Well, during recruitment, if your shoes don't match your dress (and match what you're supposed to be wearing for the round) you're going to be sent upstairs to fix the situation. That's not just top tier, and it's not just LSU.

I was a legacy to a sorority on my campus and went through Rush thinking about all of the things my Mom always said about her enjoyable sorority experience (and not thinking about the fact that she was in college 35 years before I was and at a different school no less!). Looking back on things, I thought that I had a pretty fair shot of getting into my legacy house (my Mom was a former President; but again at another school) and was absolutely crushed when I got dropped. Granted that was also a year this chapter could've filled to quota just with legacies. But I still found my home--and on bid day when I looked over at my legacy chapter, I saw a couple of girls from my floor (who I was not fond of) hugging their new sisters. And right then I knew that them dropping me was the best thing they could've done. I think had I joined that particular chapter I would've been a completely different person than I am now.

I did rush at a smaller school (but one with a fairly good-sized Greek system), but I definitely learned a lot about what it's like to be a legacy and the pressures that come with it. I know at the time I was dropped from my legacy house I think I was sad because I thought I let my Mom down. She handled things really well and I think she was just happy that I went Greek period--she told me that she didn't care which sorority I joined; she just wanted me to have great friends like she did in college. I know when I have kids (if they're girls), I would like for them to rush--but I'm not going to force it. I also think I put a lot of pressure on myself to get into the house I was a legacy too, which may have caused me to do things at that house that I wouldn't have (and shouldn't have) normally.

So I guess another myth would be: Parents put more pressure on kids to join their groups than their children do.

That obviously was not the case for me.

Of course in recruitment that would happen...we had uniforms for each day that dictated your outfilt, shoes, jewelry, etc. I'm talking about everyday....going to class, to the library. And I'm not talking about shoes that didn't match...I'm talking about shoes deemed not good enough.

Sometimes I just want to smack high school girls up side the head! A girl posted a big long "the reputations of each sorority" list on the girls housing site on Facebook for my younger daughter's school. Another girl in my daughter's class has been going to fraternity parties at the school and asking "which one is the best sorority?" and then talking about it with everybody she knows and telling everybody which one she is going to join.

The one thing that I have always, always, always stressed with my daughters and any of their friends with whom I have any influence is this.....KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!!

Good advice....unfortunately some of these girls can't fathom that the group they want may not want them, especially after going around bragging that they are a lock for a bid!

I often hear these kinds of comments:

"I don't know which ones I want to rush." You want to rush all of them! It's OK to have favorites or lean towards one over another, but consider all of them.

"I'm interested in ABC and XYZ." That's fine and dandy, but give the others a chance. Once you get into the process, your feelings may change, or ABC and/or XYZ may release you.

Well, in that case...

That's just plain nuts.

Myth #5 (?): IF a sorority cuts someone, that means they didn't like her or there's something wrong with her

It ain't necessarily so. Every member that a PNM met may have thought she was likeable, fun, and potentially an okay addition to the house. But the reality of the release figures / quota-total system (or other system for some schools like Indiana U that go their own distinctive way) can mean that X number of PNMs must be cut by a house.

Admittedly, it's not very comforting to realize that some cuts can be part of a numbers game of sorts. On the other hand, obsessing over "why didn't they like me"
may be a case of missing the point about what really happened.

By the way, NUBlue&Blue gave great advice, IMHO: "keep your mouth shut" about reputations, what chapters you did or didn't like and why, etc. You never know who's listening and, equally important, who they may be "reporting" to. Ideally the other PNMs in a recrutiment group or in the dorm will never be on the phone or IMing with friends or biological sisters already in sororities, and would never talk to mothers who are alums. On this sad little planet called Earth, though, you never can tell.

I just wanted to 2nd this- I am sure we all have heard stories similar to this- my best friend's cousin is 5 yrs younger than me, she went to my alma mater. Her freshman year I took her cousin to an early season b-ball game @ my school and we met up w/ her cousin. I asked how her 1st semester was going & if she was going to rush- she said yes, and asked if I had been in a house, I told her my affiliation and she said "Oh" then told me that she was really only interested in a few chapters and named them- none of them being mine. I told her that she should go into rush with an open mind because you never know.

Sure enough spring rolls around, she goes through and she accepts a bid to my chapter. I was a little surprised, but happy to call her my sister.... still it caused me to chuckle and think a little bit of "what if..."

So if you weren't on ASA's bid list, you would have been just fine accepting COB from them the next day?

not a myth, but some advice:

pnms, i would advise you to wait to attend fraternity parties until after recruitment. if sorority members are at the parties, it can be ackward for you, since they cannot talk to you-but believe me, they will be watching how you are behaving yourself!! there will be plenty of parties to attend AFTER recruitment.

also, DO NOT listen to guys when they try to tell you which sorority to join. they have no clue how well the sisters get along with one another, and may actually not even know any of the members, but are just passing on info. they have heard. Would you let that guy tell you which fraternity guy to date, what you should eat for lunch in the cafeteria or what you should major in? then don't listen to their opinion on sororities!!

That list gave me a chuckle. Especially funny that the list wasn't even generated by a student at that school, but a current college student at another university.

I have seen way too many girls post on facebook/myspace profiles the names of the chapters that they are hoping for at UGA/Auburn/Bama/Ole Miss/LSU/You Get the Idea and it ends in tears more often than not. Why can't anyone keep her mouth shut?

Hahaha, this is good advice. I remember my brother's brothers (as in, the guys in my blood sibling's fraternity) telling me that ABC and DEF were the best sororities, even though those sororities would have nothing to do with them. The guys were really all dating XYZ's and MNO's, and I ended up liking the latter sororities much better.

Read these very wise words, commit them to memory, and re-visit them often.