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Of course, if she went to a different GLO after 156 years, she should be written out of the will! ;) |
When my sister decided to go to a school with an SDT chapter I told her that as much as I'd love for her to join SDT, but if she recruitment and wound up somewhere else it would be okay with me...
I wish I was able to talk her into going through recruitment. |
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Funny thing about legacys!
They can be offered bids or not. While we all would love to have our Daughters and Sons join our GLOs, it is still their decission isn't it? As many times it has been said each Chapter is different then why should a Legacy be saddled with a GLO that they do not feel comfortable with! Granted, a GLO will be good nation wide but not local. I have seen many cross overs on GC and I figure as long as they go with a GLO, that is a big step !!:D |
I'm a Phi Mu legacy, my Grandmother was a Phi Mu at Penn State, and played a major part in chartering the chapter on my campus. My Aunt, her daughter, was a charter member of this chapter, and my other aunt was also a member of this chapter. Throughout my senior year in high school I had lunches with my grandmothers friends (who I later found out were Phi Mu alums) and met ladies from the campus. I went through rush, went to all of Phi Mu's rush parties, and put them at the top of my bid list.on bid day, I opened my bid, in the room full of other PNMs and my rush buddy got Phi Mu, and I didn't. I was heart broken, and a little part of me still wonders what life would be like if I were a Phi Mu. I know I'll never know why they didn't bid for me. I accepted my bid from AOII, and fell in love with them. I realize now, that in AOII, I have more leadership opportunities, and that I rather have a smaller group of close friends, than a larger group of ladies that I know. My motto in life: everything has a reason for happening, nothing is a coincidence.
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I think it's really easy to say that there is no pressure, but I think inherently there is. I honestly didn't like any of AOII's parties ( they did Mardi Gras with everyone dressed up like it's Halloween....Mardi Gras isn't like that!; they did Christmas party which was okay and pref was at an alum's house but was outside in the middle of August in Louisiana-- did they not realize it was hot as hell with a gazillion mosquitoes?) Anyway, I didn't even really bond with the girls that rushed me. I still couldn't bring myself to join another group. The funny thing is....rush is such a poor example of what a chapter is! What I learned later was that my impression during rush was a very skewed picture of what my chapter really was. How can anyone really make a reasonable decision with the way rush is set up?
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I think in some situations there is pressure. I think it's especially true in situations where the girl is a legacy of the sorority AND that chapter.
For example, this girl I know was a legacy to a sorority (lets call them XY) through her older sister, who was a senior and officer in the chapter. She of course wanted her sister to be an XY with her more than anything. This girl grew up in HS coming to the XY house and spending the night during Little Sibs weekend and coming to Homecoming cookouts. Her sister would always say stuff like, "When you move into the house next semester we can ____." So she pretty well assumed that when she came to college, she was going to be an XY. Fast forward to recruitment, her sister got invited back to XY every round. She pretty well assumed that she'd end up there. For whatever reason (of course I'll never know), she was NOT INVITED TO PREF. She had a full schedule of pref parties so she had other options, but she didn't care. Since her sister had joined XY, she grew up hearing about how great it was and her sister saying she couldn't wait for her to come to KSU and join. She was devastated. She dropped out of recruitment and transferred back home to a community college. She couldn't bear the thought of going to school with her sister and not being in the sorority. Her sister actually took early alumna status from the chapter because she was so upset over her sister being cut. She made no secret that she was extremely upset with the sorority and even sent their HQ a strongly worded letter. So yes, there is pressure for legacies. I think that even when they try not to, the sister/mom/whoever can set them up for a bad ending by acting as if they are guaranteed a bid. |
OH.MY.GAWD.
I could not imagine in my wildest dreams, being around these women, spending the night several times in the house, having pretty much everyone know me, making it all the way to the night before pref and getting cut. I know that recruitment is recruitment, yadda yadda yadda, but if she wasn't super snotty or ultra rude or something like that (and you don't make it seem like she is at least). I mean, I know no group is obligated to take ANYBODY, but that is the ulltimate in cruel. There were no signs to her the people didn't "feel" her or anything. I mean, I know you will never know exactly why but...OMG, I...I don't even know what to make of that one. I would have probably had to see a counselor for that. That just seems like the ultimate "b*tch" slap upside the head. |
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I think sometimes, in rare cases, knowing people in an organization can hurt you. If they know something compromising, it could be detrimental to you getting a bid. I know this sounds bad and I'm sure this was not the case in that situation, but if one of my sisters mentioned something about her younger sister's (i.e., an extreme drug addiction and refusal to get help), I am not sure I'd want her in my letters. I can't imagine being in thats girls situation and I'm sure it was terrible, I'm just saying....
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Oh, c'mon girls! If the sister of an active currently in the chapter goes through rush, she better have three heads and a tail before you cut her! Same goes for the legacy of your HCB president, or the alum that just donated your new piano. !!! eek.
It probably had more to do with the sister in the chapter than the PNM. |
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But dropping out of a 4 year school to go to community college just because you didn't get the sorority of your choice? ouch... someone doesn't have their priorities straight. |
My legacy story . . . my mother belonged to Theta Psi Delta, a local sorority at Southwest Texas. When NPC groups came on campus, they became a NPC sorority, but my mother was unable to come be initiated. Fast forward - I am going through rush at SWT. The morning of second round, I was told of my aunt's death. I went to my "legacy" group - and when asked how I was doing, burst into tears. I was cut that night. In retrospect, it may have been because I was a sophomore, having transferred from another school. At any rate, I obviously went Gamma Phi. When my mother inquired about initiation into the NPC group Theta Psi became, she was told she would have to go through rush, essentially. Uh, no. I'm happy to report that she is now a proud Gamma Phi Beta, who served for years as a chapter advisor.
Oh - and when I graduated, my mother was seated next to several of her Theta Psi sisters. I was selected as the Outstanding Senior Woman of my class, and during the ceremony one of my mother's sisters asked her why I wasn't a member of THEIR sorority. My mother enjoyed filling her in . . . :rolleyes: |
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The only other bio sister I remember wasn't on good terms with her sister that was in our chapter and really wanted nothing to do with us. We were cool with that (they had some REALLY serious family issues, so whatever they did we just said oooookay) but we did laugh hard when she was complaining about her sisters a year or two later. |
joe scott, i certainly can't blame you and your brothers for having issues with your chapter brother who has created problems for your chapter. however, i hope that you all will take the high road for the sake of the younger brother, and not offer him a bid-in fact, just don't invite him back at all(when you start issuing invitations). you will be doing the kindest thing for this young man-giving him a chance to join another fraternity.
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