Now, now... No need to be a doormat for Maidzilla's rudeness, nor is there a need to be just as bad as she is. Remember the goal is to be a good friend to the bride. (While the Maidzilla is obviously mentally impaired, telling her you believe so will serve no constructive purpose. Probably would only incense her - which would likely result in her upsetting the bride.)
Reading all this insanity makes me wonder - Shannan, are you sure this is really such a good friend that you're willing to go thru all this for her? ;)

I think I see a Bridesmaid Strike in the making.... :eek:

I don't know. If someone was incredibly rude to me, I would not see the sense in letting them get away with it, barring some incredibly rare exceptions. (IE: You sign my pay check).

That's exactly what I meant - being a bridesmaid shouldn't equal being a doormat. Sure, there's a certain amount of grief you put up with, but I see that amount being very, very close to being too much grief!

I see your point. I would try to get thru the events with no (or minimal) conflict. Perhaps having a little tete-a-tete on the phone (preferably not via email - so hard to convey tone) to prevent or lessen a blow up at an event, sparing the bride distress, and doing it low key so there can be no major scene! (sounds like MOH is emotionally unhinged IMO)

edited for spelling

Right now ignore is what I do. Since she is so far away, no use e-mailing her how I feel and the bride getting it from her or something.

We were very honest with the bride and told her the MOH is nuts and drives us crazy, she said well she wants the world to revolve around her. that just how she is. I was like wow.

If she gets out of hand at the actual events, I will take her aside and tell her that she needs to calm down because this is the brides day. This is all happening back at my hometown in my church so its more on my home turf so she wont scare me into doing what she wants. This will be all about the bride...

I dont understand how someone who says shes been the brides BF since 4th grade, can be so all about her and not really the bride.

This shower is coming up....

You should hear about the bachelorette party. They are having it that night and wont allow any people but the bridemaids to go so 5 of us including the bride are going gambling. It is right after the shower and the MOH is coming in from Hawaii to stay a few days with the bride. They dont want the bride to know about the party, so they have plans to make sure everyone else has plans. The MOH is staying with the bride though and they are making the fiancee say he is taking the bride to a nice dinner out alone right after the shower and since the MOH is staying with her and the shower is 2 hours from the brides house the MOH is syaing she has to catch a flight that night back. Now the bride is calling me stressed that she has to take the MOH back and cut her shower short and complaining about the MOH. I told the MOH and other bridesmaid it was a bad plan, but noone cares, they are still going with it.... I told them I dont want involved with it and I did not come up with such a stupid idea. I told them just say the MOH was hanging out with the fiancees sister since she is a bridemaid too, but no......

I told the MOH to be at the church for the shower decorating at 10am. I plan to be there at 7 or 8 and get as much done as I can since my hubbys mom has keys to the hall. I dont want her telling me what to do once she gets there....

She knew I had prizes and she actually told me to keep them hers where much better. Im like oh lord. I said Ill bring mine you bring yours and well give them all away, geez........

I am sooo glad this is the 16th of Sept so it will be done with soon.

Im sure once Sept comes Ill be more worried and more of a wreck. I am trying to find some coffee beans extremely cheap to use in centerpieces so I dont care if the coffee is crappy but I cant find cheap coffee......

Just wanted to say the shower happened and it turned out ok. The bride loved it and was very overwhelmed, she cried almost the whole shower. She really was happy. I think thats what made it the best.

As for the MOH, she is a trip. She came in and tried to take over, but everything was done. I did all the decorating at 9am and they came at 12. She did try to boss all of us around on what to do and such, but I ignored her. I just wanted the bride to have a good time.

Because the invites had to come from Hawaii the MOH forgot to send a few and some didnt get to people so we did not have the turn out we wanted. I cant complain though, the people who did come were very nice and we all had a nice time.

The bride cried at almost all the presents she opened and it just turned out good. The wedding is coming up the first Saturday of November so Im looking forward to it and then it being over so I dont have to see the MOH anymore. Its horrible to think that, but she just is too much. One of the other bridesmaids is extremely pregnant so she is all over with emotions.

I have my SIL's wedding this weekend. My husband said he doesnt want to be in anymore wedding after these two. He forgets his best friend will one day get married, but he said he is tired of weddings lol...

Sorry to crash! :)

The MOH sounds like a huge beeeyotch, you get major karma points for handling her insanity with grace and with the bride's happiness in mind.

Go check out the wedding section of etiquettehell.com. Whenever I'm involved in wedding dramarama, I read all the stories and feel somewhat better knowing that I'm not alone in dealing with Maidzillas. Have fun!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU - for what I'm sure will be HOURS of endless enjoyment!!!!!

I LOVE that web site!

I TOTALLY AGREE - I know this wedding is over but MAN - this kind of stuff never happens to me. I am not known for silently accepting rudness. I totally respect the way you handled it and OF COURSE it is the BRIDES day so you I AM SURE did the right thing but, man I would have had to totally passively agressively handled the MOH from hell. (AFTER THE EVENT OF COURSE) after she couldn't effect the wedding.

OK after saying that . . . .I LOVE THAT WEB SITE etiquettehell.com. I was able to see that rude people are rude to everyone. AND, I also know that the rude people have to live with theirselves all of the time and we only have to deal with them every once in a while.

LOYALLY SISTERS (panhellenic and ADPi)

That website is addicting.

Oh the wedding isnt until Nov 4th for whoever said it was over with lol. That was just the bridal shower. I still have a month to go before the wedding and I can say I cant wait for it to be over.

I was just in my SIL's wedding and it lasted till 1230 then we all went back to her house after, but this wedding coming up they have the hall till 10 thats all so it may be a short reception.