| susan314 |
05-09-2007 02:22 PM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by KSig RC
(Post 1443879)
Think about it like this: when you (as a woman) have to continuously 'fake a headache' or otherwise avoid sex for some period of time, you generally have a reason - it's usually a problem in the relationship, or a problem with him (NOT a problem with sex, specifically - although that might be the relationship problem, I suppose). Intimacy isn't the solution then, just like it isn't now.
It is quite likely he's having space problems, if this has started since they moved in together - does he have anything that gets him out of the house? Does he work a lot, then spend the rest of his time at home? Does he get out often? Does she ever do things without him, or does she stay at home to "be with him"?
If he's not getting the space he needs (or, more precisely, he thinks he needs), he'll be VERY unwilling to give up more of it to do it. He simply won't be in the mood - and it's a product of them living together, and the relationship not living up to what he expected/needs because of it.
It's a pretty common problem, actually - with both sexes.
|
KSig RC has made some very good points.
If there has been a drastic change in the bedroom aspect of their relationship, there is likely another underlying issue. Not necessarily that's he's not attracted to her anymore, but any of the stuff that KSig mentioned, or the possibility that he's depressed/stressed out, etc.
Men can be less willing to discuss problems in general, and that applies even more so in the case of bedroom problems. Its a societal thing - the stereotype is that a man (or at least a "real man") is up for it any time, anywhere, and if he's not then there is something "wrong" with him. Which does a great disservice to the male gender, because they're human too - life events happen, stress happens, medical complications happen, distractions happen...an individual male may go through temporary periods where his drive is decreased due to outside factors, and an individual male may not have the stereotypically insatiable drive that we (as a society) expect from all men. If a guy is experiencing a setback with his sex drive, he may not feel like he has anywhere to turn for advice. He might feel like he'd catch a lot of flack for admitting a problem to his buddies, and he might feel that his significant other would think less of him as a man if he opened up about sexual difficulties.
I would not automatically assume that he's no longer attracted to your friend or that he has a woman on the side. However, communication is the only thing that's going to resolve the issue. At least then she'll know where she stands. |
