haha...that is pretty funny..and dont you love how they always have the people smiling, laughing riding bikes, riding horses....come on! you have herpes why are you smiling?...lol

I think someone else pointed this out on the other thread containing this discussion - but, if you had GH, wouldn't you AVOID activities that put pressure on "that area".:o

Someone at work picked up my drink and I said "that was my drink". She said sorry, then patted me on the back and said "it's ok, I'm not sick." I said, well you should be ok...I haven't had an outbreak for a while now...

"Oh great" she says.

LMAO. That is just wrong.

I like the part in the commercial when the dude goes "I have herpes." and the chick goes, "and I don't." Probably because I always call out, "you do now bitch, you do now!"

...Being a classy broad and everything.

I found this on one of my friend's myspace pages. If you are a pet lover you should find this absolutly hysterical!





Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:


8:00 a.m. - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 a.m. - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 a.m. - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 p.m. - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 p.m. - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 p.m. - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 p.m. - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 p.m. - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 p.m. - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 p.m. - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:



Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre

little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the

other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although

I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must

eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that

keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I

once again vomit on the carpet.



Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their

feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it

clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,

I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my

confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what that

means, and how to use it to my advantage.



Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.



I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and

seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.



The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the

guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My

captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,

so he is safe.



More tomorrow

how not to buy drugs

the answer is not always C

ruminations #85: Aaron Karo

Cause and Effect
read the comments
soooo funny


the real world... what to expect

It's because your "funny stuff" was usually spam, and some of it was pretty offensive to different genders/ethnic groups/etc.

I'm pretty sure that if this thread goes that way, it will be closed as well.

Two consistently funny sites:

www.mcsweeneys.net and www.banterist.com :D

Exactly what I was going to say.

Funny isn't it? My Bad!:eek:

I was in hopes there were Adults on G C, My Bad!:rolleyes:


A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new
CEO.The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On
a
tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The
room
was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant
business.
He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How
much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I
make
$400 a week. Why?"
The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, "Here's
four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room
and asked, " Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from
Domino's."

Is this correct?:o

New secretary
 

Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techo-geek.

"Hey, bud, how are ya?"

"I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!"

"Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not, she's a robot!

"No way, how could that be?"

"Way! She's the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right tit, she types a letter. And that's not all, she can have sex, too!"

"Holy shit! You're kidding, right?"

"No, she's something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her"

So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming "Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah! Eeeeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!"

The guy says, "Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!"