True, but it would be fun for them to intertwine the two somehow. :) You're right I was assuming that ADPi candlelights are just like KD ones, and that is just silly. :) But yay for engagement plans. So cute.

Totally agree and it's nice to meet a new fraternity man on GC who is so in love with his girlfriend! :) I can't wait to hear how his plans play out! She will be so surprised :)

Thanks girl! I wish that college would hurry up, I want to hurry up and get my degree so I can tie the knot. I'm enjoying myself here tho. College is the best time that I want to end quickly! I do love her.

Glad I found this place, looks like alot of good people on here, and some decent info.

That's a pretty broad generalization. If I had taken an entire year to plan my wedding I would have been bored to tears. I think it only takes a year if it's going to be a grand affair.

On the other hand, to the OP, I think it's awesome that you're so in love with your girlfriend! She is obviously a lucky lady. Good luck with whatever you decide!

We've already talked about it, and definitely are going to have at least a year engagement. We both have large extended families, and it's gonna be quite the event I'm sure.

I am still confused tho, if I give her the lavaliere, what is the pin dropping? And if I get the sweetheart pin is that something different, or does it replace one of the other two?

Talk to your bros and see what they think. It's kind of neat that your fraternity is new to campus b/c the things you do now are going to establish the traditions that future generations of men in your chapter will follow!

There's no hard and fast "rule" or procedure you have to follow for this. If you want to give her a laveliere, give her a laveliere. Or give her the sweetheart pin. You're setting the standard for your chapter! I wouldn't present her with your actual fraternity pin until you are out of school or about to graduate. ;)

Either way, she's going to love whatever token of the fraternity you present her with-- and she will also love the candle pass her sisters will honor her with :)

Again, because it deserves repetition, she doesn't get to wear the badge until y'all are at least engaged (at least according to the governing documents of Sigma Nu).

Aside from that, it's nothing binding, but that sweetheart pin is usually something only worn by the current and former chapter sweetheart, not individual girlfriends or fiancées. That's how my chapter treats it. I'm pretty sure that's open to interpretation though.

We did the same. That little mini badge necklace goes to Sweethearts (and back in the old days, Lil'Sisters of the White Rose).

This thread needs pictures. Here are some examples of lavalieres available from HJGREEK.COM (they're our official jeweler)

First, a less traditional one, but it's probably the more popular:

http://www.hjgreek.com/assets/images...large/9737.jpg

Here's the more traditional one (which I prefer, the heart shape thing is a little cheesy IMHO):

http://www.hjgreek.com/assets/images...large/9755.jpg

Here's the sweetheart pin, which as banditone and I were saying, at least in our chapters was reserved for the chapter's "White Rose" a/k/a sweetheart:

http://www.hjgreek.com/assets/images...large/9821.jpg

That website also has 2-3 different necklace options. I've never seen those personally. One of them resembles the badge so closely that I don't think Herff Jones (or whoever designed it) really had our tradition/rules in mind when it was designed.

But there ya go. Hope that helps.

For your girlfriend, when you got "serious" (but not engaged) we used this bad boy exclusively.

http://www.hjgreek.com/assets/images...large/9755.jpg

I am pretty sure that most organizations do a candle-pass or something along that line.

Nothing makes you feel better than doing a candle pass and getting to hear the whole story because only a few people will know. Some girls are very secretive and don't tell until then.


Try and get her sisters involved and be sure to also include her friends that aren't greek because they are a big part of her life as well. Let her know how you feel.

Candlelights are not ritual and although typically done in the private of our house, the recent no-flame policy has made us have them outside on our lawn. They are still intimate, but definitely not secret affairs. You sound like an amazing guy and I'm sure that my sister will love whatever you end up doing for her.

In our chapter we take it to an even more drastic extreme. We don't allow anyone to even wear our letters. Lavelering is not an option in our house. Once a year we elect sweethearts @ White Rose and those are the only women outside of Fiances, Wives, Mothers, and Sisters that are allowed to wear letters or the badge, in these situations they most be given to the woman by her connection to the Fraternity. We have had situations in the past where brothers were dating the younger/older sister of a fellow brothers and the dating brother made the mistake of giving a set of letters (Sweatshirt)to the sister (thinking it would be ok because she was another bros sister). Our initial chapter involvement in a relationship is singing to the new bride on her wedding day.

To each chapter their own I guess.

Good luck with your relationship, a little over a year into my marriage I can say, with all of my heart, that proposing to my wife was the greatest decision of my life and with out te Greek System we would have never meet.