Same here, though normally just for dinner I would stick with something small. If it's a weekend stay they get something nicer (read that as worth more money) normally. Weekend stays normally are gift basket type gifts for me. But for a dinner it;'s normally something small, flowers, candy, a coffee cake for the next day kinda thing.

I am so glad I don't associate with people that I'd have to worry whether a bottle of wine might upset a recovering alcoholic in their family. ummm yeah.

-Rudey
--Try flowers.

The thank-you note will be more important than any hostess gift. Trust me. If you date this guy or marry him, years from now his mother will talking smack behind your back about the fact that you never thanked her.

Of course, once you send the note, she'll make a huge fuss: Oh you shouldn't have, it was our pleasure, such a nice girl, Harry look at the nice note I got the shiksa our son is dating, such a nice girl.

Religious or not, it's a strong cultural thing.... Food is universally accepted. Yes, it is a sterotype, but it is really the truth. Flowers and alcohol, not so much our thing.

Reading this thread, I am feeling like such a crude hick because it has honestly never occured to me to do this "hostess gift" thing ... :(

Personally, I was always taught that guests never show up empty handed.

For anything? I mean, during the holidays, and for parties, you of course bring gifts, but you mean that you should always bring gifts, at all times?

yes

Oops ... :eek:

Yes.. if you're coming over for dinner or a luncheon, to a party or to stay over as a houseguest. It's a nice way of saying, "thank you for going through all of the trouble for us."

1001st why I need to relocate. People just don't do this over here.

I go to a lot of events and visit a lot of people's houses with other people (our family have a lot of guests too), I have NEVER witnessed this (outside of special/holiday events and parties). I also interact with people of many different backgrounds, so that kind of rule out specific cultural norms.

I have never seen guests come to our house or my parents go to anyone's house and not bring something. It's just not done.

I need to move to NYC then. :D Aren't you from there?

If anything, when we have people over, things get taken. :o :mad: :rolleyes:

Yes I am and :eek: at things being taken by your guests.

Those are some of my thoughts in bold on the list posted earlier.

On the "do you always bring a gift" front:
If it's a holiday party, or dinner/BBQ, yes, I always bring something - though I usually ask the hostess what would be helpful. If I'm staying for a weekend or something, then I definitely something for them that can be used after I leave. If it's just my friend who I see every week, then no, I wouldn't bring her something (unless it's a dinner party or something).

I giggled when I read that. I'm going to go and hide the silver now.

Always bring food. Remember the scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding with the Bundt Cake? It may not be immediately understood, but it will be appreciated.