This isn't necessarily true. The chapters may have been at total right after FR but lost women since then to early graduation/transfers/women leaving the sorority, etc. Also, some chapters I've seen have preferred to wait to plan a really nice event before extending bids. Even if this chapter is several women away from being at total after FR, they'll wait to plan a nice informal event and extend open bids after the COB events. This is usually done so the chapter can have a cohesive new member class instead of having a staggered new member class that started a few weeks after the new member class selected via FR.

Also, suiciding may have prevented her from receiving a snap bid.

Good luck, Pink! As others said, avoid any chapters with a known reputation for hazing! (And should you join a chapter that tries to haze, get the heck out of there and report it to the university and the sorority HQ-- they should not be doing that if they are NPC chapters -- and hazing is 100% against your university honor code. Most states have also enacted laws against it!)

Like the others, at least give the smallest group a try. They may just be new to rushing and are finding themselves-- could be a good opportunity to establish a new organization on campus! But in the end it is your choice-- try at least one party though because you may have discovered the best-kept secret on campus and love these girls. And then again, you migt not. But if you have the room in your schedule, I'd investigate every available option if you are committed to pursing Greek Life (minus the group who has been known for losing 1/2 its new member class...)

Whatever you decide, maximize your opportunities and go into this experience with an open mind. Keep us posted and I hope you get what you want. I think its great that you have developed relationships outside of recruitment with sorority women and you are coming into this process with a good sense of who's who and what's what in each chapter. Best of luck!

I disagree. I think if they didn't feel she was a good fit for the chapter, she wouldn't have been invited to preference. Pledge classes are limited to a certain size, but you can certainly *want* to extend bids to more. As for snap bidding during formal rush, that's just to quota, not total. Also not all chapters/campuses do COB right after formal recruitment. It sounds like maybe this is the first opportunity she has after formal rush to join a chapter.

OP, like most have suggested, I would give all the chapters (if possible) a shot, with the exception of Hairspray. The 50% drop rate is bad, no matter the reason...something's up. Also, coming from a chapter that went through some numbers issues in the past, I want to encourage you to at least consider the smaller chapter..."numbers" is a vicious cycle that can continue in a chapter for no apparent reason other than it being a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can have a chapter full of beautiful women but sometimes numbers will still continue to be an issue. All it takes is one good-sized pledge class to change things, but so many women don't understand that or want to give it a chance.

Hey Pink! Your thread is awesome so far; lots of detail but with discretion too! :D Well if you want my $0.02, it's this: If you didn't feel comfortable at all and have multiple reasons for why you don't see this changing, don't force yourself to give a group another chance out of guilt or pity. Wherever you join, you will be a member of this org. for the rest of your life and should be proud to call it home. Don't get me wrong, an open mind is key. But go with your gut. And avoid the house that you suspect hazes. I agree completely with whomever made the comment about where there's smoke, there's fire. Best of luck with recruitment! Please keep us posted :)

This makes no sense to me. Ok they wouldn't be her technical pledge class, what I meant is that she will be spending 4 more years with these girls. In my chapter even when we had girls pledge as sophomores they still generally associated with the class of their graduating year. But why in the world would you join an organization where you didn't like the girls and didn't want to be around them? You're saying she can join but then not hang out with them... So what's the point of joining? Obviously you don't have to spend every waking moment with them but I'd hope you would at least enjoy being around them! It seems like her joining this group would just be asking for drama.

Pinkbabygirl- sorry this turned into a debate! Since you're the only one who knows the exact details just follow your heart and if you don't think a chapter is right for you don't feel guilty about not going to their event. But if you think this house could grow on you then definitely give them another chance! Good luck and I hope everything works out for you! :)

PinkBabyGirl,

I agree with the post above me...just follow your heart. It shouldn't matter how popular or big the sorority is; as long as you feel comfortable in a house and you could see those girls as your sisters, then that is the house you should go with. When I went through recruitment, I trusted my heart, and I have not regretted my decision. Good luck, have fun, and keep us posted!!!:)

Umm, there are other girls older than her in the sorority. There will be other girls who join after her who will be younger. Perhaps she can actually talk to them and hang out with them!!

