Interesting. It took me until now to view this thread (and only now, because I have insomnia so I am reading everything,) because my reaction to the title was "not this debate again." So I see where Starang is coming from about it bein overdone. So it is possible, Dr. Parks, that you may have missed a lot of input, because the thread title was ambiguous about the true intent of the thread.

I'd like to cosign that and extend it to

Anyone who has a good heart, a sense of pride in what he or she lives for and a strong character for service in ANY GLO... Everything else is just gravy.

It's not that simple, especially when the pride associated with being an out-the-closet homosexual is considered shameful by heterosexuals.

Being gay isn't just what you do in the bedroom. Straight people convince themselves of that in an effort to be pseudo-tolerant. Gay people concince themselves of that because of self-hatred and shame. Being gay is about love (something straight Greeks bring to the table when wearing their wedding band or talking about a date), a social life (differences in where one might club), political activism and social action (gay black pride festivals), and other nuanced differences between straight and gay people which makes us different, yet equal in the eyes of brotherhood (in my opinion).

I think if we took the same attitude that you expressed above, we wouldn't need chapters like Dr. Parks'. But we do, because of the virulent homophobia that is rampant in black fraternities. Perhaps this chapter will get conversation going -- a much needed dialogue between people who are really about brotherhood.

I really do hear what you are saying in essence, though.

Great post and you are absolutely right (I stand corrected) being gay is not just what you do in the bedroom. Forgive me if you took offense, it was a call to stop putting labels on HUMAN BEINGS. Yes, being gay (openly) in a traditional black fraternity is a taboo. A taboo that may never be resigned. A mindset carried over from society, in general. Although I applaud Dr. Parks for wanting to bring it to the forefront, it must, essentially, start in the frat houses. Brothers must interact (socially, politically, economically, mentally *and all of the other 'allys'. LOL*) with (openly gay) brothers as equal men.

As a straight man, my perception would not have changed from reading a book; however, my perception of gays did change when two sisters, an older aunt and a male cousin 'came out of the closet'. Maybe I am bias, because it was family that made my attitude change, probably, but I know I have been a supporter of gay rights ever since. I even marched in a gay pride parade in NYC with some gay friends. It felt weird (being honest), but empowering to stand up for a right that really do not directly effect me.

Yes, society forces us to view each other differently; should WE, personally, view each other differently with rigid labels? I hope not. My rose-colored glasses do see when WE as human beings will not separate love, social life, political activism and social action into categories of people's choices.

Now, to play both sides of the fence, I do have problems (being honest) with men who over exaggerate (negative) women characteristics. Please do not get me wrong here. I am not talking about men who know they are men but have subtle feminine traits. Cool, no problem. I am talking about the men who switch very hard, flailing their arms around to get attention, neck rolling and sucking teeth all characteristics that are demeaning and negative for even women to have. The same goes for the women who go to extremes to act hard and masculine right down to the grabbing of the crotch. What is that about? LMAO. I have problems with men grabbing their crotch while talking to me so you can imagine my dismay when women do it.

Brother Rashid, as always, your words and thoughts are well needed and heeded. I truly enjoy all of your posts in GC and clicking onto your website.
The Old (Guilded) Gold is great, but you need alittle bit more Charcoal Brown up in the gallery. LMAO. Just joking bruh. Peace and blessings to you and anyone who can take something away from this reply.
Luv is Luv.
Sonny

To the men of Iota Phi Theta, is it okay for an Iota man to represent his fraternity on a sex site? Does it violate any rules? Example: posting a picture of a Centaur as your profile picture with the word IOTA next to it. What if it's a gay site?

All other orgs can answer too. I specifically geared this towards the Iotas for personal reasons.

This is a very good post, because it's not just in the bedroom, and I don't think we (straight or gay) always realize that. It's a lifestyle, and the examples you gave were perfect. I don't always want to go to the club with my gay girlfriends because I might want to talk to straight men that night. Or, I notice that the pride festival is a big event for them every year, (and I guess for me too, because I usually go with them, lol). Even little things like how friendships are formed and maintained are just different. So you're right, it's not just in the bedroom, and you saying it was enlightening.

Frat and friends... forgive me if i offend anyone that is not my intention however i will let MY youth and MY zeal for Iota Phi Theta speak now...

I dont like the idea of homosexual men in my fraternity. Call it biased, call it closed minded, call it what you will. The 12 founders as i've been taught were family men... with wives and some with children. Two men cant have children. Above and beyond that, being a Christian man i dont feel that its appropriate or fair to include that lifestyle in the representation of MY organization. I do not speak for or in place of any member of Iota nor do i feel that my opinion is what a national officer would give HOWEVER i'm voicing what i feel within me as other individuals have so profoundly done. I see no need to hide behind being "PC" nor do i feel the need to sugarcoat my take on the matter. I know a few homosexual men who are very active and upstanding individuals in their respective communities... they are open about their stance and yet dont parade it as such. One in particular is a choir director at a church. Do i find it ironic yes, but thats between him, his god, and his soul. I dont judge gay men i just dont feel they belong in Iota Phi Theta fraternity inc.

Its 2006, give it a break already, LOL....
 

This is in no way to offend anyone, I'm clearly giving you another point of view on the situation. Only God can Judge me!!!!

Wow! Now for us to say we would not take homosexuals into any orgainzation is discrimimation. Although I do not agree with homosexuality, I accept them for who they are. Men and women that work hard for whatever they believe in. I have many homosexual, hetrosexual, white, black, hispanic, latino, jewish, asian, african, female and male freinds. I do not see color, height, weight, dysfunciton, or anything else in a person therefore I do not and will not discriminate. I do not care about race, religion, sexuality, what school you went to, where you live what diffence is gonna make on your impact in whatever Fraternity or Sorrority you maybe apart of when it comes to service of the community.

To speak on the websites, some things are very out of order. i.e. Girls Gone Wild Sorrority Edition.

I feel you want some scholarly works to research, find out why certian members of fraternities and sorrorities do not graduate from college? Why do sorrorities and fraternities promote underage drinking? Or you can do a comparision on graduation rates to drop-out rates in all fraternities and sorrorities? Or you can find out do is binge drinking related to fraternity or sorrority life? I can go on forever with the research questions but this is not the place for it.

Although I am hetrosexual I feel that you researching this topic is pointless, and anyone in their right mind would not look at it twice. I welcome all comments and leave with something to think about. This is not about be open minded but not trying passing judgment on people based race, religion, or sexual orientation.