Has this PNM thought about how she might feel as a pledge sister of mostly 18-19 year olds? If she rushes at 26-27 and receives a bid, she will most likely be older than not just her pledge sisters, but also the upperclassmen and officers. She might be fine with that, but I know that it might make me a little uncomfortable to pledge if I was that much older than my chapter sisters. But hey, if it doesn't make her uncomfortable, I say she should go for it!

As for having officers younger than you...if you have issues with someone younger (but COMPETENT) giving you orders or making rules, that sounds like an attitude problem. Will you not take a job because the boss is younger than you? That's not common, but it's not unheard of. It's also kind of along the lines of a man not wanting to take orders from a woman. If someone is competent in what they do, it shouldn't matter what their background is.

I agree! It certainly is reality. Within the last decade, I can personally remember several older PNM's going through at UCF and not receiving bids. There was one particular older PNM who tried going through formal a couple times and then tried to COB at practically every house that participated. I'm not saying that it's right that someone in this situation not be given a fair chance, but that's simply the reality of UCF recruitment. It's too competitive of a situation for a house to give up a place for a potential 4-year member to someone who may not be able to commit as much time or energy.

All of this being said, I can see how someone at that age who is "young at heart" or living a typical college life style might choose to expand themselves with sorority membership. I can also see how important that PNM's attitude and presentation would impact their ability to actually be extended a bid.

I was a 23 year old freshman when I became a colony member of Alpha Xi Delta. I didnt have the opportunity to be an 18 year old freshman - had to get that 4 years of military out of the way first. And even though I'm older than the next oldest sister by over 3 years, none of the girls treat me any different. They still respect me as a sister. The most depressing thing though, is we took on a new member this year who JUST celebrated her 18th birthday. Good lord, I'm 4 weeks shy of being 8 years older than her. Dig the knife a little deeper! :p

Now, I will say that when I colonized, we had a 35 year old single mom also colonize with us. She dropped before Installation, but I will say that with her, it was a burden, and a HUGE hassel. She wanted to be our mother, and not our sister. Everytime we made plans to do something it was always "I dont have time for that, I have a child at home..." and it was a huge pain in the ass to have to make plans around her child. We would have, and could have, worked with her, but she finally realized that her child was a bigger priority in her life than sorority (as it SHOULD have been) and she dropped. Fortunately, for the rest of us, the tension in the colony left with her. We actually began to feel like a sisterhood after that...

I think amanda6035 definitely makes a good point here! If you have similar priorities and are at a similar place in life as your pledge sisters, it can be a great experience regardless of pledging age. However, if you're enough older that your priorities are totally different (like the 35 year old) it can be really hard to enjoy your membership... I mean, can you imagine the hassle of being fined for missing chapter every time you had a commitment for your child?

That's basically what I was trying to say earlier. If this PNM is at a similar place in life as her potential sisters, I would totally encourage her to rush... but if she feels that she is enough older that she might feel out of place or as though her priorities were totally different from those of the girls in her chapter, it might not be the right experience for her.

In my pledge class, we had a married mom who was in her late 20s. It did cause some issues when we needed to do certain things as a pledge class... without everyone present, some activities/goals could not be completed. It did cause a strain within our class, but we were able to overcome it.

I think the most important thing is that the PNM has the same level of commitment/time/energy/availability as any other in the potential pledge class. Every situation is different.

Believe it or not, we had a 25 year old in our chapter in the late 90s-- but she was the rare exception. She had been in the military and then came to UCF. She was incredibly stunning-- absolutely beautiful and fun-- and I think she was definitely the exception to the rule. She also had a long time BF and while she followed chapter obligations and came to the date parties, she wasn't very, very active. I think by your mid-20s you really don't want to hang out with a group when the median age is 20.

It's interesting the difference in recruitment from place to place, even on something like age.
It was a big deal this year that we had a lot of sophmores go through rush, and a couple juniors instead of almost all freshman.
I'm pretty sure at Purdue it would be nearly impossible for someone older than 21 to recieve a bid from any of the 15 houses here; it was hard for the few girls that were rushing as juniors even to get a bid, and almost unheard of to have a senior rushing this year.
It might be in part how large and competetive our greek system is, but a lot of houses also have a concern with difference in maturity and years of commitment that an older memeber would be able to put into the house.
We had a junior on our list before rankings for pref day and it caused a huge debate over whether she would be able to live with girls two years younger than her her senior year (she would be one of the only seniors living in), and her ability to contribute to the house in just one year.
So I guess it's a case by case thing, but I've noticed that the standards here for older women to get into the house is significantly higher than those going through as a freshman and make it very very hard for anyone rushing after sophmore year to get a bid through formal recruitment

we had a 28 year old go through formal recruitment this year, and she really seemed very enthusiastic about it too. however, she was MARRIED and even if she wasn't, there were far more 18 year old freshman that were just as enthusiastic and could fill her spot.... so needless to say, she didnt get called back to any of the sororities the next day.

Maybe I read your post wrong, but from what I understand basically every sorority discriminated against her because she was married and 28 and therefore cut her.

If the school allowed her to rush and the individual sororities don't have "rules" against it (like a rule that said no married women or a chapter rule saying that a new member can't be older than 25, etc...), she could claim discrimination.

I'm not saying that if she filed a discrimination lawsuit that she would have a "slam dunk" win, I'm just saying she could probably do it (sue).

People sue for lamer reasons than discrimination. (Remember the women who put her HOT coffee between her legs, than spilled it and then sued Mcdonalds for her stupidity, what was worse is that she won).

However she has no proof that this was why she was not invited back. People have tried that before, but this is why no one is supposed to know why they're not invited back.

She does if she reads this thread.

Kinda. There's only a representative of one chapter on here, probably not enough to make a lawsuit work but yeah I know what you're saying.

That's an extremely condescending thing to say. You have NO IDEA what this woman's status was, or whether she would have enjoyed being in the chapter. Everyone is different. Age is only a number.

That's like you going into a store and them refusing to sell you a pair of pants and saying "this is for your own good, you wouldn't like them or look good in them."

Some groups force married women to go alum, but not all (thank God). And I would bet even in those groups where it is "policy" that there are chapters who ignore it, because it's a really stupid rule.