I do think that men and women can be just friends, however the following situations will more than likely always occur. 1) Someone becomes attracted, expresses that attraction and gets rejected. Depending on the strength of the friendship, it may or may not end at this point. 2) Both become attracted, and act on that attraction, thereby ruling out the "just friends" part of the relationship 3) Both are attracted, but there are prior committments on one or both ends, which prevent them from acting on the attraction <--- I think that this is an incredibly touchy situation though, especially if one friend is having trouble in their relationship. I think it leaves room for emotional and possible physical affairs to begin. Lastly I think that men and women can be friends in a case where they may have dated and discovered that they were not compatible as a couple, but that a friendship would work out. Depending on how you look at that particular situation these two people are "just friends."

I think if two people, especially unattached people, really like each other as friends, at some point someone is likely to develop feelings. That's natural, IMO. Whether you act on the feelings or not is another matter, but I guarantee somebody (usually the dude) is at least thinking about it, and is usually willing to risk the friendship to take it to another level.

If either or both are otherwise involved with other people, then it makes it the "friendship" train roll easier.


*thinking back to the days on the yard when the motto was 'girl, if you want a friend, buy a dog.....' :cool:

Ain't that the freakin' truth? :cool:

;) It's possible once you have worked through the attraction stage. One friend and I resolved that it was best to lose the relationship but not the friendship and we are still good friends to this day!

in my experience, no.

My ex-husband and I are great friends, now that we're divorced. We lost the friendship (which we had for 2 years prior to marriage) in trying to make the relationship work. He's still my buddy, and in fact - have vented/cried/babbled to him about guys I've dated since the divorce. I can look him in the eye and tell him I care about him, but wouldn't live with him ever again - and he can do the same. And we mean it!

Now on the flip side of things, the guy I've just started dating is a long-time friend (of 20 years), who admitted to me that he's wanted to date me for about 15 of those 20 years, but either I was in a relationship/marriage, or he was in a relationship. So, I'm hoping this one turns out better than my first marriage!

(btw, lovehaiku, I love the Pat quote on your signature! I'm a HUGE Benatar-fan as well)

Hi Quala67,
Not trying to be funny, just curious. Based on your post, it seems like you are a female but the fraternal information indicates "brother." Is that the way that females are referred to in the org or are you a male? Just wondering about the lingo of your org.
SC

She's in APO. Guys and girls are called brothers. :)

Dionysus is correct, in Alpha Phi Omega, all initiated persons are referred to as 'Brothers,' no matter what the gender. I am proudly a female Brother of APO.

Any my ex-husband is also my Brother, and his parents, and my sister....made for very interesting conversations!

Oh, ok. That's interesting convention. Thanks for the info. I think that my feminist mind would wonder how come everyone can't be called a sister instead. LOL
SC

Some of my closest friends are guys, and I can honestly say with the exception of the two that I've dated, I've not felt any romantic sentiment towards them. They are like brothers. Some are gay. I think it can work.

I think I'm going to see whether this can happen. I don't have many straight male friends right now.

My business fraternity, Alpha Kappa Psi, is the same way. I'm not sure if everyone is referred to as brother b/c it is a fraternity or b/c it was originally an all male organization. I think that it is the former though.

I think I remember reading that APhiO voted to let in female members under the stipulation that they are still brothers. It used to be an all male org.

*off topic, but figured I'd step back in*

Alpha Phi Omega National Service Fraternity was founded in 1925 as the 'Boy Scout' Fraternity. In fact, until the late 60's, all members also had to be affiliated with the BSA. In December 1976, at our National Convention in Atlanta, GA, women were given full memberships rights. In fact, in our National bylaws it states that all initiated members shall be referred to as Brothers. If you want to know more about APO, check out http://apo.org, or feel free to PM me.

*apologizes for getting folks off topic*