny story. Thats hillarious how that guy wouldnt take no for an answer until he saw your bf.


Kevin

[This message has been edited by Miami1839 (edited April 21, 2001).]

"Are you a chef? 'Cause you keep feedin' me soup?"

ZetaAce, bucutie, Can ya'll change my user name to Piano? 'Cause I'm gettin played over here.

Heres the dealio. I am at the computer lab here on campus last week, working on a paper. And when I come I gotta sit down by the honey baby. (Line stolen from Swingers.) Anyway, So we start talking, and really hit it off. So we exchange digits and whatnot. Its all good right, and NO MENTION OF THE BOYFRIEND. I am thinking, finally, its all good. So I work up the courage to call, (waiting for the mandatory guy three day rule to pass). So I call on saturday to see whats' up and Terin (the honey baby) wants to grab a bite to eat, nothing big just casual. So i am like cool (Yes, I have read the rules and know I shouldnt have accepted a date, even casual for the same day, but I am a guy and thinking I have the possibility of a hook up, so I am going for it.) We have dinner and it was great. I am totally getting on great. Scoring "nice guy" points right and left. Total gentleman. Best behavior kinda stuff. Stuff that'd make yo momma smile. Adrianna, Terins roomie invites me back to their apartment for a few beers.

I SWEAR BEFORE HOLY GOD as we are walking up the steps to their apartment Terin breaks out with the, "Oh, just to let you know, Rob, my boyfriend is really kinda posessive, so just be cool when you meet him." http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

WHAT THE FU*K IS THAT S*IT!?!?!?! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif

Ok, I am still trying my best to be all Vince Vaughn about it all when I shoulda been out the door. ANYWAY, I stay for 1 beer, which sooooo turned into 10. Rob goes to bed and it is the three of us. Adrianna goes to bed, so it is just me and Terin. We talk for 3 hours, and (Dont hate me for this, liquor was involved, and you know the story, one thing leads to another..)

So the next moring we are all having breakfast at Waffle House like nothing happened. <lifesaver wondering when I apparently entered the parallel universe because this stuff NEVER happens to me> SO we hang out and at the first NON-OBVIOUS opportunity, I excuse myself after we are done eating and split.

After about 3 Xanex, and 4 hours spent in repentful prayer (you christians have it SO easy, light a candle, talk to padre, and you are forgiven.) and HATING myself for what I did, (I am so gonna burn for this.) I begin to get over it. See, for me, sex is more than just a reflex, it means something more. Its really personal. Which is why I am freaking out. (I broke like 4 of the big 10 rules for my people...In one night. I was coveting ass, dishonoring my parents, stealing the booty.) So I finally begin to accept that it was a stupid mistake that wont happen again, when...

The phone rings at 6:30 tonight. Yep. Its Terin. "Wanna go to the Spurs game with me, I have an extra ticket, lower level, half-court." Instantly, all the blood drains outty my brain, rushing to another part of my body and I am like, <lifesaver in the cro-magnon voice> "Duh, yah, I pick you up at 8. Duh...." (come on, booty AND floor level Spurs tickets?) I get to the apartment and go for the friendship kiss on the cheek (isn't that at least called for after you have hooked up?) and do that whole akward thing where one party was trying for the lips and the oter party was going for the cheek, so we kiss cateycorner. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif Terin is all, "What was that?" I am like <cro magnon voice again> "Duh..." And guess what, It turns out its just the two of us at the game. The friends never showed up. (things that make ya go humm, yeah, who blows off $65 tickets?) I will admitt, we did have a great time, except for the part when I went to get us beers and fell down on the soda soaked steps and made a COMPLETE ASS OUT OF MYSELF in front of 35,000 people. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif Anyway, we clicked, had so much fun, laughed and even held hands.

I forgot I was being played. 'Cause on the way home, Terin's gotta call Rob. <playah leaving a voicemail> "Hi baby, I am on my way home from the library. Hope you had a good night. I love you." <lifesaver again, with the WHAT THE FU*K?!?!?! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif>

See my problem is that playing the nice guy, I was all about "I just wanna be friends." Thinking I could beat them at their own game. Of course, that was before the sex.

So we get back to the apartment, and I go up, cause I really did have to pee really bad (greekchat pinky swear on that one). So I take care of business and excuse myself as soon as possible, to avoid any "foriegn entanglements," as Washington once said ('course, I dont think he was talking about a booty call.) I get back downstiars to my truck and I hear from the bedroom window, "Why did ya take off so soon, I wanted to cuddle." I replied, "You aint that lucky." Laughed and got in my truck and drove off. YALLS KNOW I WANTED TO GO BACK UP THEM STEPS. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif" But it is now a game, and the playah, aint gonna play me "no mo."

WHAT THE H*LL did I get myself into? I really like Terin. But is it because I havent been in a relationsahip, or even had a regular booty call in a year? Should I hold out for greener pastures? Should I work it as simply a booty call? Should I work on casting for a new friend? Is it even possible to stay friends after sex?

Ohy! Thank GOD I go for my weekly appt. with the therapist tomorrow. I am chewing Xanex like tic-tacs now. How did I get myself into this mess? I am developing feelings, COMPLETELY against my better judgement. THEN COME TO FIND OUT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE THAT ADRIANNA wants some of my stuff. Like that's not gonna cause issues either. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I gotta be honest, I dont even now how to be a player. I am not player type. I dont really talk to people who are players. We just exist on different levels of the universe. I am a nice guy, remember? Maybe I should talk to my player brothers for advice? I think I just need someone to take my testicles away from me till I turn 30. Help me..................

lifesaver

PS: See the only good news outta this whole ordeal at http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/bas...lves_spurs_ap/



[This message has been edited by lifesaver (edited April 24, 2001).]

hahahaha http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif
i'm so sorry lifesaver, i know this is a serious matter, but that was the longest, funniest post i've read in a long time, and it seriously entertained me http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif however, i am working on a reply for you - you've somehow gotten yourself into a minor mess!

