Oooooo. . . I want one of those sweatshirts, too!

Very cute!

So by the first day of formal recruitment, I was pretty sure I would be Cole Haan or Chloe. The first parties were a Friday afternoon/evening. My Rho Gammas said it was Go Greek Day, so all the chapters were supposed to focus on general reasons to be Greek and also tell us a little about their chapter. We were told to dress casually, and I wore a mauve v-neck shirt with jeans and a mauve sweater that had little rows of sown on flowers on it. (I know that sounds terrible, but trust me, it was pretty cute.)

Cole Haan was the first house we visited. They don't do door chants at UPS, but I was still really overwhelmed. The actives were lined up on either side of the doorway and as our rho gamma group walked up, the next girl in their line would walk the pnm in. Once we were inside, I recognized a few of the actives including a girl who was my boss in the admission office. I was excited to see that she was a Cole Haan--until I said hello to her and she clearly had no idea who I was. They offered us water or lemonade, and I had a glass of water. It was really awkward for me to drink from the glass while I was having the conversation, so I made a mental note not to get a drink at the other houses. I talked to four or five girls at Cole Haan, and really only connected at all with one of them. I answered all the normal questions about where I was from and my major and in one of my conversations there was a lull, so I asked the girl I was talking to what was special about Cole Haan compared to the other houses. She snapped back "This is Go Greek Day, so what if I just tell you about the Greek system as a whole." I felt really bad about myself after that and was barely listening when she told me about the greek system. I couldn't remember else anything we discussed or who I talked to by the time I got home that night. I left Cole Haan confused. I had expected to fall in love with it, and I definately had not, so I was just worried that the rest of the houses were going to be worse.

Next our group went to Kate Spade. I was less nervous about this chapter because I knew some of the actives and I was hoping I would talk to them. They had the same lined up thing at the doors, but at that point I knew more what to expect. The first girl I talked to at Kate Spade was kind of strange. We talked about their philanthropy, which really impressed me, but even though our conversation flowed easily, I just didn't feel like I would be friends with her if we'd met in another context. The rest of the girls I met at Kate Spade were really cool. We talked about a lot of different things and had a lot in common. I was also really struck by how beautiful the room we were in was. I felt like the party was much shorter than the one at Cole Haan. I left confused, because I had kind of expected to cut Kate Spade first, but I liked it a lot more than Cole Haan. I was still kind of swayed by Cole Haan's cache though.

Chloe was next. At this point I was exhausted, but praying I would like this house more than Kate Spade or Cole Haan. These girls were lined up at the door also, and I really liked the conversations I had. It was clear to me that the girls in this house were diverse and really involved in a lot of things on campus. They told me about their philanthropy which happened to be something that was really important to me, and talked about their activities. It was clear to me that the sisterhood was really strong at this chapter, but I wasn't sure I would fit in. I was also interested that the actives I talked to were a lot girlier than the stereotype is for this chapter. I thought the room we were in was pretty unattractive, but I liked the women enough that I didn't care. As I left this house, a lot of the girls I had talked to waved to me and said bye, even remembering my name! (I know now that this isn't that big a deal, but it made me feel really great.) I was really excited after I left this chapter.

Francesco Biasa was the last chapter we visited. They did the same thing with the lines, and as I walked in, I noticed that I also knew their rush chair, who was standing next to the door greeting people, from my work on the school paper. The first girl I talked to at this chapter told me she had the same sweater as I did, and we talked for a little about what a useful sweater it was and what a great deal it had been. It really was an amazing sweater. We also talked about the get to know you stuff, and Jen, who I knew from Art History came over to say 'hi.' I was really excited about that because Jen was basically my hero. I talked to another girl, and we bonded because we had both gone to Catholic high school, and a lot of other girls. I could tell the women at this house all really liked eachother and I loved that. I was surprised that I couldn't stop smiling as I left this house.

That night we had to rank the houses, but we would go back to all of them the next day. My sheet read:

Francesco Biasa
Chloe
Cole Haan
Kate Spade

I really struggled with order of the first two and the last two, and in retrospect, I should have put Kate Spade before Cole Haan, but I let reputation get in my way too much, at least for the first night.

Sally's list was
Cole Haan
Chloe
Francesco Biasa
Kate Spade

Jil's was
Chloe
Francesco Biasa
Cole Haan
Kate Spade

and Elizabeth's was
Chloe
Kate Spade
Cole Haan
Francesco Biasa.

This is weird that they would have you rank after a round where you'd be visiting every chapter again. What if your opinions change after the next round?

It was just so that we could start thinking about how we felt about each chapter. These rankings weren't binding.

2 extras :D

Well you are there more than me......:D

Hmmm, they are already on break I think. Gonna email L and find out LOL

Any updates on the way???

Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I've been getting home from work really late and exhausted. But here goes for day 2:

I had been talking to a bunch of girls in my dorm and they almost all (except Elizabeth) were negative about Kate Spade. This definately influenced me more than it should have.

That Saturday was activity day, where we would 'do an activity' at each house. I didn't really know what that meant, and I was nervously excited.

