Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Wedding Tips for the Newly Engaged
 

Now see, my folk would *really* talk about me if I had them fly all the way across the country and I fed them hors d'oeuvres! LOL

I don't see how a cocktail reception would ever work in my case but it is definitely "food for thought." (pun intended)

SC

[hijak]

BrnSuga, your color scheme is GORGEOUS! Also, your friends' early morning wedding / brunch reception is one more item to log in my "ideas for someday" folder.

[/hijak]

I have a question: Is it in bad taste to have a cash bar or should I pay for an open bar? My fiance and I are do not drink (and neither do our immediate families), so we are not pressed to have it. I would like to save the money towards something else, but I don't want to be seen as tacky or cheap....

Is there a way to compromise?

Two ideas:

They used this at a formal for an association I belong to - everyone got a "ticket" for one free drink, and then it was a cash bar the rest of the night.

OR

My boss' daughter's wedding, they bought all the alcohol themselves and brought it to the reception hall. That way they saved on the catering company mark up, and there was a limit to how much could be served, so they wouldn't end up with a surprise bar tab later.

I don't know if I'll be able to bring all that alcohol, but I like the first idea...

Traditionally, it is bad taste to have guest pay for anything associated with your wedding, including alcohol, although you see people doing it now. Other compromises including having a "cocktail hour" where drinks are served for the first hour or 2 then stop serving; only have wine and beer, no hard liquor or don't serve alcohol at all.

R U N!!!

I'm just kidding. I've been married for ten years, now, and marriage is...something special.

My advice would be to just believe the wedding vows. Things get better...and worse. You'll be richer...and poorer. Expect it to ebb and flow. And love him, even when he's not being very lovable.

I piggyback on what was previous said, it is considered poor taste. Also to be honest if you have a crowd that enjoys alcohol spring for it, it will change your reception like no other.

Free liqour + pigment enchanced people= Damn good reception!!

People still tell us about our reception...:p

I don't know what I'm going to do about alcohol at our wedding - my family is not big on alcohol (my grandparents are convinced that if you drink at all you must be an alcoholic, of course, and quite likely possessed by Satan besides), whereas Mr. DSTRen13's family is ... much more friendly toward alcoholic substances of all kinds, and generally expect it at all functions (and all times, as far as I can tell ...). A lot of these people will be meeting for the first time at our wedding, and I really am sort of afraid about the reception ... I'm hoping that some sort of wine and cheese hour type thing will be acceptable to everyone.

Oprah's show today was great for those who are engaged or married.
Recommended reading:
Lies at the Alter by Dr. Robin Smith

Congratulations to the engaged folks.

A few tips, off the top of my head:

The wedding is just one day. The marriage is a lifetime. Whether you drop $100,000 on your wedding day and invite 5000 of your closest friends and serve them a full seven-course meal and a Dom Perignon champagne toast, or you have a nice quiet ceremony with just your families and closest friends, you're just as married.

Remember the Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules. If your parents are footing the bill, they get to have a lot more say in where the wedding takes place, whether the reception is a sit-down dinner or buffet or cocktail hour or cake and punch, who gets invited, etc.

As for alcohol, I'd suggest making it available within limits. A cash bar is generally considered tacky. When my husband and I got married, the package included a 1-hour open bar. Once the cocktail hour was over, we decided to offer only wine. Nobody complained and everyone had fun.

Have fun with the wedding planning, and don't stress... too much :)

I really appreciate all of your responses, they were very informative. It seems the general consensus is to keep it open, but I do like the compromise of having a time limit. I will see if that option is open. Our entire wedding will be in a hotel, so I don't think they will have a problem with that!

Thanks so much!!

First of Congratulations to ALL the wonderful people heading towards the altar.

I do wedding coordination as my side job and I really enjoyed reading some of the responses that have been posted.

Always keep in mind that a wedding is supposed to be the celebration of the love you both share not about how much money or gifts you get. I recently received a wedding invitation that had on the bottom of it "Monetary Gifts Perferred".

My husband and I got married almost 7 years ago in the Bahamas. We paid for it ourselves. It was nice and simple. We had about 25 people show up and it was the best day of our lives.

My advice to anyone getting married is to sit down with your spouse and family and make a "REALISTIC" budget. Don't try to impress people by having extravagant ideas that are extremely expensive.

Here are some items to always consider:
1. The reception is where you will spend most of your money.
2. You can't invite the whole world.
3. Try to make that day a reflection of the both of you. If you are a simple couple then your wedding should be simple. You don't have to spend a whole lot of money to have a beautiful day.
4. You should have people in your wedding party that you know truly care about the both of you and your happiness. Don't feel obligated to put anyone in your wedding party that you don't want.
5. Don't be afraid to ask friends and family for help.

I am lucky to have bride whose wedding I am coordinating that is very easy to please and knows what she wants. She is also open to suggestions. For example I made her safe the dates, with a picture of her and her fiance, on my computer and sent them out. Everyone that got them loved them. You would be surprised at how many people really like things that were hand made.

If any of the to be brides would like to talk to me personally you can PM me or call me at 973-953-3837. Good Luck To All of You.:)

Not saying this cause she's my neo, ;) but I'm in a wedding she's coordinating and I must say Steph, knows what she is doing and is well organized.