As for my example, my pledge class consisted of 5 girls. I found many other people among the remaining 40 sisters to hang out with. I was super close with some of the girls in my (college) class, not at all with others.

And like I said...there are going to be sisters in EVERY sorority you don't like and don't want to hang out with. Unless the sorority has 5 girls in it. If you say there isn't anyone in your chapter you don't like, you're either Pollyanna or lying through your teeth.

Plus, there's a BIG difference between the OP's original "I don't like this group because my roomie is in it and I don't like her" and the updated "there's all sorts of gnarly stuff I can't go into and I was treated badly during rush and there was an incident with my roommate." #1 I'd say you're being silly to reject the group because of one girl and because the group is new and doesn't know how to rush. #2 maybe you have a valid point.

Oh and one chapter's total would not be increased without the others increasing - she may have meant they have more open spots due to graduations or disaffiliations.

If you don't feel comfortable with them after a semester, I think that is a good enough reason to avoid membership opportunities with them. Good luck!

If rush was in the fall, though, and they're doing informal just now...I really don't think that's the case, though. It's pretty common (here, at least) for people to graduate in December (or after that first semester)--there's probably open spots in everyone's from that.

Anyway, good luck with COB and keep us posted!

OP, you are wise to try to keep to the positive stuff. Don't feel like you have to defend your decision to us. If you know a chapter well and don't like the girls, it's perfectly fine not to go to their parties. You don't have to explain or justify.


Many of us, however, know of chapters who PNMs didn't consider only because they were small, or new, or awkward at rushing, or had one girl they didn't like. Sometimes groups' reputations aren't based on what most of girls are actually like, but based on size or how selective they appear to be. What you said in your first post allowed us to project our goodwill and hopes for those kind of small chapters onto Accessories, but it appears that Accessories has other issues.


Again, don't worry about convincing us. Go to the ones you like!
Good luck!

total is a figure that applies to all the sororities,and is usually a set number that is the same for all the sororities. the exception is a few campuses, where it seems that each chapter has a different total, sometimes based on the amount of members they can house.

you do not have to give us any reasons why you don't want to go back to all the sororities. what you have said makes me think that you have given this a lot of consideration and have not made snap judgements. those of us who suggested that you visit the maximum that you are allowed, were thinking that you could increase the likelihood of receiving a bid, but you certainly do not want to join a chapter where you would not be happy or more importantly, where you might be hazed.

i admire your desire to be discreet-it shows maturity. honestly though, i did not pick up in your original post that this group has a reputation problem-when i read it, i thought that it was just a typical new chapter, having growing pains and struggling with their first formal recruitment. i think others might have assumed the same thing, because a lot of us are very involved alumnae who have worked with colonies/new chapters. that is why the internet can be both a blessing and a bane!

you seem to have your head squarely on your shoulders and know yourself.
good luck!! please keep us posted.

Don't worry if we suggest something you don't like, we're going off of a different set of knowledge and you don't have to correct us. I think you're going about things in a good way and you'll be just fine. Sometimes we just blow smoke anyway :D

Pink, sorry if you thought I was arguing with you, I was actually refuting the views of the poster I quoted. Honestly, all I got from your first post was 1) you didn't like your roommate and she was in the sorority 2) they were new and small and didn't know how to rush. The only "reputation" I thought you were referring to was that they were small and therefore lame-os because of their smallness. Personally, I and many other posters consider these very bad reasons not to give a group a second look. If they're a bunch of mean nasty sluts that sniff coke off the nearest flat surface and a goodly number of them have been bitchy to you, that's a different matter.

I know you want to be discreet and that's great, but sometimes it can prevent you from being clear. :) That's OK, it's all good in the hood.