I was happy that my first house was Francesco Biasia. I talked to 3 girls and each of my conversations were unique. I met Jen's grand-little Rachel and learned that this chapter takes the whole family really seriously, which I loved. I also talked to a girl (also named Rachel) who was from the Bay Area just like I am, and we had a lot in common. Rachel showed me posters of the activities the girls did, including the fundraiser for their philanthropy, which had been really successful, but I felt like I didn't have enough questions for her. Finally, I talked to Ella, who was in my aerobics class and I also loved. I don't even remember what we talked about, but our conversation was really easy and we kept laughing. Ella was with me when we did the activity, a Jeopardy type game with a pun in the name that related to the chapter's name. I felt pretty awkward during the game, because everyone was really loud and happy, and I'm not that comfortable being like that with girls I don't really know. I liked this house a lot, but I was worried that my lack of enthusiasm about the game would mean I would be cut the next day. (Because this was my first chapter, my notes on this one were way more detailed than for the others for activity day.)

The next house was Chloe. I loved coming to this house because I saw a lot of people from the day before, and they remembered my name as I walked in and out. My conversations were great, and my notes mostly just have a lot of happy faces and stars in them. One of the rushers showed me posters of their activities and trophies they had won, and I was as, if not more, impressed as at Francesco Biasa. A lot of the girls I talked to weren't girls I would have thought were in a sorority, and I liked that. I also liked that this chapter had a lot of activities with their philanthropy, and had won Sigma Chi's fundraiser contest (at least that's what I think my notes say.) We played Jenga in small groups at this house, and the Jenga blocks had icebreaker questions on them that we had to answer. I knocked the Jenga thing over after about a second (I was SO embarassed,) so we just read the questions and answered them. I couldn't remember her name to save my life, but I LOVED the girl who rushed me when we played Jenga. I didn't like that I was talking to another PNM and rusher though while we were playing the game. I also thought it was weird that we played that kind of Jenga, because it was a variation on a sleezy drinking game that we played a lot at one of the frats. Overall, I loved this chapter, and I felt that I had really clicked with the girls I talked to.

Cole Haan was next, and this was where the day started to take a turn for the worse. I didn't click with anyone I talked to, and there were a lot of awkward silences. All the girls seemed really similar to me, so I made the mistake of introducing myself to a girl I had met, and saying "hi again" to a girl I was meeting for the first time. I knew I was doing badly, and struggled to find things to say to the girl who showed me their activity posters. I did really like one of the sisterhoods they did every year, and I still loved the idea of this chapter. At this chapter, the activity was playing family feud with a pun in the name to relate to the chapter. I tried really hard to fit in while we played this game, but I knew I was just coming across as desperate and obnoxious. I thought this was the chapter with the best reputation though, and that I was just failing at fitting in in the place that should rightfully be my home, so I was confused and stressed out. I'm sure I didn't smile nearly as much as at Chloe or Francesco Biasia. I was trying really hard to like this chapter, so my notes focused a lot on things like lettered pillows in the common area that the bigs made for the littles.

Even with the bad time I had at Cole Haan, I was planning to cut Kate Spade when I visited on Saturday. Saturday though, I talked to girls I had much more in common with, and I wound up having a nice time. This house had groups of rushers and rushees talk, which I didn't like, but I did have a better impression that day than the day before. I don't remember this house having posters, although it must have. I wasn't paying very much attention at this house at this point, because I planned to cut them, but I remember thinking to myself "I should still be friends with some of these girls." I also talked to one girl again who I had liked the day before, and she rushed me while we played their game. In their game, we broke into groups, and one of the actives would say a word, and each group would sing a song with that word in it. I felt the most comfortable playing the game at this chapter, but of course, it didn't occur to me that that might mean something.

I talked to Sally before I ranked the chapters, and she told me that she had absolutely loved Chloe and Cole Haan, so I didn't mention my bad experience. I took about 10 minutes ranking the chapters and because I knew what my friends were doing, I decided to cut Kate Spade. I had loved Chloe so much that day that it went up to first on my list.

My final list for that day looked like this:

Chloe
Francesco Biasia
Cole Haan
Kate Spade

In retrospect, focusing this much on reputation was STUPID STUPID STUPID, but it's what I did. I turned out happy in the end, but it might not have happened that much, so I would caution any other pnms on doing what I did this ranking.

Sally's looked like this:
Cole Haan
Chloe
Francesco Biasia
Kate Spade

Jill's listed:
Francesco Biasia
Chloe
Cole Haan
Kate Spade

Elizabeth's was:
Chloe
Kate Spade
Cole Haan
Francesco Biasia.

More please!

So I spend the whole evening assuming I'll go back to Chloe, Cole Haan and Francesco Biasia because my Rho Gammas told us it was almost impossible to be cut by a house you felt good about before preference at UPS.