"I SWEAR BEFORE HOLY GOD" that you are the most hilarious person in the entire world!!!
I would love to offer you some sort of insightful advice but that's real hard to do when you're rolling around on the floor laughing your butt off so I'll have to get back to you. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif
In the meantime, I must recommend that you remain the sole proprietor of your testicles. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif
[This message has been edited by Turtlegirl (edited April 24, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by Turtlegirl (edited April 24, 2001).]

Okay....
Here is MY confusion.
She has a possessive boyfriend but she brought YOU upstairs to meet him where the four of you cuddly drank beers, at which time he left his girlfriend alone with the guy who she brought home with her?!? And then, you all went for breakfast the next day?!? Didn't he wonder what you were still doing there and why you woke up cuddling on the couch with his girlfriend?!?

either way, you're in a crappy situation. i hate people who play games. she's obviously toying with your emotions. i guess the issue is whether or not you're cool with that, because you obviously know it. we can't really give you advice on that one http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif
Go with what feels right. and i mean emotionally http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif .

Like always lifesaver, that was HILARIOUS!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif Okay im sorry to laugh since this is a problem, but come on http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif its soo funny!


I agree with gphi2k-- did her boyfriend not care that you spent the night? Or did you go home afterwards and then meet them for breakfast?


I must agree with her, she hit it right on the buzzard. You have to decide if you like her dealing with your emotions like this. I realize that you havent been in a relationship in a while but that is no excuse for you to let her do that or for her to think its okay. You should really talk to her and ask her whats up. She must realize that what she is doing is completely wrong but if you keep following her along or coming to her every command- she is going to think that you dont care and are okay with the situation- which ends up working for her since she gets to stay with her BF and "shag" you whenever she feels like it! (v. bad) i am sorry but i just finished reading Bridget Jones' Diary and have a new profound vocabulary! hehehe just kidding! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Let us know what you decide to do and what happens!


[This message has been edited by bucutie02 (edited April 24, 2001).]

Play the playa. Tap dat ass and be out. If something better comes along then great, till then, get your rocks off.

No, no, laugh. Come on, you cant help but see the humor in the situation. I can either be all freaked out, OR I can laugh at how I could get myself into a situation like this, whist I try to figure out a solution. Thats how I deal, obviously through humor.

Anyway, to clarify, It was Tarin's ROOMATE that invited me over for beer. I dont know if it was planned, but I didnt hear any objections raised at the conclusion of dinner, when Adrianna exteneded the invite.

Also, I crashed on the couch alone, and Rob was no the wiser...I dont think... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif Apparently they have people over that crash out all the time, so it didnt look out of the ordinary.

gphi2K, put it best. I do need to do what feels best, emotionally. I think I need to let a few weeks pass and see where this takes me, and how I feel. I am one of those who needs time to clarify things. I do a lot of meditation. Helps. That and vodka. Lots. (j/k)

I think I am more attracted to the idea of it all, because when I take a step back, the only attraction I can find, is the riskyness of it all. I am not REALLY attracted to Tarin, but the knowledge that I am attractive and being sought after IS exciting. Geez, this thread has so wound its way back to the beginning. I just wish I didnt have to become a walking object lesson.

Anyway, I totally welcome the thoughts and suggestions. 'Cause all I am gonna get from my brothers is a big ole whew hoo for being so b*llsy! Not so much what I am looking for.


life out

Ok I can delay hitting the bar for a few for this one.

Truly, all our hearts are bleeding for you Lifesaver. Some little hottie (woman) lets you pick her up from . . a computer lab. Goes out to dinner with you and her friends . . . I doubt you picked up her tab?

And her girl friend invites you back to the apartment . . . where the girl is honest with you and says she has a b-friend.

And after the b-friend goes to sleep has sex with you on your first date. Then comes up with expensive tickets to a game, and takes you. Invites you back to her place . . . and her you did wrong . . you owed her a cuddle for the tickets.

Oh and now you are totally freaked because she might be willing to share you with her friend who seems interested in you. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

Macfly! MacFly! (Back to the Future movie reference)

News Flash: Girl is willing to maintain a non-committed sexual relationship with you that involves taking YOU out to fun stuff and being really cool company as well as being easy to get along with.

Its a bloody Penthouse letter not a problem http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

All of the rest us are just bowing our heads chanting "we are not worthy, we are not worthy". Austin Powers didn't get that lucky and he was fictional!

But I may be missing the point as to how she is playing you when she has been honest with you and promised you nothing . . .

This PC thing is going to far its robbing men of our masculinity.

The only troubling aspect is the existance of the boyfriend, that can have unpredictable and unpleasant ramifications. Which could be even made worse if you just broke up with her on the spot.

Be young have fun http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif


[This message has been edited by James (edited April 27, 2001).]

Actually I have used the whole I am seeing someone else line several times to ease an awkward moment usually followed up with a wistful . . . "but sometimes I wish I wasn't . . ."

Seems like a nice thing to say to a girl I am not attracted to. and seems like girls I am not aatracted to are the most aggressive . . . go figure http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif