I really have disagree with Carnation about the "forced" prefs. I wouldn't have before, but I recently finished my time as a Recruitment Counselor and realized why making girls attend the maximum amount of parties is a good thing.

Specifically, I had one girl in my group who in Round 3 got invited back to three parties. Being that there aren't a ton of sororities on our campus, my partner and I had made the prediction that this girl would fit in best at ABC from day one. Well, from round one, she was in love with XYZ. All she talked about was how wonderful XYZ was, how much she loved them, etc. When we presented her with her invitations to Round 3, she was excited about XYZ, but annoyed that she had to go to ABC and DEF. Anyway, after Round 3, she was still 100% XYZ, but liked ABC and DEF a little more. For Prefs, she was invited back to XYZ and ABC. She was thrilled about the first one. All she wanted in the world was XYZ, and again, she was a little annoyed about having to go to ABC.

Once prefs were over, this girl flagged my partner and I down, crying. She didn't know what to do. My partner ended up talking to her for over an hour about where she felt most at home, where did she feel she fit in best, who could she see spending the next 4+ years with, to ignore what's best for her friend and do what's best for her, etc. She ended up signing her pref card with ABC as her first choice and recieved a bid to that house. This might sound like an isolated instance, but this happened to two girls in my group of 14. While my partner was counseling one girl, I spent nearly two hours with another, who wan't interested in the house she is now a new member of until after pref. Neither of these girls really realized how serious of a decision it was until Pref night - they were listening to rumors, wanting to stay with their friends, and falling for superficial things like pretty decorations and big houses. On Pref night, not only do PNMs start realizing how serious of a decision it is, but they really realize that they would not be at a chapter's pref unless that chapter saw something in them.

So "forcing" girls to go to pref, in my opinion, is not the worst thing in the world. If they absolutely do not want to be in that chapter, they can attend pref, be polite, and SIP on their card.

texgal, if you can, would you please keep track of these two girls to see if they do initiate and become involved with their chapters? i know that this would be an unscientific poll at its best-but i would be interested to know, and i venture to guess that others would too.

i know of several girls this recruitment season who kept getting invitations from chapters that they had ranked low. they had to go back, and they were not happy about it-however, being the genteel ladies that they are, and having been raised properly, they were gracious at the parties. they did get their #1 choice of bid, and are quite happy -i don't know what woud have happened if their bids had not worked out they way they wanted, and if they had gotten a bid from the houses they ranked low every day. i don't like forcing someone to go somewhere they do not want to go-these women are old enough to vote, and live away at college. aren't they old enough to decide whose invitations they accept or decline?

I may agree about prefs
 

however, if we take the "let them decide with invitations to accept and decline" too far, we'd see a whole lot more girls cut themselves out of rush in the early rounds.

I don't think girls should be obligated to accept a bid or face a penalty (other than not being eligible for quota addtions) for "suiciding" if they don't want a bid from other houses.

But I think they should have to attend the maximum number of parties through rush so they have other options if they get cut by some of their early favorites.

What Alphagamuga said! Because if you're going to force women to go to prefs they never wanted to go to, it's horrible to then penalize them for SIPing. It can also hurt sororities.

I recall a couple of years ago hearing about a sorority that had 2 full pref parties and didn't get one new member from them. Why? Because apparently, no one wanted to be there but was forced by Panhellenic to go as their second pref party. Girls who were in-house legacies or otherwise almost sure things to get a bid elsewhere were sitting there, as I'm told, with gritted teeth just counting the minutes until they could be out. Most of the members were aware of it and were in tears.

Then the next day when the bid lists came out and the sorority had no pledges, they were torn up again because some of them had been so sure that PNMs were there because they really liked them. The girls who told me about this said that of all the girls they knew at that pref, every one SIPed another sorority.

I believe you, Carnation
 

But that's terrible for the group!

How did they not pick up on the lack of interest earlier?

How could there be a group that no one wanted? How could they even be a group?

Wow, that's awe inspiringy bad.

OMG, that's so horrible. How did that group recover?

The same scenario repeated the next year (even to being packed with girls who were in-house legacies but had no other pref to go to bc the other sororities had cut them for their legacy status)and they had full pref parties again.Once again, they didn't get any pledges in formal rush. That was a couple of years ago and the chapter still exists so they must've picked up some in open rush.

With a few exceptions, this could have been my chapter in the mid 90's. The chapter was small, had gone through internal turmoil, and were exhausted in rectifying it. By the time Recruitment started, they were practically cross-eyed with the lack of sleep, and it showed. There were about 20 women at each of the Pref Parties (huge, for our campus), and few seemed happy to be there.

On Bid Night, one PNM who didn't realize that putting a GLO on her Bid Card obligated her to pledge was matched with us - but only because the Panhellenic Advisor told us to put every PNM on our Bid List! I can still hear the arguing of the Panhel Advisor and our TCC, over trying to make that poor woman pledge where she obviously did NOT want to be - arguing with her sobbing in the background!

The only good it did was to solidify the Chapter, and they decided to become good at COR. And trust me, they are fantastic! This summer, they became a Diamond Four Point Chapter AND won our Achievement Award!
Yet, I would never "cheapen" our bid like that again.

same story.
 

I will give a little bit of a background but i almost have the same story as the girl that started this thread.

I was a transfer student so i rushed as a junior. I went through formal recuirment, 5 days plus bid night. My campus has 9 sororities, and about 600+ girls rushing. After the first ranking I was invited back to 2 houses. It was saddening. I decided to stay because one was one of my top choices and the other one was my very last choice, but hey atleas i liked one. When it came to ranking on pref night I thouht everything went well and i'd get into my top choice. I ranked them both, if you mentioned "sucide bid" theyd make sure you wouldnt do it. The next day i waited in line for my bid and i didnt get a bid for the house i wanted. My heart was broken. My Rho Gamma told me to go for bid day maybe id like the girls. Girls were nice but i felt uncomfortable, so i dropped out. As a junior i am left with no options, other then to rush in the Fall as a senior...To qualify for COB or Spring Rush i would have had to drop out on Pref night and not rank....that is another reason i signed the bid i had nothing to lose.
it seems a little unfair, especially for a transfer.

The Rho Chi should have explained that once you accept that bid, you're bound to it for a calendar year. I'm sorry that you got stuck in a crappy situation.

i was told i was unable to rush until the next fall whether or not i took the bid.

I'll admit that it upsets me when Rho Gammas and Panhellenic exec and advisors make PNMs feel like they aren't allowed to SIP. It's like all they care about is matching percentages as opposed to happy members. PNMs should be given accurate information as to the consequences of ranking/not ranking and make that decision for themselves.

However, based on the information about you (transfer junior) and your campus (9 chapters, 600 PNMs), I don't think it matters. Let's suppose you did SIP. You would have gone unmatched and would have been eligible for spring informal recruitment.

1. Realize that few, if any, chapters will be participating. It is likely that the chapter you are bound to might be the only one participating. Your first choice made quota, so they probably won't be participating.
2. If other chapters are participating, they likely have very few spots to fill and will probably fill them quietly by bidding women that their members already know.

As a transfer junior, your chances aren't going to get any better as semesters pass. From the description of your campus, your class standing is likely a big factor working against you. Even if you were to depledge and try again next fall as a senior, I am willing to bet you'll be cut from every chapter on campus.

So what's the point? In your situation, I'm 99.9999% sure this was your only chance to be Greek. Your choices were this chapter or GDI. I would have advised you to try to find your niche in the chapter and if you really don't want to be a member, drop out before initiation. But it's too late.

(Side note: I'm not sure why you say it seems a little unfair especially for a transfer. What makes the transfer part different from anyone else?)

Because they should have spoonfed the transfer all the info/stereotypes on all the chapters since she hasn't been there since freshman year to learn it herself. That's how I read it, anyway.

Unless she went from a branch campus to a main campus, and that really isn't the same thing.

Don't leave us hanging! What happened to the poor woman?