no, the money is not refunded. i believe that one effectively signs an agreement at some point in the new member period, that acknowledges that the badge remains the property of the organization and if membership is terminated for any reason, you agree to return said badge to the chapter for return to our international office, or if you are an alumna, directly to the i.o.

Do you take away memoribilia that was purchased by the former member

Yes.

I know that Alpha Phi always owns our badges- when a sister dies, the badge must be returned to the HQ, burried with the member, or given to a legacy. We are aware that the badge always belongs to the fraternity. This is why it bothers me so much when I see them sold on ebay!

It is policy in my chapter to return the following: pledge pin, membership certificate, badge, and any items given to you by the chapter which bear the name "Phi Mu" (i.e. Bid Day shirts, bud vases). We advise that any items purchased on your own be given to an active sister, or respectfully and properly destroyed.

When you say depledge, do you mean quit the pledge process? I mean before accepting membership in the organization.

I think you may be right about ticking everyone off, and apparently it's working. Sometimes the only way to battle a mean spirit is to be one. :(

If this member's already initiated, I don't think anyone has the right to tell her she can't wear lettered shirts.

she could wear them as a zta new member for that matter. the only restriction on new members in zta is that they cannot be in possession of the crest until they are initiated.

sorry kay10, just saw your post.

i am using old terminology-old= pledge, current=new member. i am speaking of a new member(uninitiated), dropping their membership before initiation.

Oh. O.K.

I understand getting letters and memorabilia back from an uninitiated pledge, but an initiated member? If she didn't think "so little of her sisters" but rather had to drop her membership for purely financial or personal reasons, would you have tried to get her letters back? What if a member came from another school and was, for whatever reason, not allowed to affiliate into the new chapter? Then would you have wanted to take her stuff away or stop walking around campus in letters?
I just don't understand how a sorority could claim to offer lifetime membership to someone and then remove those privileges in certain circumstances. That doesn't seem like lifetime membership to me? I'm really not snarking here, just surprised.

this young woman made the choice to drop her membership based on none of the scenarios that you proposed, gdifly.while i served as an advisor at the time that this took place, and am fully apprised of the entire incident, i cannot explain any further than that.

greek letter organizations offer lifetime membership to those who want it for a lifetime.

a young woman who transfers from another school is not obligated to try to affiliate with the chapter on her new campus. if she leaves campus #1 and has not started the affiliation process at campus #2, she is considered an alumna, and has all the rights and privileges of full membership, whether or not she affiliates. as far as the chapter not allowing a sister to affiliate, she would still be a member of the national org., just have alumnae status.

most chapters try very hard to work with any member who is having financial problems, family problems, grade problems, etc. to help them find a solution that will solve their problem and allow the member to keep her membership. if the member still does not seem comfortable and drops her membership, they probably would not ask her to return her stuff, with the exception of her badge. i think that the chapter would probably expect her to not wear anything that identifies her as still holding membership in the sorority when she is on campus. if she is no longer contributing to the chapter and adhering to their rules of conduct, she should not be representing herself on campus as still being a member.

If she had to self terminate for the reasons you stated, she probably respects the sorority enough to no longer wear letters since she realizes she's no longer a member. One of my friends left DZ for $$$ issues and she would never have dreamed of wearing letters afterwards, even though she was still friends with all the sisters.

Someone from another campus who doesn't affiliate - I don't think anyone said they were opposed to that.

We're talking about the girls who get kicked out of the sorority because they stole tons of $$$ or hazed pledges or never came to events or were just generally batshit crazy. They didn't follow thorough on their promises to always respect the sorority and their sisters, so there is no reason for the sorority to follow through on their promise of lifetime membership.