Sunday morning, I was barely awake when my Rho Gammas (who I was sure were a Chloe and a Cole Haan) gave me my schedule for the day. It only had Francesco Biasia and Kate Spade, which meant I had to sit and wait in a classroom for two periods in a row. I almost started crying. I was embarassed and hurt, especially because I had felt such a connection at Chloe and because Sally and Jane had both run over to me to say they had gotten all their top choices. This is going to sound terrible, but I was so used to beating these girls academically, (and socially to a degree, I was more outgoing, and just knew a lot more people around campus) that I felt like something must be horribly wrong with me.
I got a hold of myself for a minute and noticed that Jane wasn't there. I marched over to Jane's Rho Gamma, and asked if she knew where Jane was (in retrospect, it could have been because she hadn't gotten any invitations, which would have put the Rho Gamma in a hard place answering, but that didn't occur to me.) Her Rho Gamma said she hadn't showed up and that she wasn't sure why because she had gotten invitations. She said Jane had the first party free, and I did too, so I offered to go to Jane's room and see what was up. She had just overslept. It was vintage Jane, she was sweet, but just kind of flakey. On the way back to my dorm, I cried and felt bad about myself and I was kind of a mess by the time I found Jane, who had just overslept. I got her dressed and put makeup on her and she tried to convince me that I wasn't socially disabled, and she got back to the building where we met our Rho Gamma groups. She had gotten invitations to all her first choices, which pissed me off, although I hid it. I was the only person of all the girls I knew only going to two parties. So basically I felt horrible, especially considering how eager everyone had been to take Kate Spade off their lists.

Wow your school has three preference parties when there are only 4 chapters? I can't wait to hear how preference went!

Sorry, I guess I didn't make that clear, this was philanthropy day, not preference. That's a lot of why I was so shocked, I was cut really early.

I had to wait for two parties in the classroom with the other PNMS who didn't have invitations for that round. I got a hold of myself in time to go to the Philanthropy Day parties, mostly because of how excited I was to go to Francesco Biasia. Looking back, I'm actually SHOCKED by how well I recovered.

Francesco Biasia was my first party and I was ridiculously happy to be there. I didn't write down everyone I talked to, but I remember doing the philanthropy craft (decorating t-shirts for bears to give to kids) with a senior named Amy. I thought as I started to talk to her that she looked blonde, pretty and bubbly, like the stereotype of the chapter, but as we talked, I really connected with her. She did ask me where I was visiting that day, and I responded with an awkward silence, finally saying "Kate Spade and another chapter," she asked which one, and I said I forgot. (I know, but I just had no idea what to say.) I felt really dumb, like I had totally blown it, and I was especially sad because I had really liked her. I tried to save myself by telling her that I didn't like rushing that much, but that I completely loved Francesco Biasia. Next I got to officially talk to Jen. I'm terrible at art, and as we finished the craft, I mentioned how unattractive my bear's shirt was, and Jen went "It's ok, the kid can just take it off the bear." Until this moment I had never heard Jen insult anything, so I was kind of taken aback. While I was talking to Jen, Laurel (whom I mentioned earlier had been my orientation leader) came over to say 'hi' and tell me again how happy she had been to see that I was rushing and that she was thrilled to see me on their list for that day. Next Jen took me to another area in the main room (theirs was the biggest of any chapter we visited) to watch their slideshow. As we were sitting down, she also asked me where else I was going that day. I told her just Kate Spade, hoping she and Amy wouldn't compare notes, and she said she was glad I was still considering Francesco Biasia, especially because I was a Kate Spade legacy. (This isn't entirely true, I had two great-aunts who were Kate Spade, one of whom deactivated. I was also really surprised that she knew that.) Then I told her that I was completely in love with Francesco Biasia. Finally the slideshow started, on the chapter's new huge flatscreen TV. I loved the slideshow at this chapter, because it showed a lot of sisterhoods like river rafting. I left the chapter impressed by their closeness, but sure that my answers to the questions of where I was going would cost me an invitation back.

Next I went to Kate Spade, knowing that I should try hard and like it because my chances looked bad for Francesco Biasia. I was really surprised when the girl I met at the door, Alison, led me to a table to decorate t shirts for bears to give to kids....WHAT? Well, I couldn't hold that against one chapter more than another, so I bit my tongue, and really enjoyed my conversation with Alison. Their slideshow was earlier in the party, and it was less of an event. We just watched it causally as we decorated the t-shirts She told me about mystery, a party where their social chair sets you up with a mystery date if you don't have a boyfriend, that I thought sounded amazing. Then I talked to a really beautiful senior, whose name I never learned, but who was so pretty it was distracting. I liked her, but we didn't have a huge amount in common. Finally, I talked with Ashley, who I LOVED. It turned out she was the president of the sorority and I told her I wanted a position in whatever house I chose. Then I asked how they choose their leadership, but she said it was ritual and she couldn't tell me. She was really cool about it though, and I felt like it was ok that I had kind of messed up. I left this chapter feeling like I could really be myself here, and knowing that I would definately accept a bid from this chapter if I got one. The girls from this chapter reminded me a lot of my friends in high school, and it made me really mad that the other girls had been so negative about them. Maybe Kate Spade was who I was, but Francesco Biasia was who I wanted to be?

That day, I had to rank the chapters again for preference, and I rated them
Francesco Biasia
Kate Spade
Chloe
Cole Haan